Ore Oduba had the world at his feet after he waltzed away with the Strictly Come Dancing glitterball trophy in the most-watched final in the programme’s history.
More than 13 million viewers were enthralled by Oduba’s showmanship qualities, along with his easy charm, as he swept to glory with dance partner Joanne Clifton in 2016.
Oduba, 39, had, until that point, been best known as a children’s TV presenter.
His Strictly success would be the launching pad for a wide-ranging career spanning TV and radio presenting, acting and as a performer in West End shows.
The happily married father-of-two seemed to have it all. Yet, after being thrust into the spotlight, not all was rosy behind the scenes.
Oduba has opened up about how he struggled with family life during lockdown and last October announced his nine-year marriage to TV researcher wife Portia, 35, had come to an end.
In recent times he has spoken of his secret turmoil and how his life began spiralling out of control, his battles with addiction and how he had plunged into despair after he ‘lost his faith’.
Oduba has gone on to reveal that it was the devastating suicide of his sister Lola, 37, which changed his whole outlook on life.
More than 13 million viewers were enthralled by Oduba’s showmanship qualities on Strictly
He said his painful loss after Lola’s death in April made him determined to ‘make the most of every single second’ and inspired him to turn his life around.
Lola was the youngest of four siblings born to Nigerian parents and brought up in Wimborne Minster, Dorset.
Oduba has an older brother Tolu, 40 and sister Temi, 45 who is a successful businesswoman.
Their father was a wealthy lawyer who lives in Nigeria while their mother Fola, 78, helped set up a local branch of the church she belongs to – The Redeemed Christian Church of God – before moving to London in more recent times.
Lola, a former Guardian journalist and trained chef who once appeared on an episode of Come Dine with Me, had also been battling personal demons when tragedy struck.
Oduba told how Lola – who was also a talented performer as a stand up comic and singer – had revealed in a heartbreaking farewell letter that they had begun to ‘identify as non-binary’ following a period of troubles.
Lola’s death touched the lives of many people with one group of friends organising a memorial walk before planting a tree as a tribute.
A funeral at Honor Oak Crematorium in south east London, was turned into a celebration of Lola’s life with mourners encouraged to dress in colourful outfits.
Paying tribute ahead of the ceremony, friends from a vocal improvisation collective which Lola was a member of wrote: ‘Lola was full of passion, creativity and so much presence.
‘They were curious and interested both in the world and exploring the best version of themselves through being brave and singing their essence.
Ore and ex-wife Portia Oduba attend London Fashion Week in 2019 – they were married for nine years before splitting
‘Some of us had the pleasure of singing with Lola in London and Southampton last year and I’m sure many of us remember their shiny smile and powerful, generous voice and spirit.’
But they added: ‘Lola’s family have shared that Lola also spent many years struggling to understand who they were and why they were, and in the last five years or so, compounded by a number of difficult life events, battled daily with emotional, psychological and in the end a lot of physical turmoil.
‘Ultimately, Lola decided they were unable to fight those daily battles anymore and chose to find a peace in death.
‘Lola’s family have shared that they would like to share their truth and to let people know who they were – in life and in death. The more we say their name, the more they may live through us.’
Paying his own tribute last month Oduba said: ‘I wasn’t prepared to lose my sister.
‘She has been with me every day since. My sister is non-binary, they told us in their goodbye letter. They’ve been with me every day since and what my sister did in choosing to find a peace in death that they couldn’t find in life; that was strength. That was courage and that was brave.’
He continued: ‘And having gone through the last four or five years of their life and hearing about their struggles physically and emotionally when actually my sister did more living in the actual five years of their life than the previous 32, and still made a decision that they couldn’t carry on living in this world.
‘What they did for all of us in those last weeks, that has given me the strength every day and my responsibility now is to carry that legacy because nothing is hard compared to what my sister went through.’
Speaking of how Lola’s death had changed his perspective on life, Oduba added: ‘We don’t know when our last day is and the truth of it is there isn’t time, there isn’t time, so I’m going to make the most of every single second I have left.
‘I can’t say enough when you have been through something that puts life into perspective – your whole outlook changes.
‘None of this stuff matters but you can wrestle what is really important back before it is too late, so that is what I’m doing now.’
Ore Oduba had the world at his feet after he waltzed away with the Strictly Come Dancing glitterball trophy in the most-watched final in the programme’s history
Oduba previously revealed his late sister Lola identified as non-binary, using they/them pronouns, in the ‘latter years’ of their life, which ended in April
On Instagram, Ore – who split from wife Portia in October – addressed the life and death of his sibling and the meaning of the rainbow flag in his bio
Oduba paid a further tribute to Lola in his most recent social media post in August when he posted images of himself in a pair of white swimming trunks with a rainbow motif and the word ‘Pride’ written on the back.
