ANY idea what’s going to be in the Budget next week? Other than the fact that, one way or another, you’re going to get well and truly shafted?
Nope, me neither. And nor has anybody else. Not the political commentators or the economists. Probably not even Mystic Meg.
One minute the Chancellor, Rachel “averagely good at chess” Reeves, says she is going to honour the manifesto commitment not to raise income tax.
Then, for a period of two weeks, Labour let it be known that this is EXACTLY what she was going to do, because she didn’t have any choice.
Now we’re hearing that a rise in income tax has been completely ruled out.
So what else might happen?
If she’s not going to raise income tax where’s the money going to come from?
Will it be a mansion tax? On people sensible enough to have bought nice homes? Will it be a tax on travel? Or on petrol? Will she mess around with council tax, or clobber the pensioners? How about inheritance tax, corporate taxes?
Hasn’t a Scooby
It’s like a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Played blindfolded in a lunatic asylum. And your guess is as good as mine.
The only thing we kind of know for sure is that there isn’t going to be a cut to our humungous welfare bill.
That, of course, is the one thing she SHOULD do. But she won’t. But we’ll come back to that.
Anyway, it would all be OK if the Chancellor was simply keeping her cards close to her chest. If she had it all planned out in that strange rectangular head of hers.
But she hasn’t. The reason nobody knows what’s going to be in the Budget is that SHE hasn’t got a bleedin’ Scooby either.
She is still trying to sort it out.
And she hasn’t decided. She doesn’t know which way to turn. And the reasons for that are pretty straightforward.
Not what’s good for the economy. Not what’s best for the working people of Britain. Just what’s going to cause the fewest short-term problems for her and her benighted boss, Sir Keir Starmer
Rod on Reeves
First, she doesn’t want to annoy her backbenchers. So that rules out welfare reform.
Second, she doesn’t want to hack off voters. So that rules out income tax rises. In other words, this crucial Budget, about the economic future for our country, will be decided by the equation of who Rachel Reeves thinks it’s easiest to p*** off.
Not what’s good for the economy. Not what’s best for the working people of Britain. Just what’s going to cause the fewest short-term problems for her and her benighted boss, Sir Keir Starmer. And keep them both in power for another year.
Now, I think that’s a disgraceful way to run the country. And yet it is what has happened under this government every day since July 2024.
Decisions keep being taken not because they will improve the economy or reward the hardworking. But because Sir Keir and Rachel are scared stiff of the lefties and Blairites on the Labour backbenches.
Scared stiff of the opinion polls. And so they don’t do what they SHOULD do. Because they have no spine, no sense of principle, no conviction.
The most glaring example of this was the Chancellor’s plans to cut billions off our welfare bill.
This financial year we are expected to pay £316billion in welfare payments, which amounts to almost a quarter of the country’s income.
Most of it goes on working-age people and those off work sick. Reeves originally intended to make inroads into that huge expenditure.
She planned £15billion savings, particularly in sickness and disability payments.
But her backbenchers threw a strop. They claimed that such a move would “push children into poverty”.
But it would only do that if their parents didn’t take the hint and went out to work.
Instead of sitting at home watching Cash In The Attic and telling anyone who asked that they were “anxious” or too depressed to work.
So, in the end, she decided to bin the cuts. The backbenchers cheered and the economy went even deeper into debt. And left her in the position she is in now. Broke, teetering towards bankruptcy.
Or look at her disastrous autumn Budget last year. Having pledged her No1 priority was economic growth, she did the one thing BOUND to stifle growth, whack up National Insurance payments for small and medium businesses.
And she did that because, once again, it was the only way of raising money she could think of without infuriating her own party or key voters.
The result was that economic growth, which had been buoyant, ground to a halt and refused to move upwards. It hasn’t got any better recently.
Caves in
And that’s been the story of this Government. It never takes decisions for the right reasons. It takes decisions based upon expediency. And when threatened, the Government caves in.
That’s what happened over Winter Fuel Payments for pensioners, for example.
A drifting ship without any hand on the tiller. And heading rapidly towards the rocks
Rod
Then again, the Government decided not to have a national inquiry into the Asian child rape gangs. Why? Because it would annoy Muslim voters.
And a lot of Labour seats depend upon Muslim voters.
Then there was another U-turn. And we were left with a shabby inquiry gerrymandered to prevent the full truth coming out. Every time, decisions taken for the wrong reasons. And because of that, every time it turns into a disaster.
It SHOULD have been very different. Sir Keir was elected with a majority of 174.
They could have done anything they wanted. They could have raised taxes, cut taxes, abolished stamp duty, they could have nationalised my scrotum.
But this has always been a government devoid of conviction, devoid of belief, devoid of principle and devoid of real leadership.
Starmer and Reeves do not LEAD, they just flounder, gormlessly — react, badly — to things that happen.
And it is a government which has been beset by crises which are entirely of their own making.
A drifting ship without any hand on the tiller. And heading rapidly towards the rocks.
Best 90-minute drama on TV
JUST watched the best 90-minute drama ever shown on TV.
Yes, it was Greece versus Scotland. I almost fell off my chair laughing.
Goalkeeping howlers, hopeless defending, a player sent off – and, of course, a brave and heroic Scotland comeback which ended, as ever, in abject failure.
Bless ’em. I don’t know any other team that makes it as difficult for itself as Scotland.
Still laughing, I commiserated with my mate, the great Ally Ross – TV critic of this parish and fanatical Tartan Army follower.
He said: “Heading up to Hampden on Tuesday in the sure and certain knowledge Denmark will go through. And if I had to bet my life on it, I’d suggest we’ll be leading 2-1 deep into injury time when the inevitable happens. Seen it so many times.”
Yup, nailed it as ever, Ally.
And I’ll be watching. Hampden Park – The Theatre of Perpetually Buggered Dreams.
Go on you Scots, win – and have the last laugh.
Radical asylum law reform
IF there is one bright spark in this government, it’s Shabana Mahmood, the Home Secretary.
Today she’s unveiling plans to radically reform our asylum laws.
Judges must prioritise public safety and public interest over the rights of an asylum seeker.
Only a fundamental change of our laws will address the catastrophic refugee crisis. And Shabana is on the right track.
Never mind Wes Streeting, wouldn’t Mahmood make a better Labour leader?
