Gypsy women have revealed the very strict rules they live by in their community in a BBC documentary.
In Growing Up Gypsy, presenter Stacey Dooley is given unprecedented access to the famously closed community, speaking to three young women about what life is really like in their world.
As Stacey explains, Romani Gypsies – also known as Travellers – have lived in the UK for nearly 500 years and resided purely in caravans or on the road until around 60 years ago. But even today, they still commonly face abuse, stereotyping and discrimination.
In the documentary, Stacey was welcomed into the homes of three English Romani gypsies, who each gave her an insight into the traditional rules they follow – including the very set gender boundaries that still determine the way they live their lives.
Each of the women alluded to practices that may seem unusual to many, such as waiting until marriage to have sex and dropping out of school.
Chantelle, 23, lives in Bedfordshire with her husband Swaley, who proposed after just six weeks of dating.
The young woman has gained more than 400,000 on TikTok thanks to her extensive cleaning routines and open and honest videos about mental health.
As Stacey embarked on a spot of cleaning with Chantelle – despite there not being a ‘speck of dust’ about – she learned that it’s a chore that men would never help with in the community.
Gypsy women have revealed the very strict rules they live by in their community in a BBC documentary, including their strict cleaning routines (pictured)
Chantelle explained: ‘With Gypsy boys, they don’t get taught to clean. The girls on the other hand, they’ve had a cloth in their hand since they was a newborn.
‘I get a lot of people saying, “oh, she’s doing the same thing every day, she must be bored”. Personally, when I was younger, all I wanted to be was a mum. I wanted to have a husband and home. There’s worse things for a 23-year-old to be doing!’
Meanwhile 18-year-old Serena from Lincolnshire said that she would be ‘weirded out’ if her fiancé Marco offered to help with the cleaning in their new home.
When asked if she would solely be taken on the chores, Serena said it was ‘100 per cent’ her role, and even admitted she’d tell Marco: ‘You’re being a woman now, stop it.’
Ebony, 22, who now lives with her family in Nottinghamshire after spending her childhood travelling around Europe in a trailer, confessed that the ‘old fashioned and traditional’ aspects of the community are the reason she loves it most.
‘I like the fact that the women stay home and look after the kids and the men are the providers,’ she told Stacey.
‘Women are women and men is men, that’s how it should be.’
Ebony, 18, has been with her boyfriend for four years but, like many members of her community, they won’t live together until they’re married.
Chantelle has racked up more than 400,000 followers on TikTok through her cleaning videos and insights into the community
Serena, 18, is engaged to her boyfriend Marco (pictured together), but they won’t live together until after they’re married
Ebony, 22, who now lives with her family in Nottinghamshire after spending her childhood travelling around Europe in a trailer, confessed that the ‘old fashioned and traditional’ aspects of the community are the reason she loves it most
‘You don’t live together until you’re married, you don’t go on holidays together,’ she said.
Reflecting that many in the UK will move out at 18 to go to university, Ebony said it was a never a life she would have wanted to lead, adding: ‘I can’t picture myself at 18, picking up and moving out.’
In another clip, while speaking to her colleague in the nail salon, she admitted she probably wouldn’t be allowed to go on holiday with female friends, even after getting married.
Waiting until marriage is still a very important value to the traveller to the community, despite Western culture generally turning away from it.
Chantelle admitted that she and Swaley had married young after eloping.
Swaley explained: ‘What it is with travellers, when you run off and spend the night, in our eyes, she’s my wife then. That’s how travellers did it years ago and that’s how travellers still do it.’
Serena and Marco were also waiting until marriage and wouldn’t move into their new bungalow until after tying the knot.
Serena, who helps runs a stud farm for horses by day, said that even if she was allowed to move in before marriage, she ‘wouldn’t do it anyway’.
Stacey Dooley (pictured) was given unprecedented access into what life is really like in the community
Chantelle said that Gypsy women are taught to clean, while the boys go off to work
‘That’s what you’re supposed to do,’ she said. ‘Even gorgers (non-travellers) years ago that’s what you’re meant to do.’
Even today, all three women acknowledged that they still face frequent abuse due to being a part of the community.
Serena and Ebony acknowledged that they will try to ‘hide’ their identity, changing the way they dress and attempting to sound ‘more prim and proper’ to fit in with gorgers.
Serena’s family said that the ongoing discrimination faced by gypsies plays a big role in low attendance rates that school.
Her mother said: ‘They paint us in a bad light, they paint us as thieves, homeless, scroungers.
‘Everyone complains that travellers don’t go to school but they make it impossible to go to school.
‘You’re either bullied, or the teachers don’t help you. There’s some kind of a reason why travellers have pulled out of school earlier than they should be.’
Serena added that she herself had received ‘far more abuse’ from teachers than children while at school.
Serena said that she received ‘far more abuse’ from teachers than other children while at school
She said that she would be doing ‘100 per cent’ of the chores in her new home
Her mother added that discrimination is a major reason why people in the community don’t go to school
On TikTok, women in the traveller community are unveiling their pristine homes, where they share cleaning tips with their followers – after spending several hours a day scrubbing them from top to bottom.
Hundreds of traveller women around the UK and Ireland proudly showcase their extremely clean homes, plus their top cleaning tips, on social media – while busting myths about the traveller community.
Whether they live in a trailer, caravan, or traditional house, maintaining a meticulously clean home is an essential part of life for traveller women, who typically assume traditional roles within the home.
Some women are so particular about keeping a perfect home that they will wrap their furniture in plastic to protect it from lasting damage or staining.
One house proud traveller, Cuzinsuzy, shared a tour of her home on TikTok, revealing her glamorous home which didn’t have a speck of dust in sight.
In one video, she showed off the expertly manicured house with perfectly hoovered carpets, glittering ornaments and spotless tables, most of which were protected with a layer of plastic.
Cuzinsuzy explained that a number of travellers even choose to coat their furniture in plastic wrap to ‘protect it from dirt.’
Chantelle’s husband revealed that he proposed after six or seven weeks of dating
‘This plastic just protects the top of tables, you can put it on seats, in your kitchen. We just put it on the furniture so it doesn’t get destroyed,’ she explained.
The young traveller said she knew of women who kept their rugs wrapped in plastic to keep them completely clean. ‘I even know girls that plastic the front of their fridges,’ she added.
Another traveller, Megan Rose Smith, showed off her immaculate trailer, revealing a glossy grey marble interior.
In her TikTok description, the young Gypsy had written: ‘cleaning and cooking’, adding that she is a ‘follower of Jesus Christ’.
Another traveller, Marybridget Stanley, has shared her cleaning journey on TikTok.
Marybridget is a popular social media star who frequently shares videos about her life as a traveller, showing her glamorous makeup looks and spectacular outfits.
Along with her glam lifestyle content, Marybridget also posts some videos of her cleaning her trailer.
In one clip, she posted a video of her giving a ‘deep clean’ to her property, which she said has made a habit of doing every single week on a Monday.
‘This is what we’re dealing with today,’ she said, panning the camera over her caravan.
Mary also keeps covers over her seats, which is a common feature in traveller homes.
She showed off an impressive haul of pink Spanish cleaning products from ‘Costa Del Essex’.
Spanish cleaning products appear to be a popular choice among traveller women, with several praising them in cleaning TikTok clips.
Marybridget filmed herself ‘deep cleaning’ her trailer, as well as changing her bedsheets.
Stacey Dooley: Growing Up Gypsy is available to stream now on BBC iPlayer.
