The rule the Queen broke during Princess Diana’s funeral, according to body language expert

The Queen was a stickler for tradition, so much so that she broke this cardinal royal rule just once during her 70-year reign.

The Royal Family is so steeped in tradition and protocol that its members were taught royal etiquette by household staff from a young age.

The most important rule is to bow (or curtsey) to the monarch, in this case Queen Elizabeth II. The monarch bows to no one.

But on the day of Princess Diana‘s funeral on September 6, 1997, while standing with her family, the Queen bowed her head as the cortege passed.

The one woman who was accustomed to being bowed at by the world had suddenly and unexpectedly lowered her head and humbly honoured the princess.

It was not a quick one, nor was it shallow, but one done to recognise the wishes of her heartbroken subjects.

Body language expert Judi James told the Daily Mail: ‘In life, it was thought that Diana was trying to bring the royal house of Windsor crashing down.

‘But after her death, it looked more like the Queen herself who was taking the risks with the state of the monarchy, making this a form of a ‘draw’ between two powerful royal women.

‘As Diana’s hearse rattled past the Palace, there was the rather touching sight of the top-tier royals lined up outside to watch her pass by. 

‘It wasn’t a hollow gesture in the public’s eyes. Diana might have been dead, but her two sons were very much alive, and they got to see their mother elevated to the high position the adoring public held her in.

‘While some of the royals retained a poker face, with Margaret in particular raising one eyebrow and her chin in an expression that suggested some cynicism, the Queen’s facial expression looked like one of maternal sadness.

‘Her brows were puckered, her gaze reflective and her mouth clamped. 

‘For a monarch known for not having any fluctuations in her body language, this was already a surprise. But what she did next was even more shocking.

‘As the coffin passed, the Queen lowered her head. 

‘This gesture was and still is powerful for two key reasons. 

‘Firstly is to do with protocol and status. As monarch, the Queen was not expected to lower her head to virtually anyone. 

‘Head-lowering is an act of submission and respect. 

‘Animals perform bow rituals to higher-ranking animals to avoid being attacked and humans retain the gesture in what can range from a full bow or curtsey to a slight inclination of the head.

‘By bowing her head to Diana, the Queen was signalling respect and even a sense of equal status. 

‘It was as though she finally recognised that Diana should have been Queen one day and that her son would be king. 

‘The head-bowing probably registered respect for future king William as much as for Diana.

‘But the way the Queen bowed her head was also significant. 

‘It’s common for ordinary people to lower their head gently at a funeral procession but this wasn’t that kind of slow head-lowering. 

‘The Queen actually performed an emphatic hard nod here, faster and more meaningful. 

‘It was a very personal message from one woman to another and it seemed to be an acknowledgement ritual. 

‘Even in death Diana had forced the Queen into some form of royal U-Turn and it was as though the Queen was acknowledging an acceptance of Diana’s power and the love the public had for her.

‘It seemed to declare a non-verbal draw and an acceptance of equal status and respect.’

Italian writer Alberto Angela said the simple gesture marked one of the most powerful moves in the Queen’s reign at a time when the Royal Family faced significant pressure.

He said: ‘That bow is perhaps one of the strongest images in her entire reign.

‘Even in the darkest hour, Elizabeth put her mission first and demonstrated that she can find inspiration even from the most painful confrontation, the one with the woman who had won the hearts of her subjects.’

Although she bowed every year to the unknown soldier on Remembrance Day at the Cenotaph, her bow to Diana is understood to be the first time she had bowed to an individual during her time on the throne.

Although the Queen had rarely put a foot wrong during her 70-year reign, her response to Diana’s death the week before was one of the few episodes most experts now regard as a mistake. 

Judi commented: ‘When Diana died, the public’s grief was tangible, as though everyone was suffering a personal loss.

‘It was a moment of emotional unity, but it was also a moment of polarisation and division from the rest of the royal Firm. 

‘The late Queen resorted to her familiar fallback of protocol but this time her refusal to budge from the idea that this was a private event caused a rift with her subjects that was so huge that it at one point threatened to cause a rebellion.

‘Diana was the “People’s Princess” and the public claimed her as their own royal despite the way that she’d be discarded by the rest of the Firm.

‘Tensions grew and it was said to be Tony Blair who stepped in to persuade the Queen to relent and return to London and give Diana a full royal funeral.

‘When she returned with Diana’s adored two sons, there was a softening of public mood and even a sense of sympathy.’

Diana’s funeral, which saw Elton John perform a rewritten version of Candle in the Wind and Tony Blair reading a Bible verse, remains the most-watched live television event in the UK.

It attracted an average of 32.1million viewers on BBC One and ITV combined and no other broadcast has surpassed this figure in the UK.

In the years since her passing, Princes William and Harry have paid tribute to their beloved mother. 

William, who was 15 when the Princess of Wales died, said the loss of a parent ‘never leaves you’. 

‘You never get over it, it’s such an unbelievably big moment in your life that it never leaves you. You just learn to deal with it.’