EMPATHY, understanding, respect and boundaries – the four key ingredients of gentle parenting.
But it looks like this style is now out – and there’s a new trend Gen Z parents are following to raise the next generation.
2
According to a new survey, the new wave of parents are extremely concerned with breaking the cycle of generational trauma while raising their own kids.
In a study conducted by Talker Research, on behalf of Kiddie Academy, 2,000 parents of children between the ages of zero and six revealed their parenting styles.
The most common trends among all parents include prioritising real-world consequences and forming strong and emotional bonds.
However, there was one trend that seemed to be more popular tha any other – cycle-breaking parenting.
In fact, a whopping 41 percent of Gen Z mums and dads are abiding by this trend, where parents prioritise healing that trauma and stop stop repeating patterns they experienced during their own childhood.
When it comes to the once-popular approach for young parents, gentle parenting, only 32 percent of Gen Z parents employ that, The Independent reported.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean gentle parenting is fully out – as as 43 of Gen Z parents believe this style works in some situations, while 38 percent say there’s a time and a place for it.
Deciding what approach to use is a huge task millions of new parents are faced with when their child is born – and for 54 percent of Gen Z mums and dads they key focus is preparing the children for the real world.
Meanwhile, 62 percent of millennial parents are thinking about how they can support their children mentally and emotionally when they’re choosing a parenting style.
The study also found that among all parents of any age, a staggering 85 percent of them agreed that there’s no “one size fits all” approach to raising the next generation.
In the survey, parents were also given 20 seconds to explain how they’d answer real-life scenarios.
For example, if a child knocked everything off a shelf in a shop, almost half – 48 percent – said they would most likely help clean up the mess and explain to the child why their behaviour was wrong.
Meanwhile, almost one third of percent of parents would make their child clean up the mess on their own, while 31 percent said they’d apologise to store staff and other customers for their child’s behaviour.
“Results revealed that following a stressful situation with their child and upon further reflection, parents would handle an average of 55 percent of those scenarios differently,” Joy Turner, vice president of education for the Kiddie Academy brand, said in a statement.
”This underscores the fact that no one parenting style is the end-all be-all, especially since 84 percent of parents say their styles have evolved as their child gets older.”
Different parenting styles explained
There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below:
Authoritarian Parenting
What some might describe as “regimental” or “strict” parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway”.
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as “soft parenting” or “yes mums/dads”.
Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem.
They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids”.
Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional.
A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
Although we wouldn’t normally judge people on their parenting skills, many have come under fire for choosing gentle parenting, with kids punching strangers and pooing in public parks.
While gentle parenting has gained popularity in recent years, it has also been heavily criticised, with some stating that it allows kids to walk all over their parents.
But a parenting educator is out to prove that the much-maligned method has it merits, if used correctly.
Gabriel Hannans, author of This is Parenting: Demystifying Parenthood, took to TikTok to dispel certain myths about gentle parenting and how it works.
He made a video in response to someone on the app who suggested “gentle parenting is for gentle kids”.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through,” Gabriel told viewers.
“I have been slapped, I have been spit on, I have been bitten,” the author recounted, even claiming to have been ‘backhanded by a six-year old’.
Despite all this, the creator – who goes under the handle @the_indomitable_blackman – still insisted gentle parenting is the way to go.
He said people have a basic misconception about the practice, which has previously drawn criticism for being too lenient.
“I use it [gentle parenting] differently than a lot of people,” Gabriel explained.
“I’m trying to tell you it’s not the old ‘oh little Billy, stop. Don’t do that.’ No, that’s not what it is,” he continued.
Instead, he gave an example of what he’d say to a child who was misbehaving using the gentle parenting approach: “Hey, now I already told you like two times that that’s not what we’re doing. So we’re doing this now. This is off limits, you’re not doing that no more.”
He explained: “It’s not about acting gentle … it’s recognising that you have boundaries and you can be respectful with talking with somebody.
“But you’re also effectively communicating, you’re effectively establishing boundaries, you’re not letting kids cross that boundary.”
2
