Let me start by asking you a few questions.
How do you feel about your life? Happy, fulfilled? Have you created the life you once imagined for yourself? What would you wish for if you could have anything? A new job, more friends, a new home? A great love? Your heart’s desire?
Where you are today is the accumulation of everything that has happened to you so far in your life. Each one of us has taken a series of paths – either by accident or by choice – to end up where we are.
Your current life has been determined by every thought and feeling you have had, every action you’ve taken and all the people and circumstances you have attracted along the way as a result.
Think about it. Everything that exists began with a thought, a picture in someone’s mind. In every garden, seeds had to be planted before the flowers could bloom.
Most of our lives appear, falsely, to be determined by luck and chance.
In fact, I have met many successful people who credit amazing changes in their lives to the power of manifesting: multi-millionaires, business people, philanthropists, as well as those who are simply content all round.
Despite appearances, we are all equally powerful. Wherever you are in your life, at any second, minute, day, month or year, you have the option to continue your current path or pause and ask yourself: What do I want now in my life?
Once you can imagine it, you can manifest it.
Manifesting is the practice of focusing your thoughts on what you want in order to turn your dreams into reality.
The underlying idea is that by visualising and then focusing on the outcomes you want, and by acting as if your goal is already happening, you start to bring those outcomes into your life.
At the heart of manifesting are three core principles:
1. Pay attention to what you want by making a wish.
2. Intend that this wish will come true – focus your energy on it.
3. Expect it to happen, and stay open to however the universe delivers it.
The underlying idea is that by visualising and then focusing on the outcomes you want, and by acting as if your goal is already happening, you start to bring those outcomes into your life
Manifesting can apply to many areas of your life. For example, you might want a new career: visualise yourself with the new job title, thriving in your new role or passing the final interview.
Perhaps you want to manifest financial abundance: imagine receiving a particular sum of money, or enjoying what it allows you to do. You might want to attract a healthy relationship: see yourself with your future partner, experiencing joyous moments. Feel yourself worthy of unconditional love.
If you imagine a confident version of yourself, moving through life and having new experiences that bring growth and adventure, you will begin to manifest it.
Unlike with setting a goal, you don’t need to know exactly how you are going to make your dreams come true; your picture of what you want is the important thing. When you manifest, you use focused thoughts, feelings and beliefs to attract what you want – and when it appears, it is often as if by luck or synchronicity. You don’t need to know how – you just need to know what, and to trust the process.
The role of the universe
When you manifest something, the universe becomes your co‑creator. By crafting your wishes effectively, you are in collaboration with the fundamental life force in the universe. You can surrender the ‘how’ in favour of intention and an expectation that you will be rewarded.
The universe is more than the world of the senses. It exists on levels beyond the comprehension of your ability to see, hear and touch.
The material world and the invisible world are both made up of vibrating energy, sometimes called electro-magnetic energy. What surrounds us may look solid and hard, but this is an illusion. Everything is made up of energy.
Take radio waves, for example – we can’t see them, and until relatively recently in human history they would have seemed like magic.
But now, of course, we accept that many things exist beyond our ordinary senses.
You are a powerful vehicle through which the life force of the universe flows. This life force connects you to everything that exists in the world: every atom and molecule and every other human being.
At a quantum level, science posits that everything that comes into existence manifests as waves of energy, leading to deep levels of interconnectedness.
Our thoughts and intentions, also being energetic in nature, interact and influence the fundamental fabric of the universe. When you craft your wish, you send a ripple through the universe which eventually brings your wish into reality.
Think of yourself as composed of three parts: your conscious, which thinks it’s in charge; your subconscious, which stores your memories and sense of identity; and your higher self, which is connected to the invisible universe.
When you manifest something, the universe becomes your co‑creator
From childhood you begin to build a story about yourself and everything around you in the world. These generalisations, personal interpretations and theories about life are accepted and stored in the subconscious.
These decide your past, present and future reality. It’s like having a personal library stored inside you, with new books added throughout your lifetime.
Some will be helpful, but others will have titles like You Can’t Have What You Want and This Is Why You’re Useless At Love, or You’ll Never Be Rich And Don’t Deserve To Be Anyway.
If your conscious and subconscious are not aligned in their belief that something is possible, then the subconscious wins out. To make sure you manifest all your goals successfully, your subconscious must fully buy into your conscious desires. This is the Law of Attraction: your thoughts attract precisely what you expect to attract into your life.
The power of intention
When I was nine, I wished that one day I would go to China – wherever that was. I wished I could speak Chinese. I visualised my goal clearly, and it started to become a reality. A decade later, I found myself in China.
