The cost of a basic funeral has hit an all-time high of £4,285, and families end up paying more than twice that on average, once additional costs such as the wake and flowers are included. But not my family. I’ve planned my own send off – and it’ll be cheap as chips.
I’m only 42 years old and in good health. But I have attended more than my fair share of funerals and planned a couple, too, which made me realise that I didn’t want some extravagant funeral that comes just about as close as you can get to simply burning money.
My funeral will involve a cardboard coffin, no mourners and a budget-friendly do of tea and cake somewhere with a nice view.
It began with my sister Emma’s funeral 13 years ago. I’m the youngest of three sisters and her death at the age of 34 was a shock, and she had never discussed her wishes.
My family second-guessed every detail, worried we’d get it wrong and ended up spending more than she probably would have wanted.
In contrast, my grandma was totally on top of her own funeral prep. She had a folder where she’d stashed other people’s orders of service, marking the bits she liked and wanted to borrow for her own send-off.
Ruth Jackson-Kirby with her sister Emma, who died 13 years ago at the age of 34
Hymns, readings, coffin choice – it was all in there. She showed it to me years before she died and said: ‘You’re in charge. Here’s everything you need to know.’ Turns out she told a few people that, always one to hedge her bets.
After her funeral in 2023 I sat down and wrote a rough outline of what I wanted, starting with a direct cremation. In my experience, crematoriums are awful places, and I do not want my final send-off to be some costly, soulless ceremony hosted there.
A direct cremation avoids all the bits I don’t like and saves a fortune in the process. The undertaker simply drops your body off at the crematorium and your family arrange to collect your ashes at a later date. There are no flowers (saving £222), no limo hire (£431), and no overpriced coffin (saving up to £800).
Funeral costs have rocketed by 134 per cent over the past two decades, according to SunLife’s 2025 Cost of Dying Report. It has created an awful situation where one in seven people simply can’t afford to die. Direct cremation lowers the cost a bit.
A direct cremation costs £1,597 – considerably less than a standard cremation, which costs £3,980, or a burial at £5,198. Perfect. That should save thousands, leaving plenty for a decent send-off in the nearest pub instead.
I’m not alone in shunning the trappings of a traditional funeral. Burials have been in decline for decades with just a quarter of us opting for one.
In contrast, 20 per cent had a direct cremation in 2024, up from 3 per cent only five years earlier.
If you want to cut the costs of a funeral, take a look at how much you’re paying for catering and the coffin. In a survey by SunLife, 91 per cent of funeral directors said those are the key areas where we spend more than we need to.
You can slash your costs by opting for a £200 cardboard coffin over an £800 top-of-the-range option. Or a willow coffin costs around £400. I’m happy with cardboard: no one’s going to see it and I won’t be in it for long.
Also, consider the flowers you want. This is a common area for overspending, according to funeral directors. One decent floral arrangement is all you need – it’s not the Chelsea Flower Show. Simply ask for whatever’s in season.
I’m only 42 years old and in good health. But I have attended more than my fair share of funerals and planned a couple, too, writes Ruth
All this consideration and cost-cutting will come to nothing, though, if you don’t share your plans with your family. With a price difference of several thousand pounds, a quick conversation can save a lot of money and agonising.
Funeral directors tell tales of people forced to fork out for funerals they can’t afford because other family members insist on it. So make sure that your family know what you want – and put it in writing to avoid arguments.
My husband Andrew and my mother both have letters to open when I die. Inside they detail the simple send-off I would like and make it very clear that a direct cremation with a separate thanksgiving service is my final wish.
Neither were surprised to receive them. I’m a notorious planner and organise most family events, so presenting them with a guide to my own funeral is par for the course.
When the day comes my funeral won’t rival the Pope’s – no mourners, probably no dignitaries (you never know) and a cardboard coffin – but it will be very good value.
