FROM washboard abs to mind-blowing sex, it’s not hard to see the appeal of having a hot young toyboy on your arm.
So why does it so often end in tears? Say hello to the Cougar Curse, the newest scourge ripping through age-gap celeb pairings.
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Head judge Shirley Ballas, 64, recently revealed that she’s called time on her six year relationship with ex-fiancé Danny Taylor, 51, who is 13 years her junior – and she isn’t the only one.
Kerry Katona, Kelly Brook, Kym Marsh and Tamzin Outhwaite have all had toyboy romances that haven’t worked out, either.
But while many assume that a sizzling sex life must keep the spark alive, many factors, such as stage-of life differences, embarrassment about public scrutiny and younger men’s lack of emotional intelligence, could be the reason age-gap relationships are sometimes a recipe for disaster.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Gemma Logan, wedding and relationship expert at The Foxy Hen, has revealed exactly why toyboys don’t seem to stand the test of time.
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“Celebrity toyboy relationships rarely last because they start with intensity but face challenges: life-stage differences, public scrutiny, energy mismatches, and emotional gaps,” she says.
“The short-lived nature of these romances often comes down to human psychology, social pressures, and the realities of life beyond the glitz.”
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The ‘Cougar Curse’
Relationship expert Gemma explains how there’s a cultural lens at play when it comes to age-gap relationships.
“Society often scrutinises older women dating younger men more harshly than the reverse,” she explains.
“This pressure can seep into the relationship, causing self-doubt or defensive behaviours.”
She goes on to say how celebrities like Shirley Ballas face commentary on looks, age, and motives, which can add stress.
Public backlash
One celebrity who faced a backlash after going public with her 19 year age-gap relationship is actress Kym Marsh, 49.
In July last year, the former Hear’Say singer found love with Samuel Thomas while working on 101 Dalmatians: The Musical.
Despite calling him her “soulmate,” the 19-year age gap caused quite the stir and divided fans, with Kym forced to defend their romance after being targeted by trolls.
One social media user wrote: “Jesus, another amazing man. Five minute wonder. He looks like your son.”
Hitting back, Kym, who split with Samuel after six months, told them to “do one”, adding: “It’s time to grow up and get on with your own life instead of giving hate to someone else’s life.”
In response to another negative comment, Kym retaliated: “I wonder what’s missing from your life that you need to comment on others. Sad really.”
Explaining how it can take its toll on any relationship, Gemma says: “Constant public judgment is exhausting, and even a supportive partner may struggle to cope with the attention, leading to a breakdown over time.”
Emotional compatibility vs physical attraction
According to Gemma, one of the most overlooked reasons these relationships fizzle is emotional compatibility – something which Kerry Katona has recently spoken about.
The former Atomic Kitten singer, who split with her fiancé Ryan Mahoney after six years together following a “breach of trust,” recently spoke out about her heartache on E4‘s Celebs Go Dating.
Speaking to relationship guru Anna Williamson and sexpert Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, the mum-of-five, 44, who got engaged to Ryan – eight years her junior – in 2020, claimed he “wasn’t there for me emotionally”.
A toyboy may be exciting at first, but if he isn’t ready to navigate a serious partnership, cracks appear
Gemma Logan
She said: “We were arguing quite a lot because he wasn’t there for me emotionally and that used to get to me.
“It’s the little things, just the little things that I want – I don’t want diamond rings.
“So I kicked off, ‘That’s it, we’re done’, and he said, ‘Look, I just don’t know if I love you anymore.”
Kerry, who has since found love with Paolo Margaglione, who she met on Celebs Go Dating and is 11 years her junior, continued: “He said to me he doesn’t think he loves me anymore, he doesn’t know what he wants.
“I was devastated.”
Gemma goes on to say that these “Cursed Cougars” may be looking for passion and energy, which a younger partner can provide in abundance.
However, she warns that long-term relationships rely on “emotional maturity, conflict resolution skills, and shared values”.
She explains: “A toyboy may be exciting at first, but if he isn’t ready to navigate the complexities of a serious partnership, cracks appear.
“Relationships like that of Kerry Katona often start with fireworks but can’t sustain the deeper connection needed for longevity.”
Timing Is everything
Gemma points out that even the strongest attraction can be undermined by timing.
