A housemaster at a £36k-a-year boarding school has been banned from the classroom after kissing a pupil and telling her ‘I feel love at a level I’ve never felt before’ – while his wife of eight years was pregnant with their second child.
Benjamin Phelps, 31, was working as a performing arts technician and deputy housemaster at Bede’s Senior School in Hailsham, East Sussex, when he began privately messaging the pupil in November 2023.
A Teaching Regulation Agency panel found that his messages – sent late at night and in the early hours – became increasingly personal over a period of months, with Phelps telling the pupil ‘I love you and wish you sweet dreams’ and ‘love you more every day.’
In one WhatsApp message, Phelps told the pupil that a photograph she had sent him had left him feeling ‘turned on’ and that he wanted to ‘grab you and pick you up and have you wrapped around me.’
Many of the messages were sent while Phelps’s wife – whom he married in 2016 – was pregnant with their second child.
Yet in messages to the pupil, Phelps wrote that he felt ‘love, like pure love at a level I’m not sure I’ve felt before’ and that there was ‘not a single other thought in my brain, not one other than you.’
The panel found Phelps had kissed the pupil on the cheek and exchanged hugs with her on a number of occasions – and when she kissed him in February 2024, he kept it from the school.
It was the pupil’s mother who eventually alerted the school in March 2024, triggering Phelps’s suspension and his dismissal the following month.
Benjamin Phelps (pictured) messaged a pupil at his school that ‘there is not a single other thought in my brain, not one other than you’ – while his wife was pregnant with their second child
Phelps was a housemaster at Bede’s school in Sussex, a top boarding school with fees of up to £17,525 per term
In one Google chat message sent to the pupil, Phelps wrote: ‘A hot feeling went through me, from front to back, I shook slightly (bit weird but true), then I had this warm glow and I can’t stop staring at it.
‘I feel love, like pure love at a level I’m not sure I’ve felt before. This one feels special. (I’m so sorry for this but you want the truth) it properly turned me on.
‘I just want to grab you and pick you up and have you wrapped around me. Also (less crass now!) I feel like there is not a single other thought in my brain, not one other than you.’
In another he warned her: ‘Maybe delete this chat too in case they look through your phone.’
Phelps pursued a relationship with the pupil after having a phone call with her in October, sending her messages filled with emojis and kisses, writing written notes and planning secret meet ups during the school day in the months following.
The messages read: ‘You have such a beautiful mind though, it’s so pure and genuine, I’ve always said that’ and ‘massive hugs on the pillow’.
In one instance, Phelps wrote on a napkin to the pupil: ‘Just to say.. I (heart symbol) with all my (heart symbol), xxxx, missed you today.’
Other times, he encouraged the student to bunk off, messaging her: ‘Fair! Want to sneak off together for some lunch? X.’
After moving to WhatsApp, a banned means of communication at the boarding school, the panel found the communications ‘became increasingly personal’ and Phelps and the pupil ‘undertook other activities such as spending more time together outside of lesson time and exchanging photographs’.
The WhatsApp messages included one from Phelps stating: ‘Hope you’ve had a good night, I’m falling asleep with my phone in my hand. I love you and wish you sweet dream!! Contact me about anything xxxxxx.’
Another read: ‘Love you more every day. My heart fluttered every time you caught my eye x also, I love the hearts! Just ready them they’ll stay close to me xx.’
Phelps also planned their meet ups away from the eyes of other teachers, as he wrote in one message: ‘Ok, I’ve been thinking about tomorrow and I think we should go to [REDACTED] and get a [REDACTED] and eat in the car.’
In November, the pupil disclosed a matter to Phelps which should have prompted him to then begin safeguarding procedures – but he failed to do so. He also failed to disclose that the pupil had ‘kissed him’.
The panel also found Phelps failed to follow ‘a direct instruction to discontinue contact with pupils’ during his suspension, answering a phone call with the pupil while he had been struck off.
The panel also found among the allegations that Phelps had entered pupils’ rooms and ‘allowed the door to close’.
Benjamin Phelps, who has two young children with his wife of eight years, was banned from teaching and was found proven of serious misconduct and failure in his duty of safeguarding.
Bede’s School in Hailsham, Sussex, is a top independent school with boarding and day students aged 13-18, and full boarding fees per term of £17,525.
