Emmerdale‘s Jaye Griffiths broke down in floods of tears as she recounted her experience with domestic abuse on Thursday’s Loose Women.
The actress, 62, who took on the role of villain and farmer Celia Daniels on the soap earlier this year, previously spent five years in an abusive relationship that saw her partner ‘beat’ and ‘gaslight’ her.
Last month she admitted she was left ‘exhausted’ by ‘lying’ to those around her about what had been going on.
During a hugely emotional interview on the ITV daytime show on Thursday she powerfully spoke about how it was a revelation to her that she can now make her own decisions in her life even about the most basic of things.
Visibly shaking, she said: ‘When I am choosing between having tea or coffee that is fine because there will be no consequences to my actions. If I choose tea the world won’t collapse.
‘Those small decisions you can finally make for yourself… because you’ve never done that before, all you’ve ever done is try to keep the peace your entire life.
Emmerdale’s Jaye Griffiths broke down in floods of tears as she recounted her experience with domestic abuse on Thursday’s Loose Women
The actress, 62, who took on the role of villain and farmer Celia Daniels on the soap earlier this year, previously spent five years in an abusive relationship that saw her partner ‘beat’ and ‘gaslight’ her
‘And suddenly you are back and alone and you can do things. You can have little victories.
‘I never knew what would set it off and what not to do. If you made the tea the wrong way then that could have consequences, if you put the milk back in the wrong place…
‘And then you get your own fridge and it doesn’t matter where you put the milk. My boundaries are now so concrete. And people around you will help you, they don’t want you to be in the nightmare that you are in.’
Loose Women panelists Kaye Adams and Frankie Bridge were quick to comfort her on the show.
Last month she opened up on feeling ‘ashamed’ to talk about what was going on at home, which led her to ‘disappearing’ from public life.
Recently Jaye’s Emmerdale character was exposed as being behind the drugs gang that has been terrorising the village.
And Celia has not shied away from showing her cruel side, even violently hitting teenager April Windsor, played by Amelia Flanagan, and threatening her life.
But while playing the villain, Jaye has had to grapple with her emotions from her past experiences away from the show, which saw her abused and controlled by a former partner.
During a hugely emotional interview on the ITV daytime show on Thursday she powerfully spoke about how it was a revelation to her that she can now make her own decisions in her life
She said: ‘I never knew what would set it off and what not to do. If you made the tea the wrong way then that could have consequences, if you put the milk back in the wrong place…’
People watching Loose Women at home were quick to praise her bravery
Last month she opened up on feeling ‘ashamed’ to talk about what was going on at home, which led her to ‘disappearing’ from public life
She told Kaye Adams’ How To Be 60 podcast: ‘I couldn’t tell anybody because I was so ashamed. I disappeared for about five years.
‘You would now use the term gaslight – but I couldn’t make a decision, I didn’t know if what I thought was real was real, because he would constantly tell me I was wrong and the day after he hit me, I would get jewellery.’
Explaining how far the horrifying abuse went, Jaye said: ‘If I put the heating on in the house there could be consequences to that, ‘you f***ing waste my money’, so, I wouldn’t put it on.
‘If I didn’t put it on and the house was cold, there’d be consequences to that, so you live in a world of, ‘What should I do? what’s for the best?”
Jaye continued: ‘I lived in this twilight existence and I had to start again.
‘I had to find out that someone walking behind you didn’t mean you were going to get clobbered, that people sometimes said truthful things.
‘But that took a very long time. When I finally went to the police they said on average a woman is hit 37 times before she tells anyone. All I did was lie – ‘No, I’m fine thanks, I’m fine’, and that’s exhausting.’
Jaye, who has also starred in Casualty, Doctor Who and Silent Witness, started rebuilding her life when the relationship ended.
‘You start with little things. I like tea, but no milk, I like coffee black, I do not like bread. I am allowed to change my mind and I’m going to have a sandwich. I want a herbal tea, because I can,’ she revealed.
‘Those small choices are your foundation, because you can decide without consequence, and then time passes and you get stronger.
‘I look back now and I think: f***. People say to me: ‘Why didn’t you just leave?’ and I want to stab them in the eye and go: ‘Where? And tell who? And do what?”
Jaye has since been happily married and living in Hertfordshire with her partner of over two decades, but admitted it took ‘years’ for her to open up again.
The actress joined Emmerdale earlier this year as the fearsome Celia, who in a recent episode was revealed to be behind a drug dealing gang.
Speaking about the role before joining the soap in June, Jaye said: ‘I was delighted to get this role – without giving the game away she is very different to anyone I have played before and I can’t wait to really get into the heart of her storyline.’
She told Kaye Adams’ How To Be 60 podcast: ‘I couldn’t tell anybody because I was so ashamed. I disappeared for about five years…’
Jaye is no stranger to the industry and has appeared in various TV shows over the years.
The star played Sally Johnson in The Bill between 1993 and 2003, Sheena Whitehead in Casualty and Lilly Morton in Holby City.
She also landed the role as Professor Janet Mander in Silent Witness between 2008 and 2012.
Jay has also played Helen Marlowe in Criminal Justice and Nicola Taybarn QC in Coronation Street.
More recently, she played Jac in Doctober Who in 2015, as well as Helen Stritch in EastEnders, and Hannah Ware in Holby City the same year.
The telly favourite also played Ella Gardner in Casualty between 2016 and 2019.
More recently she played DI Karen Flitcroft in Death In Paradise, Ms Eira in Vikingskool and Marti Kapp in Vera.