“Many celebrities enter relationships with toyboys at a point when they are seeking reinvention, affirmation, or simply a boost of energy in their lives,” she explains.
“Younger partners, meanwhile, may be at a stage of exploring freedom, careers, or social identity.”
It seems this may have been the case for Shirley, who told how Danny, a trained ballroom dancer who she met in panto in 2018, came into her life at a critical time.
Along the line, there were red flags that I chose to ignore, but it just got to a point where the relationship was becoming too difficult for me in many ways
Shirley Ballas
Speaking to The Mirror, she said: “There was no question about how much I loved that man.
“And he came into my life at a point when I really, really needed it and he was such a caring person.
“But what’s the nicest way to say this?
“Along the line, there were red flags that I chose to ignore, but it just got to a point where the relationship was becoming too difficult for me in many ways.”
Gemma notes: “When life goals don’t align, the relationship can feel more like a fun distraction than a lasting partnership.”
Physical and lifestyle energy differences
Gemma goes on to say that while younger men often bring vitality and fun, over time, differences in energy levels, lifestyle preferences, and social habits can become noticeable.
“Celebrities might want stability, downtime, or family-focused routines that a younger partner isn’t ready for,” she says.
“Small daily mismatches, like late nights, travel demands, or social priorities, can escalate into larger conflicts.”
This may well have been the case for Shirley, who revealed that she didn’t see herself and Danny “growing in the same direction”.
She told The Mirror: “I don’t think I’ll ever have another relationship, but if I did, it would have to be with somebody that was much more calm and saw us growing in the same direction.
“But that doesn’t mean that those six years I had with Danny, I didn’t adore him. I just didn’t really have a choice.
“I think my ‘toyboy’ days are behind me. I reckon anything from 55 to 70 if they’re fit.”
A-list age gap relationships that have stood the test of time
- Kris Jenner & Corey Gamble – 25 years
The Kardashian matriarch, 69, met her younger man, 44, at a mutual friend’s 40th birthday party in Ibiza. They’ve been together since August 2014. - Sam & Aaron Taylor-Johnson – 23 years
The director, 57, and actor, 34, reportedly met at a film audition in 2009, and were married by 2012. The pair share two daughters and Sam has two children from a previous marriage. - Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley & Jason Statham – 20 years
The model, 37, started dating actor Jason, 57, in 2010. They were wed in 2016 and have since welcomed a son and a daughter together. - Catherine Zeta-Jones & Michael Douglas – 25 years
Catherine, 55, was introduced to Michael, 80, a film festival in 1996 and engaged three years later. Shortly after their engagement, the couple welcomed a son and married in 2000.
Tamzin Outhwaite, 54, and Tom Child, 33, who was 20 years her junior, also split with the actress saying: ”I don’t want to share a bed.”
Despite saying how she felt “sexier than ever” with her then-boyfriend, who she met at a yoga class in 2017, she told Hello! Magazine that after six years together, she is now ready to be on her own.
She added: “He’s still one of my best friends, and I adore him. But I had to say: ”I don’t want to share a bed. I’m in a phase where I need to be on my own’.”
Infatuation vs long-term love
Relationship guru Gemma explains how many toyboy relationships begin with infatuation, amplified by celebrity glamour.
“Initial chemistry can be intense, but infatuation is not a sustainable foundation,” she says.
Kelly Brook‘s high-profile romance with former Wasps rugby ace Danny Cipriani, who was eight years her junior, could be a case in point.
After meeting in September 2008 – just weeks after the end of her four-year relationship with Hollywood actor Billy Zane – it didn’t take long for sparks to fly between the couple.
Initial chemistry can be intense, but infatuation is not a sustainable foundation
Gemma Logan
Speaking to The Times in 2010, Kelly said: “It’s a nice ego boost that someone in their 20s is attracted to you when you’re 30.
“You hit 30 and you’re like, ‘Oh, I’ve got a nice young toyboy!’ It’s fabulous.”
She also spoke very candidly about their sex life, telling The Mirror: “I make sure he is still interested by giving him really good sex.
“It’s very important, I put it down to that.”
Gemma explains that long-term love “requires patience, compromise, and acceptance of each other’s flaws”.
She continues: “When the novelty fades, the relationship either evolves or collapses.
“Passion alone couldn’t overcome deeper emotional and practical mismatches.”
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