WHEN Gillian Dalgliesh’s sister told her “you’ll look back on this and you will feel completely different”, the mum-of-four couldn’t see beyond her life-shattering heartbreak.
She had just discovered her husband of 17 years had been having an affair with her best friend.
And instead of fighting for their marriage when confronted, he walked out the door – refusing to give his mistress up.
Gillian, then 52, was forced to leave their beautiful farmhouse in France with their four kids – aged nine, 12 and four-year-old twins – and had no job or money to fund their new life.
Speaking about the double betrayal, she told Fabulous: “My heart was broken. I was so desolate.
“It was completely out of the blue [discovering the affair].
“I found an email that she sent him to his business account and it was clear as day what was going on from the email.
“It had been happening under my nose for quite a few months.
“I discovered it literally two or three days before Christmas. And I can’t describe how I felt, I was just devastated. It was awful.”
Gillian, from Edinburgh, admits that she asked her ex if he would consider stopping the affair. But when it became clear that there would always be three people in her marriage, she knew it was over.
She said: “I couldn’t accept that as a role model for my children, I couldn’t accept it for my own dignity and integrity, I simply couldn’t accept that.
“I asked him ‘don’t see her, give us a couple of weeks where we can try to repair the 20-year relationship and the fact that we have four children. If you don’t give me that two weeks, then we are done here. And if you walk out the door now, that’s it’.
“And he walked out the door and honestly it was like a switch clicked in my head and I realised, right, this is now a new sphere in my life.
“I needed my kids to see I was a strong woman and I wouldn’t put up with that.
I wouldn’t accept that humiliating life as second best, sharing him with somebody else.”
Gillian had always devoted her life to her children, husband and his business.
During their six years in France, she helped develop the company into the global success that it became and they enjoyed a very comfortable life.
But with the breakdown of their marriage, she returned to Scotland as a homeless, single mother-of-four on benefits.
She said: “I had no money because I’d been such a doormat that he was in control of everything and I was going to have to return to Scotland and live on benefits. I was ashamed that at 52 I had no money and nowhere to live and I thought I was stuck.”
Gillian was so desperate for cash that she was forced to sell her jewellery to help fund the move.
And while it may have seemed like rock bottom, this is when her life completely transformed.
After reading a life-changing book about getting in touch with her higher power – Spiritual Growth: Being Your Higher Self by Sananya Roman, Gillian had what she describes as an “awakening moment”.
It opened the door to a job she loves, feeling powerful and fulfilled – even without a partner to share it with.
She said: “I decided that although my life was in turmoil, my thoughts didn’t have to reflect that. I started thinking about the life I wanted and imagined living in a particular part of Edinburgh.”
Out of the blue, a friend she hadn’t spoken to in 20 years contacted her to offer her the use of his car and flat in Edinburgh rent-free while he worked abroad.
The nearby school, which always had waiting lists, also had spaces free for her children.
Gillian said: “From that point, things just started falling into place. I made my thoughts very positive and felt I was being guided to my new life.”
She went from working in a supermarket and then in the oil and gas industry to launching a successful career as a clinical hypnotherapist.
Now 67, she knows that the power of positive thinking helped her start again after heartbreak – and she supports others to make breakthrough changes in their own lives.
She has an international roster of clients from as far as Singapore and the United Arab Emirates, and has written multiple self-help books.
Reflecting on her incredible life change, Gillian said: “Everything seemed to come about in the right way at the right time. I needed the double betrayal, the affair, for me to leave.
“So in its own way, it was kind of a blessing in disguise.”
The best-selling author added: “I know that my kids are so proud of me, how I’ve come through it and how I’ve supported them.
“So my sister was 100% correct. I feel completely different about it all. I couldn’t see what was really happening, but it changed my life for the better.”
- Gillian Dalgliesh is a clinical hypnotherapist, intuitive life coach and bestselling author of two books – Tap into the Power of Your Subconscious Mind to Create the Life You Desire, and Learn How to Programme Your Subconscious Mind for Sustainable Weight Loss Success. Check out her website here.