Even at this point, after my first wish had come true, I had no idea what would come next.
My wish took me in all sorts of unexpected directions: from the trading floors of Asia, to meeting spiritual teachers, politicians and business people, to becoming a writer. I now understand how a wish can change your life for ever in amazing ways you can’t anticipate. You will never be the same person that you were at the beginning of your story.
Before you make your first wish, let’s take a look at your world right now: the ordinary world.
The ordinary world can be a comfortable place to be for a while because it’s familiar and feels safe. It can also be an uncomfortable place that you stay in because of a fear of the unknown.
The ordinary world is where you end up when you don’t pay attention to what you really want in life and when you don’t intentionally manifest or wish for anything.
The ordinary world is where you live when you are afraid of failing or following your own path, when you don’t love yourself and when you don’t have a good sense of who you are or what you can become.
It’s a world where you don’t recognise your potential and power, aren’t receptive to opportunities and don’t expect to get what you want. It’s full of feelings of ‘I have to’, ‘I should’ and ‘I ought to’.
In the ordinary world, change can look intimidating. Our expectations of the future are shaped by our past experiences which keep us stuck in our habits, whether they are comfortable or uncomfortable.
Your future is waiting to be written by you. Ahead of you lies an infinite number of doors, each opening onto a unique path and a different life. You can choose any door you want.
If you make big wishes, you will transform. Even if you stay in the same job, living in the same house and married to the same person, you will change. You will be more powerful than you were before, and more knowledgeable about yourself.
Have you ever seen the picture of The Fool in a deck of Tarot cards? He stands at the edge of a cliff, ready to step into the unknown. This character symbolises optimism and a positive belief that everything will turn out all right.
The Fool is sometimes naive, but he is also ready to trust and take a brave step.
Like The Fool, you too hold the key to your own evolution. Just a moment away is all the freedom and fulfilment you could ever desire. Will you choose to take the leap?
Ask yourself: What’s my life been like up till now? What do I tell myself about my life? What do I tell others about my life? Write out your story.
As you do so, notice any ‘hot’ words – words that trigger strong emotions, whether positive or negative. These are indicators of areas you should focus on keeping, or deleting, in your next life.
What are the big things you are grateful for that you want to keep? What do you want to let go of, that you no longer want in your life? And what are the big, new things you want instead?
Reflect on what you truly love and are passionate about welcoming into your life.
You can make a wish of any size: a sum of money, a new home, an offer to travel to an exotic location, or a promotion. Experimenting with different sizes of wishes can help you become more and more confident in your abilities.
To manifest successfully, your wish must be compelling. Your wish should light up your spirit, fill you with excitement and come alive in your mind’s eye when you visualise it.
The joy, happiness and excitement associated with the picture of the wish should be as great as for a small child eagerly waiting to unwrap their presents on Christmas Day.
How to start
If you are not sure about what your big wishes might be and just want to experiment, start by creating a little wish.
You could wish for a particular sum of money, a holiday, or an experience.
Here’s a good wish you can practise to prove your abilities to yourself: parking spaces. I always wish for a space, and invariably a car moves away just as I’m approaching.
Or I wish for an invitation for the weekend, and then someone rings. Occasionally, I wish for an amount of money I believe is achievable and it appears in my life in the strangest of ways.
I once sold some antiques at auction. The estimated sale price was around £200. I wished for £1,000 just for fun and, ultimately, I got £1,200. Sometimes, a cheque appears out of the blue.
This is the difference between manifesting and setting goals. The universe will surprise you with how it delivers.
The master question
Answer this (deceptively simple) Master Question: ‘What do you want?’ What is the first thing that comes to your mind? Write it down.
Here’s another way to ask the same question: ‘What if you could have whatever you want?’
When it comes to manifesting, ‘Why do I want this?’ is a much more important question than ‘How can I get it?’
How your wish will manifest is up to the universe. A strong why makes your wish compelling.
When I first began practising manifesting, I didn’t understand why all my wishes didn’t come true. Some wishes simply refused to manifest.
Now, when I look back on some of those old wishes, I realise I didn’t really want them at all.
I thought I wanted them, but my subconscious knew better. It realised that I wasn’t ready, because those wishes would have required me to change my life in ways I wasn’t prepared for. My reasons for changing weren’t as big or compelling as my reasons for not changing.
How your wish will manifest is up to the universe. A strong why makes your wish compelling
For your big wishes especially, reflect on why you want them. Then ask yourself: Which of these wishes are non-negotiable for you? Which wishes do you want even if they take a long time to manifest? Which would you want even if they change other aspects of your life?
