AS Jessica Waite flicked through her late husband’s iPad, her eyes widened and stomach tied in knots.
She was looking for the phone number of the Houston hospital that was holding his body – only, she soon discovered a whole lot more.
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Sean had passed away in 2015 and only then did the mum and writer find out about his secret sordid pas of regularly sleeping with escorts.
Not only that, but she learned he’d cheated on her with several women.
Deciding how to take the ultimate revenge, she came up with a plan – she ate his ashes.
Now, Jessica has written a candid account of her experiences in her memoir ‘A Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards.’
READ MORE ON RELATIONSHIPS
In the book she explains how her husband of 17 years died of a heart attack while on a business trip to Texas.
It was while Jessica searched her late husband’s iPad looking for the number of the Houston hospital holding his body that she discovered his damning browsing history.
According to the New York Post, Jessica recalls typing ‘Houston’ into the browser, and as she did so it auto-corrected to ‘Houston escorts.’
She also found searches for specific escorts as well as their prices and locations.
But this was only the tip of the iceberg.
Jessica spent months unravelling her husband’s secret life and also learned Sean had lied to her about having to work late on certain nights.
Instead, he was busy downloading hundreds of depraved pornographic videos to his personal computer, which were all organised and categorised into different desktop folders.
Shockingly she discovered that he had rented an apartment in Colorado, where he would have sex with escorts and women he’d picked up.
Jessica writes in the recently-released book how she struggled to come to terms with her husband’s double life.
I’ve desecrated the remains of my partner in life. But then, in despair and guilt, took more of his ashes — and actually ate them
Jessica Waite
While mulling over Sean’s betrayals, Jessica described cutting open the bag of his ashes and taking them into her garden, where she mixed some of them into her dog’s faeces.
“I’ve desecrated the remains of my partner in life,” Jessica wrote.
“But then, in despair and guilt, took more of his ashes — and actually ate them.
“The remains feel dry against my fingertips, coarser than baking powder, grainier than salt. They mix with the teary water, a mineral mud on the back of my tongue. I swallow.”
Jessica admits that she was “detached from reality in the wake of Sean’s death” in that moment.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Today, Jessica has a new man in her life, but thinks daily about the duplicity of the man she was once married to.
“I feel better and stronger than before, but I still cry almost every day, and I still feel like a part of me has died,” she wrote.
“Because the part of me that existed within Sean did.”
The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards, £11.99, is available to buy now on Amazon.
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