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There is a particular kind of disappointment reserved for a garden that ought to be lovely but ends up looking ‘budget’. Where everything feels slightly off: too matchy, too sparse, too bright. The good news is that this isn’t about money. It’s about decisions. And most of them are fixable.
Here is what to avoid at all costs…
Lots of plastic
The garish bright (and uncomfortable) plastic chairs come across as cheap and won’t stand the test of time
First, let’s talk about plastic. The enemy is not plastic per se (we are not purists here), but the garish bright (and uncomfortable) chairs, the faux terracotta pots, the coffee table that looks like it belongs at a kids’ tea party. Not only does it come across as cheap, but it won’t stand the test of time.
To be clear, you don’t need to go full Cotswolds estate for your garden furniture to look bougie, but a shift towards natural materials like timber, stone and real terracotta will make everything look more expensive than it is. I love the Turin wooden dining table set below.
Cringe-worthy ornaments
If you love ornaments such as gnomes, the trick is restraint – or else you might cheapen the overall aesthetic
Gnomes. Toadstools. Fairies. You might be able to get away with one of these, but two quickly becomes a theme. Any more than that and it all looks a bit garden centre clearance sale. If you love ornaments, the trick is restraint. Transforming your outside space is all about editing. While you might want to include lots of different ornaments, plants or furniture in your yard, there is such a thing as too much, which can cheapen the overall aesthetic.
Instead, if you want to include a sculpture in your borders, stick with a colourful modern piece such as the Homescapes bird table below. One attractive piece is far more chic than lots of little ones.
Clashing bedding plants
Too many brightly coloured, slightly shouty bedding plants can start to look messy
No one is denying the joy of something that pops up quickly and gets on with the job. But there is a tipping point. Too many brightly coloured, slightly shouty bedding plants can start to look messy.
Instead, try repeating just one or two colours, or sticking to softer, more harmonious tones. Think whites, pale purples or blush pinks, which will instantly feel calmer and more considered. Even mixing in foliage-heavy plants or grasses can take the edge off, giving the eye somewhere to rest.
An unkempt lawn
No one wants to see a patchy, weed-speckled, faintly jaundiced stretch of grass
Lawns are demanding creatures that take up time, but it is worth it. No one wants to see a patchy, weed-speckled, faintly jaundiced stretch of grass.
To be clear, perfection is not the aim here. But care is. A lawn should look as though someone has noticed it exists: edges crisply defined, grass cut with some regularity, the odd bald patch addressed rather than ignored in the hope it might resolve itself. These small acts of attention shift the mood to intentional rather than thrown together.
And if the prospect of such upkeep sounds exhausting, then it may be time for a more decisive approach. There is no shame in abandoning the lawn altogether. Gravel, paving or generous planting schemes can be infinitely more forgiving – and, done well, far more elegant.
AstroTurf
Artificial grass is a crime against design. It sits on top of a garden rather than belonging to it and never looks real, despite what your friends may tell you
This leads us on to the subject of artificial grass, which is a crime against design. It sits on top of a garden rather than belonging to it and never looks real, despite what your friends may tell you.
If you already have AstroTurf in your garden, however, all is not lost. The trick is to distract from its uniformity. Surround it with lots of real planting – loose, slightly unruly borders that spill over the edges and blur the lines. Introduce natural materials nearby: timber, stone, anything that can distract from the plastic-y sheen.
Questionable lighting choices
Solar stake lights are an instant ambience killer, making paths look more like runways
Lighting is another frequent offender. Solar stake lights lined up with military precision along a path can make it look more like a runway, and their cold, bluish glow is an instant ambience killer.
Instead, think in layers. A string of warm festoon lights draped casually (not tautly) across a fence, such as the silver micro-lights below; a couple of lanterns with soft, flickering bulbs; perhaps a single, well-placed uplight to catch the trunk of a tree. Restraint is key. You are aiming for mood lighting, not a floodlit car park.
Matchy-matchy furniture sets
Six identical chairs, a table, a parasol, all purchased in one click by those desperate to get their garden sorted in time for summer. It is the garden equivalent of buying an entire outfit off a mannequin: flat and boring.
Gardens, like interiors, benefit from a sense of accumulation. Mix chairs in different shapes and sizes. Bring out that bench from the garage that your mum gave you. And place a small, slightly battered side table that looks like it has lived a life. Think personality over perfection.
Matchy-matchy sets are the garden equivalent of buying an entire outfit off a mannequin: flat and boring
Everyday clutter
Life spills into the garden. But when all of that is permanently on show, it shifts the mood entirely
Bins, hoses, a collapsing deckchair, half-used compost bags on display? These are a no. Life spills into the garden. But when all of that is permanently on show, it shifts the mood entirely. Suddenly, it’s not a place to linger, it’s a storage zone. A simple screen, a bench with hidden storage (below) or even just a bit of strategic rearranging can restore a sense of calm.
Dated water features
A small, self-contained fountain tucked into a corner, gently (or not so gently) gurgling away, can make a garden look cheap
Water features always sound like a good idea: calming, tasteful, spa-like. But they can go wrong with surprising speed. It’s usually the small, self-contained fountain tucked into a corner, gently (or not so gently) gurgling away, that makes a garden look cheap.
If you do want to bring water into the garden, it helps to keep things simple. Think less ‘feature’, more ‘quiet presence’: a shallow bowl that reflects the sky, or a galvanised trough planted up with aquatic greenery. Nothing too busy, nothing trying too hard.
An unconsidered sense of scale
Nothing makes a garden look cheaper than undersized elements scattered apologetically across a space
And then there is the issue of scale. Nothing makes a garden look cheaper than undersized elements scattered apologetically across a space. Tiny pots on a large patio; a narrow path meandering through an otherwise generous lawn; a single, lonely shrub marooned in the middle of a border. The eye reads this as mean, even if that wasn’t the intention.
The solution is to go bigger, but more selectively. Fewer pots, but larger ones. One generous, confident planting bed rather than several tentative ones. Think in terms of gestures rather than details.