These questions usually enable you to ditch some of your wishes and keep the important ones.
To successfully manifest, follow my seven steps. The first few are below and the remaining steps will be in tomorrow’s Mail on Sunday.
STEP ONE: Create your first wish
Write out the wishes you want to manifest. You can’t be too specific. Detail is key to success.
Check that you believe each of these wishes is possible for you. Make sure that you believe you have given each wish enough time to manifest. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. If something doesn’t ring true, change the wish or change the time frame.
Think about how your wishes align with your deepest potential. Your future needs to be compelling to manifest.
If you don’t really want it, you’re unlikely to get it.
STEP TWO: Manifest using your senses
In this exercise, you will make a compelling ‘mental video’ of your future, using four of your senses. To do this, picture your chosen wish as if it has already happened to you. See yourself living life as a different version of yourself.
What will it feel like to have this wish come true?
Let me give you an example. Imagine that I want to manifest a beautiful home in the country with animals and a garden, and I want this to be with family and friends.
I start by writing out a description of my new home, adding visual imagery, sounds, smells, physical sensations and finally emotions.
My house has five windows with white windowsills, stone walls, a front door that is painted red. At the front is a garden with plant beds on either side, filled with red and white roses. I can smell the flowers, and I can hear birds singing in the sky.
Next, I develop this picture into a specific moment.
What I can see: As I walk into the yellow living area, I can see my family and friends gathered there. They are sitting on big, blue velvet sofas. There is a marble bar area where champagne is being served because we are having a party to celebrate this new home.
What I can hear: Excited chatter and my favourite music in the background. My oldest child calls out my name and runs towards me. I can hear a sports car driving up outside.
What I can smell: The jasmine scent of the candles that are lit and the logs burning in the fireplace.
What I can touch: I feel the soft wool of my son’s sweater as I hug him. I pick up my champagne glass and it is cold and smooth in my grasp.
What I feel: As I touch my son’s sweater and look around the room I feel a sense of love surging inside my body. I can feel it in my chest. Finally, I hear myself shouting: ‘I love my new home!’
See if you can come up with a powerful word or phrase to end your visualisation with so it impresses deep into your subconscious. The stronger the images and emotions, the easier it is for your brain to create this future memory. But between making your wish and reaping the reward, time must pass, because we are in the world of time, space and matter.
There is now a gap between your present and your future. The gap is filled with real-life experiences.
You have to know that you can stick to the path: be certain that your wishes will manifest as you move along it.
STEP THREE: Begin your new life
Congratulations! Your new story has begun. As soon as you create a future memory, your life immediately begins the process of changing. The universe has already begun transforming your wishes into reality.
Right now, you may not be able to see much of the path towards your future life because it’s under construction. The important thing is to stay focused on your wish.
Luckily, you don’t have just your conscious mind to keep you on track; each time you programme a wish using the senses method, your subconscious resources also jump into action.
Remember that exercise I did using my senses and emotions to describe the house of my dreams? This process of marking experiences in our brains is what scientists call ‘emotional tagging’.
Your brain – specifically the amygdala – determines which experiences are important enough to be transferred into long-term memory. However, the less relevant parts of these experiences do not get transferred.
If a memory has occurred near an event which aroused strong emotions, it will become an enduring memory. Other memories are still retained, but more selectively.
The important thing is to stay focused on your wish
Your brain is equally capable of tagging future memories. When you attach strong feelings to a vision of the future, it signals to the brain that this is important and worth paying attention to.
The brain responds by helping you seek out experiences, cues and opportunities that are connected to that goal.
Your brain will also help you in another way. By adding a powerful feeling to your future memories when you visualised them, you enable your brain to release dopamine – a neurotransmitter that helps us feel pleasure – every time you think about your wish.
All this is important, because you need to keep revisiting your wish and truly believing it will come true.
The following exercise will help you programme your subconscious by flooding your future memories with positive feelings. First, think about what you wished for and deliberately amplify the feeling you have about it. Then imagine that wish being fulfilled, and imagine how you feel now.
Let this feeling into your body, and feel it growing stronger and stronger. If it helps, imagine a dial and turn the dial up to the max.
Each time you do this, your subconscious has more reason to help you to successfully manifest.
That’s not all: the more positive feelings you generate inside your body, the more you will attract positive experiences through the perfect force of the Law of Attraction.
Adapted from Manifest The Life You Love, by Carolyn Boyes (HQ £12.99), to be published on December 4.
© Carolyn Boyes 2025.
