WE THOUGHT we’d try somewhere adventurous and long-haul this February half term – only to balk at the price of five flights for the family.
I’ve visited some amazing destinations with my kids, such as Antigua and St Lucia – but it was my 13-year-old who said it first: “Mum, why don’t we just go back to Butlin’s, we love it there.”
Despite the UK weather doing its usual February sulk, it really did seem like the best option.
Because honestly, when you’ve got a family, ‘easy’ is the luxury – not the fluffy dressing gowns and designer toiletries.
So it’s no surprise that Butlin’s is still going strong after turning 90 this year.
You can feel the old holiday-camp DNA (updated for the way kids live now) nine decades later.
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And with three kids of three different ages, they easily cater to three different ideas of a good time.
We went to Bognor Regis on the South Coast – it’s not a mega
mission from London and we like browsing the charity shops in the town when we want a break from the noise of the resort.
We had a great first day of sun making the most of the outdoor activities – shooting arrows in an archery session, trying the climbing wall and the high ropes, driving go-karts and doing a circuit of the fairground rides.
Then of course, in new British fashion, the heavens opened.
But that didn’t matter because of all the indoor activities there were to choose from.
Bognor has its new PlayXperience building, and with the kids now nine, 12 and 13, they were the perfect ages to get stuck into this new high-tech play space.
The Escape Room was our highlight, with the alien-themed Area 51being exactly the sort of story that drags kids in from the first second.
Secret bases, weird goings-on, computer servers, clues and that delicious feeling that you’re actually on a real mission.
Within five minutes, my lot were in full command mode – one child on text, one on codes and one on fiddling with every locked box willing something to fall out.
I tried to put in my tuppence-worth but was generally overruled, by my seemingly smarter kids.
I think we might still be locked in the first room had the nine-year-old not cracked the essential first clue and it was my 13-year-old, not me, who managed to line the wellies up correctly in the second room to give us a crucial code.
I can’t remember the last time I saw my three children genuinely working together
And that family bonding is the whole point of Butlin’s, going right back to Billy Butlin’s original idea of giving ordinary British families a proper break by bundling fun, food and somewhere to sleep into one straightforward package.
Mine don’t want a quiet week of skimming stones on Bognor beach – they want big, shiny, ‘tell-my-mates’ experiences, like Laser Tag (where I learnt that small people have no mercy and I got completely rinsed by someone who still needs help finding the right sock).
Or the VR-cade where I learnt that virtual reality games give me motion sickness, but it’s funny watching your kids react to things that only they can see.
And where else could take your kids swimming, climbing, bowling, go-karting and to a show all in the same day?
The live shows were a particular hit with the poor weather scuppering any outdoor fun.
There’s the good old-fashioned pantomime, even in the height
of summer (this year it’s Jack and the Beanstalk).
And the evening shows include a team of talented redcoats singing popular hits with impressively quick costume changes.
This year there are two new evening shows proving a big hit with punters: The Masked Singer Live and Maximum Pro Wrestling.
The Masked Singer Live has that big Saturday-night energy: bright, silly, loud, designed to make you shout “take it off” even if you’ve never seen an episode of the TV show.
The families around us were guessing, debating and building elaborate theories, which swept my kids in and even though I didn’t have a hope of guessing the celebrity correctly I had fun all the same – it was impossible not to get caught up by the energy in the room.
The Pro Wrestling show was also a blast, even if you’ve never watched any form of wrestling before.
My kids instantly got the gist of it – the characters, the drama, the outrageous moves; i’s basically panto with muscles, and it’s brilliant.
They screamed at the baddie and the adults joined in, too, my throat hoarse by the end of the night.
And that’s the thing with Butlin’s – it takes the pressure off and lets you be who you want with no judgment.
Also, and I say this with feeling, it’s a place where you don’t have to apologise for having children.
Nobody looks at you like you’ve brought a marching band into a library a everyone’s in the same boat trying to keep boisterous little ones entertained.
And there’s comfort in knowing that if we don’t have the budget or the will for something long-haul and adventurous next year either, there will always be Butlin’s for a fun half term.
In other holiday park news, here are 14 of the best holiday parks in the UK from £19 a night – including beach resorts and huge waterparks.
Plus, here are 10 of our favourite £9.50 holiday parks in the UK.