The TV presenter wrote in his lengthy Instagram post: ‘Lots of people have been asking about the rainbow in my bio.. Some will say I don’t need to explain myself (and they’d be right) however in this case I’m happy to share my why. It’s maybe not why you think.
‘I’ve mentioned before about the longer you can withstand a storm the closer you are to your rainbow.
‘I’m so glad to have grown monumentally through a truly difficult, stormy period in my life.. the colours of my rainbow look very bright today.’
He added: ‘In losing my sister in April the symbol of a rainbow has brought me closer to them in the times I’ve needed it desperately.
‘My sister was very proudly black and very proudly queer. Definitely an ICON to me and so many of their friends and family. In the last year of their life they identified as non-binary. My pride for them knows no bounds.
‘Despite doing a whole lot of living in their latter years, my sister spent much of their life in shame and humiliation of who they were.
‘In so many ways, my sister’s death gave ME a gift of life.
‘Having realised I’d lived the majority of my life for the attention of others, often suppressing my authentic self, my sister gave me the wake up call to live my life fully and express myself wholeheartedly.’
Addressing his own sexuality Oduba said: ‘So am I gay, as someone keenly asked me on Instagram yesterday. No, not in the traditional or sexual sense.’
But he said he was ‘shedding a former self to put forward the new, truest version of me, without the shame, the hiding, without the second-guessing whether any decision will make me happy rather than how others perceive me’.
He went on to credit Lola for teaching him how to live his authentic self without judgement.
Ore and Portia, who share two young children Roman, seven, and Genie, four, wed in 2015 – five years after they met at Loughborough university in 2010
He said: ‘My sister taught me so much about the queer community.
‘About how feeling like the outsider, of difference of feeling othered and misunderstood, it was the one place they truly felt belonging.
‘I understand that now. I miss you so much Lola but how lucky I am to feel you with me, guiding me every day.’
In July, Oduba revealed how he had been undergoing therapy and said he had ‘suffered from addiction pretty much my entire life’.
He said he had lived with it ‘silently, secretly for decades’ but had been ‘sober’ for more than a year.
His life certainly appears to have gone in a different direction from wife Portia since the couple announced their nine-year marriage was over last October.
The couple met in 2010 while studying at Loughborough University. They went to tie the knot five years later at a church in a village outside Portia’s hometown of Tunbridge Wells, Kent.
Oduba’s Strictly success came the following year and the couple went on to have two children – son Roman, seven, and daughter Genie, three.
Opening up about the split in August he told how he had been through ‘a really difficult year’ saying: ‘There was a big family change, my wife and I split up 12 months ago and the life before that and the life that I’ve grown into are just completely – they are entirely different.
‘There are no similarities whatsoever other than me in body and I guess I found myself going “I have to find a way out of this” and it was definitely painful, it was definitely confusing.
He added: ‘My life was going up in smoke before my very eyes and I didn’t know what to do.’
The couple sold their £935,000 modern five bedroomed semi-detached home in Tonbridge as they went their separate ways.
While Oduba has been opening up about the profound changes in his life it appears Portia – whose father Nick ‘Animal’ Culmer is the singer in punk rock band Anti-Nowhere League – has been getting on with the everyday tasks of life as a single mother.
In one of her most recent postings Portia spoke about enduring a stressful week with the start of the new school year while Genie had been struck down with tonsillitis.
After cracking open a bottle of £13.99 Aldi champagne she said: ‘What I’m going through is one of the most stressful things that you can ever go through – doing the daily grind, looking after the kids and being present.
‘It just feels sometimes like you are constantly treading water and sometimes I just feel like “Oh My God. I can’t do this any more. I’m done”. It gets you down a bit. I genuinely am a positive person but…’
She added: ‘I’m not the first – won’t be the last. So many lovely people message me to share their stories and tell me what they are going through.’
And reassuring her 50,000 followers Portia said: ‘I’m doing OK. I’m doing alright.’
Portia has also spoken how family including sister Oona, 33, and mother Sophie, 60, have been a great support.
Speaking of Oduba at the family’s £1.7million home in Tunbridge Wells, Sophie told the Daily Mail: ‘He can go off and find his true self so far as we are concerned.’
She declined to go into detail about her daughter’s struggles adding: ‘It’s a wall of silence on our part – a dignified one.’
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