In July 2024, former soldier Kyle Clifford broke into the home of his ex-girlfriend Louise Hunt, stabbed her mother Carol – the wife of BBC racing commentator John Hunt – then killed his daughters Louise and Hannah with a crossbow.
It’s hard to imagine the pain Mr Hunt must feel after most of his family were murdered. But last week he gave a deeply moving interview about the grief of losing his wife and two of his daughters.
Mr Hunt was joined by his surviving daughter, Amy. Reflecting on the horrifically violent attack at their home in Bushey, Hertfordshire, they agreed there was no advance warning that Clifford was capable of such a crime.
‘Did we have any indication that this man was capable of stabbing my mother, of tying Louise up, of raping Louise, of shooting Louise and shooting Hannah? Absolutely not,’ Amy said.
‘He never once hit her,’ said John. ‘He was in the house an awful lot in that 18 months – I never heard raised voices once.’
They were a normal couple, he said, spending lots of time together in the family home.
It’s a chilling thought that someone you welcome into your home – and that you consider a member of your family – might be capable of such things.
BBC racing commentator John Hunt, with his surviving daughter Amy, spoke of the grief of losing his wife and two daughter in a deeply moving TV interview
John with Amy (standing next to her father) and his wife, Carol, and daughters, Louise (second from right, who ran a dog-grooming business) and Hannah
Many families must now be feeling an icy shiver go through them at this thought: That a monster like Clifford could be hiding in plain sight in the same way.
It was only after these tragic murders it became apparent that there were signs of ‘gentle manipulation’ by Clifford in his belittling texts to Louise. The family now believe in retrospect that there could have been abuse or coercion going on behind the scenes.
This is the problem with abusive and coercive relationships. The abuse can be insidious, making it very hard to spot and even harder to act on. Over the years, I have had a number of patients in coercive relationships. What is shocking for those on the outside is how the victim is often unaware of what is happening. Most of these have been women, but statistics suggest a third of those who are being coercively controlled are men.
When I’ve shared my suspicions – that I’m worried they are being controlled – my patients often shake their heads in utter denial.
Abusers are clever in the way they manage to convince their victims that they – and not the perpetrator – are the ones who are the problem. They subtly undermine the victims’ confidence.
Perhaps their partner isn’t very good with their finances, the abuser suggests, so they should allow the other person to budget for them, or have oversight of their bank account.
Reflecting on the violent attack in which Kyle Clifford (pictured) murdered Carol, Louise and Hannah, John and Amy say there was no advance warning that the former soldier was capable of such a horrific crime
If there has been an argument with the family, the coercive partner will encourage the victim to distance themselves. They’ll say they’ve never really liked the family and suggest it’s best if they don’t spend Christmas there, for example.
This approach is always couched in terms of wanting to help the other person, of being considerate and thoughtful.
But, all along, there are attempts to sow the seeds of the idea that their partner can’t cope alone.
The abuser will undermine, belittle or mock the person so that they lose confidence and therefore feel lucky that the abuser is still with them.
In fact, latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show that around one in five people aged 16 and over have experienced domestic abuse.
So what are the signs that your loved one is in a coercive or abusive relationship? While forms of abuse may vary, there are often key features.
Six signs of coercive control:
ISOLATION: Encouraging the victim to cut contact with friends and family, stopping them seeing loved ones, and making them feel isolated.
CONTROL: Monitoring the victim’s time, whereabouts, and communication (such as their phone, internet and social media), dictating what they wear, who they see, and where they go.
DEHUMANISATION: Repeatedly putting the victim down, humiliating them, and making them feel worthless.
FINANCIAL ABUSE: Controlling the victim’s access to money, limiting their ability to work, or demanding that they hand over their earnings.
BULLYING AND THREATS: Using intimidation or violence to control the victim.
EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION: Gaslighting (making the victim doubt their sanity or perceptions)and playing on their emotions.
John on holiday with Carol, who died almost a year ago in Bushey, Hertfordshire
How you can help:
Be gentle: But also consistent, raising your concerns to allow your family member time to understand and reflect on your worries.
Recognise the pattern: Coercive control is a form of abuse and the victim is not at fault.
Believe the victim: Offer support and let them know you believe them and that their experience is valid.
Provide information: Connect them with resources such as Refuge, Women’s Aid, or local support organisations.
Help them plan: Assist with practical steps such as creating an escape plan, gathering important documents, and identifying safe places to go.
Be patient: Recovery from coercive control can take time, and the victim may need ongoing support and encouragement.
Coercive control is a crime. Don’t be afraid to get professional help for yourself or the victim, as recovery can be challenging.
Sex ISN’T always good for you…
Dame Emma Thompson claims sex should be available on the NHS as it is so important to our wellbeing
Dame Emma Thompson claims sex should be available on the NHS as it is so important to our wellbeing.
Speaking last week, she revealed that since the 2022 release of her film Good Luck To You, Leo Grande, in which a widowed teacher hires a male escort to help her explore her sexuality, she has heard of older women doing the same in real life.
‘Sex should be part of our health plan,’ she says. ‘It should really be on the NHS.’
She finds the idea of an older woman hiring an escort liberating. I wonder how progressive people would feel if it were a man exploring his sex life with a female escort.
Having worked with female sex workers over the years, many have experienced horrific abuse, often starting in childhood, or have had issues with drugs. There’s no doubt that when it comes to sex work, there is a difference between male and female escorts.
Jewish doctors feel ‘intimidated and unsafe’ at the British Medical Association’s annual conference because one in ten motions relate to Israel and Palestine.
The doctors’ union should be ashamed of itself. As a member, I want to know what is being done to address this?
Plus, why is the BMA even discussing Zionism?
I, and many other doctors, are sick of the ideologues that have taken over the BMA, which wades into topics that have nothing to do with medicine.
Once again, it has overstepped its bounds with cheap, virtue-signalling political statements.
Dr Max prescribes… Sunscreen
Dr Max says make sure you use an SPF of 30 or higher, even if your make-up contains it
A recent discussion at work about applying sunscreen to the face shocked me. Nearly all the nurses I work with said they didn’t bother putting on extra SPF because it was in their make-up.
But research shows that this isn’t adequate as a stand-alone defence against the sun’s UV rays.
Do make sure you put on sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher, even if your make-up contains it.
Ministers are considering a ban on alcohol ads online and limiting TV adverts to address alcohol-related health issues.
But ads don’t cause them, psychological issues do. Politicians should tackle social ills and lawlessness instead.
