It’s now been a month. I still can’t believe it.
My fractures on my body have finally healed but I’m wounded inside. I’ve been quiet long enough. Silence protects no one – and it almost destroyed me.
What started as a love story sadly turned into something else. Behind the pictures, promises and the plans for a life together – the beautiful days – changed into something into sadness with emotional manipulation and eventually physical harm.
I loved deeply, believed in our future and stood by someone I thought would protect me and instead I was left alone and harmed in ways I never imagined.
I was not only failed by him but deeply affected by the presence of unresolved ties to his past.
Yes I posted an Instagram story with a simple yes or no question about if your ex should be a part of your present relationship. I felt there were too many people in our relationship: me, my boyfriend and his ex. ‘Three’s a crowd’, they say.
I asked so many times if we could be just the two of us, but the answer was a strong NO. I experienced what I can only describe as targeted emotional distress which he allowed to continue.
The ex and her family put us through so much misery and false accusations, I won’t go into details. They had no reason whatsoever to do what they did to us, but for some reason they wouldn’t let go and let us enjoy our love.
Everybody knows that real friends support you and want to see you happy.
So I posted a story on Instagram.
After being together for one year my boyfriend finally promised me that he would have boundaries.
He would put a stop to all that had been going on for months.
But he didn’t. Instead he broke the promise and her controlling behaviour continued. The rest is history.
I was brutally thrown out of our new home in the middle of the night wearing only my pyjamas. I opened the door to let him in and only minutes after I found myself laying down on the stairs outside our house.
My clothes and belongings were being thrown out from the balcony down on me. I was injured.
Thanks to incredible neighbours who heard and saw what happened and acted, I got help. They called police, brought me to safety and ensured the incident was taken seriously.
A gentleman does not abuse you and end up in jail and call you the love of his life. A gentleman does not blame you for his actions. A gentleman will confide in his partner, family and close circle of friends, keeping them close and safe. A gentleman chooses you always and leaves the past in the past – including exes.
Life is to be lived together and not to please people who want to take advantage of you. At the end of the day, fame can only do so much – it’s all about being strong and growing together.
Life is simply not a reality TV show, life is real.
I have tried to understand why. I have cried so many tears thinking about the way he chose to hurt me. He said he loved me and I believed him and here we are.
There is now a legal record of what happened. Violence has no excuse – no matter how much love preceded it.
To those who questioned me for staying as long as I did: I stayed because I believed in love. I believed he and we could grow, could heal, could choose peace. But love doesn’t survive in chaos. And it cannot survive where violence lives.
To every woman reading this: if you’ve ever questioned your worth, your safety or your sanity in a relationship – this is your sign. You deserved to be loved with care and integrity. And you are not alone.
To the men: real strength is protection. Real love is safe. Be the kind of man who lifts women up – not one who breaks them down, neither by violence or silence.
To the future: never say never. I will get the little family I’ve always dreamed of and have my dream wedding to symbolise and celebrate true love in front of my dear family and friends.
I’m healing now. Slowly, bravely and unapologetically. I will rise and I will use my voice – not for vengeance but for truth. For every woman who’s been silenced by someone who said ‘I love you’ and then proved otherwise.
This is not just my story. It’s a reminder: abuse – whether emotional, psychological or physical – has no place in love.
