A woman who was subject to horrific abuse by her ex-partner has branded him a ‘monster’ as she bravely shares footage of one of his violent attacks.
Gemma Laidler, 40, from Newcastle, met Ryan Grundy, 35, in 2021 and thought him to be the perfect gentleman.
However before long their picture-perfect relationship descended into an abusive spiral as Grundy began to drink heavily and flew into rages.
Before long, Grundy’s attacks became a frequent occurrence – but when she tried to leave, he’d manipulate her into taking him back.
Eventually Grundy was convicted of assaulting Gemma, after one of his violent outbursts was caught on her home CCTV system, which she’d installed to keep an eye on her beloved dogs and which Grundy was aware of.
Harrowing footage filmed between 2022 and 2023 shows Grundy pinning down his then-partner before placing his hands on her throat, headbutting her and throwing her to the floor; but the thuggish behaviour is a far cry from the doting partner Grundy pretended to be when he first met Gemma.
Speaking in court, Gemma revealed how she felt her connection with Grundy was ‘unbreakable’ after they met through a mutual friend.
When the pair were first introduced, Grundy revealed to Gemma that he had struggled mental health issues and drug use in the past; and had developed a cocaine addiction after having a stillborn daughter.
Gemma Laidler, 40, has branded her ex Ryan Grundy, 35, a ‘monster’ after he was convicted of assaulting her in attacks caught on her home CCTV system
Gemma, who works as a carer, felt compelled to look after Grundy and invited him to move in with her just months after they first began dating.
But once they had begun living together, Gemma says Grundy’s personality changed and the ‘cracks began to show’.
If she left him on his own, he would threaten to buy drugs – which led her to call in sick for work so she could spend time with him.
I thought I could help him,’ she said. ‘But he’ll always be a thug.’
Gemma recalled: ‘He began drinking heavily and when he didn’t get his own way, he’d bully me. He would often throw his phone on the floor in a rage, or punch my doors.
‘For days at a time he’d give me the silent treatment and made me think it was my fault.’
It was around a year into the relationship that Grundy first laid his hands on Gemma.
On August 10, 2022, Gemma and Grundy got into an argument – during which Grundy slapped his partner in the face.
Shaken by the incident, Gemma locked herself in a room with her dogs until she felt it was safe to come out.
Grundy, from the Byker area of Newcastle, strangled Gemma during a fit of rage in 2022 in an assault caught on camera
Grundy (pictured) pleaded guilty to non-fatal strangulation, ABH, harassment and two common assault charges
But Grundy wasn’t finished. The next day, he called her ‘fat’, punched her bedroom door and pushed her face onto the bed.
When she got back up he lunged at her again, shoving her to the bed once more.
Gemma recalled: ‘I screamed at him to leave and he wrapped both his hands around my neck. As he squeezed tightly, I thought I was going to die.
‘Looking at his face, his eyes were black with rage.’
Thankfully, Gemma managed to kick Grundy off her. Afterwards, he pretended to strangle himself with a dog lead.
Gemma recalled how Grundy’s manipulation led her to forgive his attacks as he played the victim.
‘He always threatened to kill himself to make me feel sorry for him,’ she said. ‘I was in such a cycle of abuse I didn’t know how to break it.’
Several of Grundy’s attacks on his partner Gemma were caught on her home cameras, which she had installed to keep an eye on her beloved dogs
Grundy assaulted Gemma multiple times during their relationship; and each time would win her back over by manipulating her
Gemma, who now shares her story with others in order to raise awareness of domestic violence, believed she would be able to help Grundy
Gemma and Grundy were introduced by a mutual friend in 2021 and moved in together within just few months
Grundy had revealed early on in the relationship that he’d struggled with cocaine addiction in the past, particularly after having a stillborn daughter
Gemma was subject to several attacks at Grundy’s hands during their relationship, which left her with swelling and bruises
Two months later in October 2022, Grundy struck again when he shoved Gemma across the living room.
This time, she was able to call the police, and two officers turned up at her home to arrest Grundy.
However, Gemma explained she decided not to press charges against her abusive partner, hoping a night in a cell would ‘sort him out’.
Sadly, Grundy’s violent streak continued to rear his head, and he attacked her once more in April 2023 when they argued.
Fearing for her safety, Gemma once again locked herself in a room with her dogs, where she stayed for several hours.
She was so frightened to come out that she was forced to urinate in a bin.
Three months later, Grundy once again lashed out at his partner – but this time, the attack was caught on Gemma’s home CCTV system.
During some of Grundy’s attacks, Gemma locked herself in her bedroom with her dogs for several hours, until she felt it was safe to come out
Gemma, who works as a carer, felt she would be able to help Grundy battle his demons when they first met
The horrifying footage, captured in the summer of 2023, shows Grundy headbutting his partner before going to the kitchen and returning with a knife.
Gemma recalled: ‘He held it to his neck and threatened to slit his throat. Started following me around with it. I begged him not to do it.’
Thankfully, Gemma managed to alert a neighbour, who called the police. Grundy was arrested and bailed on the condition he would not contact Gemma.
But it wasn’t long before he breached his conditions and flooded Gemma with messages begging her to take him back.
She said: ‘When I didn’t respond, he threatened to kill himself and called me a ‘fat c*nt’. It was awful. I was terrified he’d come and finish me off.’
At the end of December 2023, Gemma finally revealed all of Grundy’s abuse to the police, handing over her home footage that was used as evidence against him. The following month he was remanded.
In November last year, at Newcastle Crown Court, he admitted non-fatal strangulation, ABH, harassment and two common assault charges. He was sentenced to 14 months.
Gemma attended his sentencing, bravely reading her victim impact statement.
In the emotional letter, as reported by the Newcastle Chronicle, she said she ‘loved this man more than anyone on earth’ and described him as her ‘best friend’.
‘I so desperately wanted to save him,’ she admitted.
She also recalled the terror of living through Grundy’s attacks: ‘Not being able to breathe properly with both hands gripped tightly around my neck, a look of complete rage and venom in his eyes.’
Speaking months on from Grundy’s sentencing, Gemma said: ‘I’m relieved he got time behind bars for what he did.
‘Now I’m using my voice to help others and sharing my experience on social media.
‘A girl messaged me the other night to say she had recently got out a relationship and she was thinking of taking him back but she’s been watching my videos and it’s given her strength.
‘I could let that horrible experience ruin my life or I could turn it into something positive. So I choose the latter.’
For help and support, you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247
