SOAKING in a sunken bath of soapy bubbles, a woman in her 30s asks the others in the room if they’d like to join her.
Just metres away, half a dozen more are making their own fun entwined on a giant bed and amongst them there’s regular mums and dads, letting off steam before they’re in the throes of Christmas chaos back home.
For less than what it would cost for a ticket to the panto they’ve paid to frolic beneath a huge mirrored ceiling and soon, the heat in the room reaches boiling point.
I’ve stepped out of my favourite festive PJs and laid off the Quality Streets to attend an exclusive invite to Naughty Narnia, a pop up sex party just metres away from Brighton’s seafront.
Whilst the literary land of the same name is cursed to a perpetual winter, temperatures here shoot up quicker than you can say Turkish Delight.
Set within a four-star hotel, there are no mythical beasts or talking animals either, just a bunch of kinky folk acting out their wildest fantasies.
Entry would set you back £53 a ticket – remarkably cheaper than a trip to a high-end grotto for a family of four.
When I arrive, I’m greeted by organiser Zara Du Rose, who is looking resplendent dressed as the Ice Queen.
The event is sold out, and tonight Zara is expecting 90 guests who, according to the event flier, are here to ‘step through the wardrobe and into a world where fantasy turns deliciously wicked…’
“There are performances and strict rules around consent and respect, but otherwise you can indulge your fantasies in every corner of the hotel,” she tells me.
As a mum of two who loves nothing more than a night in front of the telly at the time of year, watching Home Alone on a loop, I brace myself.
But as I wander into the bar nervously, there’s nothing icy about the clientele – they’re the exact opposite of the type you’d expect to meet at a party like this.
I get chatting to mum of one Melody Barclay, 39, and her fiancé Scott Midmer, 46, an HGV driver, who are in full Narnia fancy dress. Melody looks stunning in a skin-tight white latex costume, which set her back an astonishing £1,000.
They’re warm and friendly, and explain they’ve made the three-hour round trip from their home in Northampton.
“It’s important to have time as a couple, or you’ll go mad!”, Melody laughs, referring to her home life as the mum of a two-year-old.
“We aren’t one of those couples who immediately have sex here – we don’t judge anyone that does, but it’s not for us. We need to have a connection and build up to things.
“But we enjoy coming here as we know we’re going to meet like-minded people and things can progress further down the line, after a dinner out and working out dynamics that we’re all comfortable with.”
The air is full of anticipation.
Intrigued, I venture further into the corners of the hotel, which Zara speaks so highly about.
There’s guests of all ages and as I mingle I talk to chief execs, accountants and those who work in HR who are all ‘keen to experience human relationships on a different level’.
On the ground floor, there’s a bar and a fully equipped dungeon with a cross which couples can use to restrain one another. In one room, there’s a bench for spanking and enough whips to make my eyes water.
Down some steep steps, one of the hotel suites has been converted into a playroom. That’s where I stumble across the biggest bathtub I have ever seen and a bed which is big enough to sleep half a dozen – although no snoozing goes on in here.
An orgy is breaking out on the bed where couples are fondling one another – I quickly dart back to the bar.
I’m staggered by the array of costumes – and lack of material – where modesties are barely covered by scanty wisps of underwear.
There are guests of all ages, and as I mingle, I talk to chief execs, accountants and those who work in HR who are all ‘keen to experience human relationships on a different level’.
Later on, I catch up with Melody, who tells me about the fun she had in the bubble bath.
“We ended up kissing and enjoying some foreplay with one woman, and we’re looking forward to meeting up with her again,” she smiles.
“But we’ll see what happens.”
And interestingly, Melody tells me their five-year relationship has only improved since she and Scott began opening it up to strangers.
She adds: “You can only do this if you have open and honest communication”
‘My husband’s at home with the kids’
Next, I talk to Rachel*, 55, from Cambridgeshire. Her husband is napping in their room upstairs because he’s arrived with a headache. It feels like terrible timing because the night is just getting started.
They’ve been on the non-monogamous scene for ten years after discovering a swinging club close to their home, and in that time they’ve got into a regular group of like-minded singles and couples.
Tonight they’ve driven over 100 miles to Brighton, for the novelty.
I next see her scoping out the dungeon – ready for when her husband wakes up, and they can play together.
Anything goes in Narnia.
When I get talking to Alex*, a man in his 50s, who is dressed all in white to fit the theme, he tells me he’s here with his girlfriend Emma*, who is actually married to another man.
Sensing my astonishment, Emma casually chips in: “My husband doesn’t mind at all, he’s home looking after the kids. But on Monday, I’ll be the one staying home while he sees his girlfriend. He and Alex get on well.”
I wasn’t expecting to meet monogamous couples at a swingers’ party, but I’m taken aback by the number of those who are here without their spouses. Yet they all insist this isn’t cheating because they aren’t sneaking around behind their partners’ backs.
I’m really in the thick of the action and flinch as I see a woman being given tiny electric shocks by something which resembles a human cattle prod.
As the night rumbles on, the entertainment fires up. Performers include Fae Wildfyre and her saucy burlesque routine, and Lady Catnis, who clearly enjoys having hot wax dripped onto her near-naked body.
At 8.30pm, the evening is already hotting up, and I pluck up the courage to go downstairs to the playroom and bathroom.
What I witness next isn’t for the faint-hearted.
I’m really in the thick of the action here, and I flinch as I see a woman being given tiny electric shocks by something which resembles a human cattle prod.
I turn to the man spectating beside me and ask what he thinks.
His name is Lewis*, 45, an accountant from Milton Keynes, here alone, who assures me that far from being terrifying, it’s very relaxing. I take his word for it.
He goes on to tell me he’s enjoyed a threesome with two women, including one who is there with her partner. “He wasn’t interested in joining in,” he smiles, “But he stayed nearby.”
And he reveals how he navigates an event like Narnia, the second of Zara’s high-class sex parties I’ve been given exclusive access to.
“When you come on your own, it can be nerve-racking,” he explains. “I usually introduce myself during drinks, or comment on someone’s outfit and take it from there. If they don’t want to engage, then I back off immediately – you can always tell.
“For me, going to a party is like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet, you have a little bit of this and that, and try out some new stuff. I don’t expect to meet up with people again, but it’s great fun while you’re there.”
As the night draws to a close, I bump into Calandra Balfour, the ‘Mistress of the Dungeon,’ whose job it is to either take part in BDSM sessions or keep a watchful eye to ensure the equipment is being used safely.
She says it has been quite a night.
“I’ve been going to parties as the dungeon mistress for six years, and every single one is different with a different dynamic, and that will always make it exciting,” she says.
“I find it very titillating. I love giving pleasure and seeing people receive it. These events are always consensual, and no one gets hurt – unless they ask for it!”
I take her word for it, and I grab my jacket before heading for the door.
I’ve had my fill of delight for one night.
