THE summer holidays have finally arrived, which means millions of Brits are loading up the car ready for a traditional family break in a static caravan at one of the hundreds of UK holiday parks.
However, much like the stereotypical lairy Brit abroad, sometimes we simply forget our manners when heading off on our hols, whether the final destination is Magaluf or Margate.
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And it’s the unsung heroes of the holiday parks – the cleaners – who have to pick up the pieces.
I’m one of the anonymous army of housekeepers busy working behind the scenes to make sure your linen is fresh and your loo is sparkling, so you can enjoy a well-deserved rest.
But in return for helping you to have the most relaxing break possible, a little consideration for your cleaner would go a long way.
Working against the clock in a metal sweatbox, usually for a minimum wage, caravan cleaning is about as unglamorous as it gets – not many people would say their dream job involves picking another person’s pubes out of a plughole.
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But there are a few little things you can do to make the whole experience more pleasant for your housekeeper.
From poor bed-making etiquette to fridges full of leftover food, here are the top things that all caravan cleaners hate, how you can avoid them, and what happens if you don’t.
Leaving food behind
Whether you are motivated by doing something nice for the next guests staying or you’re just doing it out of sheer laziness, please don’t leave food in the fridge, freezer or cupboards when you go home.
Whether it’s a half-used packet of cereal, an opened bottle of
orange juice, or half a loaf of bread, it all goes straight in the bin.
It hurts to have to chuck it, but there’s no way I’d be drinking out of an open bottle left behind by some random stranger, and I
wouldn’t expect anyone else to either.
If you do have something worth sharing, perhaps offer it to the person in the caravan next door; otherwise, just take it with you.
Or if you really don’t like food waste, perhaps don’t go overboard
in Lidl in the first place.
Leaving half-used products behind
While we are on the subject of leaving half-used stuff behind, don’t do what one lady did and leave a half-bottle of Femfresh wash sitting in the shower.
Nobody wants your second-hand foof soap.
Unless it’s washing up liquid or liquid soap in a dispenser, bin it or take it with you.
Letting the kids run riot
I get it, the kids are on holiday too, and everyone likes to let their hair down.
I have two little ones myself, and I know how excited they get when they burst through those caravan doors for the first time.
However, if you let your kids draw on the walls or furniture of your caravan, or leave sweet wrappers and drinks cans scattered all over the floor (when there are no less than four perfectly good bins in the caravan), then know that I am judging you, and judging you HARD.
In short, if you wouldn’t let your little darlings do it at home, why let them do it in someone else’s place?
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Making the beds before you check out
It goes against everything we were taught when we were kids, but before you leave, please don’t make the beds.
Stripping them is far more helpful to the housekeeper.
I would much rather walk into a van and find a mountain of tangled sheets, duvet covers, and pillow cases on the living room floor than four neatly made beds with hospital corners.
It saves so much time.
Besides, all bed linen is washed, bleached, ironed and changed between guests anyway – I can assure you that nobody wants to sleep in your dirty old sheets.
Telling lies about the state of the caravan
Thinking about pulling a fast one to try and claw back a bit of cash?
Don’t make false claims about the cleanliness or state of the caravan when you arrive.
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We keep the receipts – every inch of the caravan is photographed and logged on our system after each clean, from the kitchen cupboards to the sofa bed.
We will know if you are lying. We also know exactly how many plates, bowls, glasses, and mugs are in the cupboards.
If you break one, just fess up – it does happen.
Behaving like an absolute slob
This shouldn’t really need saying, but try not to behave like an animal.
Leaving a pile of dirty dinner plates, not emptying used tampons out of the bathroom bin, dropping cigarette butts all over the decking, or leaving rubbish strewn over every available surface (use the bins, people!) is unacceptable behaviour.
Ditto leaving dirty knickers on the floor, used razors in the shower, and fistfuls of used tissues stuffed down the sides of the sofa (shudder).
And beware – if I have to go over my allotted two hours of cleaning per van because you left the place looking like a tip, expect a big fat extra cleaning fee to be added to your bill.
When all is said and done, you should expect a good standard of cleanliness when staying at a holiday park.
Whether you have booked a five-star lodge or a budget option, there is no excuse for grubby linen, dirty toilets or sticky kitchen worktops.
If you aren’t satisfied with the standard of cleaning, don’t hesitate to contact the park or holiday lettings agency responsible.
But at the same time, don’t be the filthy heathen that we gossip about back at headquarters.
Don’t forget, if you leave something particularly gross behind, you may be slapped with a park ban.
Rest assured, we won’t be sad to see the back of you.
Why caravan holidays are so underrated
CARAVAN park holidays are a British staple.
And with the cost of living crisis wreaking havoc on Britain’s purses, more of us are turning to them for an affordable break.
Josie O’Brien, Senior Digital Writer on Fabulous, weighs in on why she thinks caravan holidays are seriously underrated…
WHEN I was a child, my mum used to collect the £9.50 holiday vouchers in The Sun.
She’d use them to book a couple of nights away at a caravan park during the school holidays.
As an adult, I fully appreciate the convenience of a humble caravan holiday.
No faffing about with passports, no luggage limits and no bog-standard hotel breakfast of stale toast and grey eggs.
I still love caravan holidays as an adult.
In a world of doing everything for the ‘gram, a caravan park brings you back to basics.
There’s no obligation to get dressed up, no stress to fit a million picturesque excursions in one week and I don’t find myself flustered in tourist hot spots like abroad.
I love going to coastal caravan parks and strolling along the beach parade.
My highlight is always fresh mussels, ice-creams and classic pubs to grab an afternoon tipple in.
And then, of course, there’s the cost.
Staying in a caravan is definitely way cheaper than my international trips.
With no expensive hotel bills and the ability to cook my own meals, I’m spending hundreds less than I would abroad.
I’ve had some of my best and most relaxing holidays in caravans. Maybe I’ll buy my own one day.
The UK’s biggest holiday park is right on the beach with thousands of caravans, indoor pools and cheap stays.
Plus, the UK hotel with stunning views of the Northern Lights and it even comes with an in-house astronomer.
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