YANKING down her tights to expose her bare bum, an outrageously drunk reveller pees on the street in front of 200 fellow partygoers.
Nearby, two brawls have broken out and a bloke in a suit is handcuffed by cops.
Another is bleeding from the eyebrow and the arm of his blazer is almost ripped off.
Elsewhere, a bald man in his 40s vomits repeatedly and a young woman falls on her face while wolfing down a giant kebab.
And it’s only 8pm . . .
Welcome to Beaujolais Nouveau Day, aka “Swansea Christmas”, the hottest event in the Welsh social calendar, loved by folk from their teens right through to their eighties.
It’s the annual “p**s-up” that sees women glam-up like A-listers — only to get so hammered they risk spewing over their expensive, skimpy rhinestone dresses hours later.
The tradition, which always falls on the third Thursday in November, started in the Sixties as a rather more civilised affair 743 miles away in France’s Beaujolais wine region.
It marks the first batches of the light black grape tipple being released for sale.
And over the subsequent two decades, it exploded in popularity in the UK — all thanks to Swansea.
Ironically, despite the raucous celebrations in the wine’s honour, most punters don’t even like its taste.
Late Welsh rugby captain Clem Thomas was credited with the rise of the craze after discovering it in Burgundy, and loving the bevvy so much he brought back crates to sell at his boozer, the No Sign Wine Bar
‘Excuse to get drunk’
But by the early 2000s, interest faded and events fell by the wayside — except in Swansea.
Stuart Davies, 38, deputy general manager of the bar Clem once owned, tells us: “I can’t pinpoint why we still celebrate it, but we were the last to get Uber, so we’ll probably be the last to get rid of Beaujolais Day.”
More than 2,700 people will flock through the doors of this one boozer alone to mark the occasion, increasing regular takings by 30 per cent — despite them only having 60 bottles of Beaujolais Nouveau in stock.
Stuart insists it’s a bigger deal than Black Friday, Halloween, Christmas nights out and even Wales’s Six Nation fixture against England. In fact, they already have bookings for next year.
He explains: “Nobody does it like Swansea.
“This is the first day of Christmas for us and truthfully it’s just an excuse to get drunk on a Thursday.”
Few venues actually sell the so-called “soda-pop wine” as it is wildly unpopular.
This is the first day of Christmas for us and truthfully it’s just an excuse to get drunk on a Thursday
Stuart Davies
“It tastes like a**e,” says barrister Phoebe Lewis, 23, from Bridgend. Bartender and drag queen Mitchell Fowler, 24 — who claims giant fish bowls of the plonk used to be laid out for free, but it was “so bad people preferred to pay for alcohol” — says: “It tastes like utter s**t. It’s the worst wine in the world.”
Nowadays, Beaujolais Day’s central hub, Wind Street, is compared to Benidorm due to its raucousness.
Ironically pronounced “Wine Street”, it’s a 350-yard stretch of clubs offering free shots, £3 pints and double vodka mixers and cocktail jugs for a fiver.
It’s lapped up by the city’s uber-glam ladies, all dressed in stunning, barely-there gowns despite temperatures plummeting to -1C. But what they lack in clothes, they make up for in boozing.
Chuckling Mackenzie Fitzjohn, 20, recalls the wildest thing he has seen on Beaujolais Day.
The renewable energy worker says: “Literally an hour ago, someone got naked in a club’s smoking area.
“She came up to us and was like, ‘Oh, do you want to see my t**s?’. Then she pulled her dress over her head. She was kicked out shortly after . . . along with her husband.”
Student Malakai Hammond, 20, from Grimsby, adds of the revelry: “It feels like we’re in Towie. Who needs Benidorm when you’ve got Swansea?” Such bustling nightlife and hedonistic hellraising is rarely seen in the UK these days.
The Campaign For Real Ale says 1,086 pubs closed between New Year’s Day and October 22 this year.
But on Wind Street, the antics are in full swing, with the first reveller ejected from a club at 3pm. The woman had allegedly slapped a stranger and wrestled with a bouncer outside Dorothy’s Showbar.
Literally an hour ago, someone got naked in a club’s smoking area
Mackenzie Fitzjohn
Mitchell, who works there, tells us: “She was steaming, so we had to kick her out. But most of the trouble comes from men who are too p***ed after drinking Stella all day. It’s crazy. “
“I’ve seen so many people fall into plant pots and lots of girls spewing over the nice dresses they paid hundreds of pounds for.”
Soon after, a chant of, “t*ts out” erupts from a gaggle of women, who appear to be in their mid-50s.
By 5pm, the party is going strong and one lady is seen dancing in a club with a wet floor sign over her head. Outside, others are hysterically crying from the effects of the booze.
‘Pensioner propped up’
The guys fare no better. Passersby who witness the bald man throwing up four times joke, “Should we hold back his hair?”. One suited gent is so inebriated, he falls into a raised flower bed. After being helped up, he stumbles through the crowd before collapsing again.
In a nearby alley, a St John Ambulance paramedic yells, “Grab a spew bowl” after spotting a wasted pensioner being propped up by two loved ones.
The Sun witnessed four fights and many near-misses, including one between a Kylie Jenner lookalike drag queen and a man who allegedly pinched her bum.
Walkways are so packed with dazed revellers, a sozzled mobility scooter driver keeps yelling: “Move out the way, you motherf***ers!”
Arguably, the highlight of the evening is accountant James Westacott, 48, who is dressed like Donald Trump, with partner Ruby Evans, 26, as wife Melania.
He says. “It’s like Ibiza mixed with a Hollywood film star event — but crazy.”
When people drink, a glass is a very dangerous weapon. It’s as deadly as a knife in the wrong hands. All it takes is one moment of madness
Natalie Arthurs
Moments later, he chases after a drunk lady who has nicked his hat.
Nearby, a barefoot woman has just trodden in a giant pile of horse dung, dropped by a mounted police officer’s steed. One lairy drinker says: “It’s like the races, but in the streets. Loads of birds, loads of booze, best day of the year.”
Not everyone gives such a positive review, though. Barber David James, 68, dreads the event’s “complete chaos”. He says: “Alcohol is way too cheap. People get drunk and become animals. They fight, cause damage and don’t care.”
There is a heavy police presence working to keep the drunken crowd of thousands in line.
During the 2022 Beaujolais Day revelry, mum Natalie Arthurs was glassed in the face at a bar by stranger Emily Williams, who was later jailed for five years for causing grievous bodily harm.
Natalie, now 38, said of the attack: “It was like a horror scene and I heard the screams of everyone around me.”
Natalie suffered permanent scarring and PTSD.
She is now calling for a “no-glass policy” in pubs, bars and clubs after 9pm to reduce the risks.
She adds: “When people drink, a glass is a very dangerous weapon. It’s as deadly as a knife in the wrong hands. All it takes is one moment of madness.”
South Wales Police made eight arrests at this year’s celebrations.
Many revellers staggering around Wind Street likely would not stop to consider the consequences of pulling any risky antics.
For them, Christmas has come early in Swansea — and their priority is to drink the city dry.
