It seems Beanie-wearing bore Chris Martin has another female admirer in the form of cricketer Shane Warne’s widow Simone Callahan.
The glamorous yoga enthusiast shared a series of gushing posts on Instagram following a cosy backstage meet up at Coldplay’s recent Wembley stadium gig. Martin is an old family friend of the Warnes and according to a source in Australian women’s magazine, New Idea, Simone’s ‘eyes light up around him’.
Well, sorry to snuff out her enthusiasm but the crooner’s little black book is already bulging.
In fact, rumoured new love interest 29-year-old actress, Sophie Turner, is just the latest in a line of starry, younger squeezes. All of which begs the question – bank balance aside- just why is he so popular with the opposite sex?
Ok, I’m sure the former Mr Gwyneth Paltrow is as humble and harmless as you could hope for a music behemoth worth £160million but that’s not the point.
For all his tie-dyed t-shirts, the man is just so beige, a vegetarian virtue signaller as woke and worthy as the lighter-waving sing-alongs he’s been churning out for the last 25 years.
Surely rock-God sex symbols should be a little more troubled and tousled a la Michael Hutchence- in his ’80s heyday not droning on about carbon capture and keeping a ‘worry journal’?
The Devon-born 48-year-old practices intermittent fasting, doesn’t drink and has even cut out coffee – heaven forbid, he could be awake at 2am with the caffeine jitters. Plus, he needs his energy for a busy day of transcendental meditation and his many other wellness rituals.
Chris Martin wearing one of his signature tie-dyed t-shirts for his performance at Glastonbury in summer 2024
Not that such wussy wetness affects his pulling power. As a reminder this is the guy who bagged a pre-Goop Gwyneth Paltrow in the earlier noughties when she was Hollywood’s hottest leading lady still basking in Oscar glory.
She went on to become the mother of his two children before their ‘unconscious uncoupling’ in 2016 and her pivot to hawking candles and ‘healing stickers’ through her wellness empire.
Martin followed on from Paltrow’s lady-killing exes Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck, not bad for the ancient history graduate branded ‘geeky’ and ‘nerdy’ by old girlfriends. Then there was an on/off dalliance with Jennifer Lawrence and an eight-year relationship with Dakota Johnson that started at the height of her 50 Shades Of Grey notoriety.
He has also been linked to Rhianna and Alexa Chung while unrequited crushes included a then teenage Miley Cyrus and the late Diane Keaton covering both ends of the age spectrum.
What is wrong with these people? Ok, I’ll concede, that a beefed-up Martin has not surprisingly benefited from a Hollywood glow up since he first emerged in the late ‘90s with the band formed at his old college.
As a composer of melancholic mega hits he ticks the deep and artful box often appreciated by the fairer sex. Plus, having grown up in a Georgian grade II-listed pile set in eight acres and attended fee-paying Sherbourne School in Dorset he has that very English, posh pedigree that can turn the head of a certain kind of anglophile actress. Certainly, he’ll seem a more refined and low-key antidote to some of Hollywood’s brash bad boys.
But it doesn’t detract from what is so very annoying, starting with the ‘90s sixth form student wardrobe. Specifically, the t-shirts layered over long-sleeved tops, tight jeans and Air Jordans.
And don’t get me started on all those extra affectations he seems so fond of; the beaded bracelets and charity badges aligned to the latest fashionable bandwagon he’s jumped on or the jean chains like’s he on route to the local skate park.
New Idea reports the children of cricket icon Shane Warne would ‘love’ to see their mother spark up a relationship with Coldplay frontman Chris Martin (Pictured from left: Brooke Warne, Simone Callaghan, Chris Martin, Jackson Warne, and Kiah Broadsmith)
Not to mention all the unforgivable political posturing. Yes, like many a Malibu-dwelling millionaire with a global platform, Martin can never miss an opportunity to flex his right on credentials with some call to action or lecture.
That’s why we got the predictable apology for British colonialism during a concert on the Asia leg of Coldplay’s Music of the Spheres tour in Mumbai earlier this year.
‘Thank you for welcoming us even though we are from Great Britain. Thanks for forgiving us for everything Great Britain did,’ he droned in his West Country/transatlantic lilt while making a prayer gesture.
And who can forget that widely derided foray into geopolitics during a London concert last November? The singer brought two female Israeli fans on stage and informed them he would treat them as ‘equal humans on Earth, regardless of where you come from.’ Not at all condescending…..
Yep, nothing can solve the war in Gaza like some empty platitudes and a burst of Fix You. That’s peace in the Middle East sorted. Just stick to belting out Paradise please.
Of course, all is forgiven by the fan faithful and the glamorous high rollers on his arm.
For now, bagging Chris Martin seems to be a rite of passage for the cool girl crowd and proof that beige really is the new black.
