To all those mourning the demise of the Duchess of Sussex’s Netflix series With Love, Meghan – fear not!
For the modest sum of £1,400 per person (plus the cost of a flight to Australia) you can recreate the unique joy of that event by signing up for a ‘girls’ weekend like no other’, a three-day retreat in Sydney organised by the creators of Her Best Life podcast at which the Duchess will take part in a ‘fireside chat’ Q&A.
Promising an ‘unforgettable weekend for women ready to reconnect, recharge and have some serious fun’ (nothing like the prospect of ‘serious fun’ to make the heart sink), a select few prepared to stump up £1,700 for ‘VIP’ tickets will have a front-row seat for this momentous occasion, as well as a chance to be in a group photo with the Duchess and take home a goodie bag possibly containing – gasp – Meghan’s famous jam and flower-sprinkles.
Not for the first time I find myself mourning the passing of the great Dame Edna Everage. As Australia’s most iconic and incisive interviewer, who knows what nuggets of wisdom she might have enticed from the Duchess’s fair lips had she been engaged to lead the conversation.
After all, Dame Edna was on close personal terms with many members of the British Royal family, having often reminisced about her friendship with the late Queen (‘Some nights, the little corgis and the Sovereign, wearing a somewhat stained brunch coat, would visit’) and her even more intimate relationship with Charles himself, which she ascribed to his Highness’s deep appreciation of the more ‘mature’ woman.
Alas, Dame Edna is no longer, and neither is the great Mrs Merton. ‘So, Duchess,’ the latter might have inquired in those soothing North-Western vowels of hers: ‘What was it that first attracted you to the son of the future King?’
Instead, the interview is slated to be conducted by the podcast’s co-founder Gemma O’Neill, who describes herself as ‘just a mum from Sydney with a podcast that started as a passion for those trying to live their best lives’. The humility is touching.
For the modest sum of £1,400 per person (plus the cost of a flight to Australia), you can join Meghan on a three-day retreat in Sydney, complete with a ‘fireside chat’ Q&A
The Q&A is slated to be conducted by the Her Best Life podcast’s co-founder Gemma O’Neill… however, yesterday it transpired that her ‘talent management’ business, Gemmie Agency, had collapsed owing over half a million Australian dollars (more than £250,000)
Indeed, when O’Neill was initially approached by the Duchess’s long-time fixer, Markus Anderson (who famously organised that first date with Prince Harry at Soho House back in 2016), she was unsure whether to accept because, as she puts it: ‘I felt like I didn’t deserve her.’
I dare say there are some members of the Royal Family who feel similarly about the Duchess, although perhaps for rather different reasons. Either way, having overcome her misgivings, O’Neill gave in, saying: ‘She’s risen above everything and I have so much respect for that.’
But now it seems O’Neill may have her own struggles to overcome, as yesterday it transpired that her ‘talent management’ business, Gemmie Agency, had collapsed owing more than half a million Australian dollars (more than £250,000), most of it to the taxman.
O’Neill says she cannot pay her debts due to a lack of savings and her ‘limited income’.
Oh dear. The best-laid plans of mice and Meghan, eh? Personally, with or without the Duchess’s gracious presence, I can’t think of anything worse than spending three days inhaling the scent of fake tan and HRT while being instructed on how to clear my yoni or take part in a ‘sound healing’ experience or whatever new wellness fad is trending on TikTok.
It’s not that I object to a bit of Pilates or yoga; it’s just that if I’m going to take time out to spend a weekend with other women it’s not going to be some random group whose only commonality is the ability to spend thousands on woo-woo but my own actual friends, whose company I can enjoy for free.
When O’Neill was initially approached by the Duchess’s long-time fixer, Markus Anderson, she was unsure whether to accept
Personally, with or without the Duchess’s gracious presence, I can’t think of anything worse than spending three days inhaling the scent of fake tan and HRT while being instructed on how to clear my yoni or take part in a ‘sound healing’ experience, writes Sarah Vine
I’m always amazed at how many women fall for this stuff. I’m often urged – sometimes by people who should really know me better by now – to take part in this or that ‘retreat’, inevitably at vast expense in some inconvenient location where some smug hippie (usually some retired acid casualty with a threadbare ponytail who’s clocked that there is more money to be made selling snake oil than there is from actually working) wangs on about the importance of gut biome and kombucha infusions while secretly sneaking off for a quick vape in between Himalayan nose-flute workshops.
As to sisterly support, it’s always just a bit more White Lotus than you anticipate. If you think men can be a bit competitive, you’ve clearly never been to an all-woman hot yoga class. Put it this way, most women would rather dislocate a hip than admit they can’t keep up (and have done).
In recent years this stuff has migrated online, spawning an army of unregulated ‘wellness influencers’ who’ll promote anything for the right price.
The vast majority are, like most influencers, peddling fake lifestyles to gullible – and often rather vulnerable – punters.
Events like this one in Sydney are an opportunity to further monetise the insecurities of women fuelled by a culture of vanity, in this case dressed up as ‘health and wellbeing’.
Truth is, the only people this stuff benefits are the ones taking down your credit card details – and the only person who can heal you (assuming you need healing in the first place) is you. After all, wellness begins at home, not at the box office.
