From ‘trophy wife’ to ‘trophy husband’: Body language expert reveals the difference between how Meghan Markle acted with her first husband compared to Prince Harry

‘When your beau is back in town,’ read a story on Meghan Markle‘s As Ever Instagram page this week, along with two glasses of her own brand of wine.

Meghan celebrated the return of her ‘beau’, Prince Harry, to whom she celebrated her sixth wedding anniversary in May, after his recent trip to Ukraine and the UK.

Their ‘fairytale’ nuptials in 2018, watched by nearly two billion people worldwide, featured several departures from royal tradition. Guests even suggested it was the most diverse major event in the Queen’s then 66-year reign.

At the time, the Daily Mail reported that Meghan had launched her own ‘mini-revolution’ as she married Harry in a multi-cultural and US-influenced wedding the likes of which Britain’s royals and the millions watching had never seen before.

The invitations subtly acknowledged Meghan’s previous marriage by referring to her as ‘Ms. Meghan Markle’, rather than the traditional ‘Miss’.

Meghan was married to producer Trevor Engelson for two years before filing for divorce in 2013, citing irreconcilable differences.

Few photographs of the former couple still exist but a handful of snaps from glossy showbiz parties give us a fascinating glimpse into their romance, according to body language expert Judi James.

She told the Daily Mail: ‘When a marriage fails, it’s not uncommon for both partners to approach a second marriage with a desire for a total emotional re-think and body language reset.’

Judi continued: ‘Mistakes that were made concerning choices, behaviours or compatibility options can often be used as a guide to making a marriage that will work.

‘Meghan’s “before and after” body language signals as a wife suggest she came out of her marriage to Trevor with a strong plan in terms of how to make a second marriage work. 

‘Her whole presentation and “brand” as a wife seems to have changed.’

Commenting on Meghan’s body language in photos with Trevor, Judi said her poses suggest she saw herself as a ‘passive trophy wife’.

‘Trevor appears to be the main man and most important character in terms of group poses,’ she said.

But with Harry, there are signals of new confidence and equal status which have ’tilted with time into Meghan’s favour’, said the body language expert.    

‘If she was once the trophy wife, she now seems to display Harry and boast about him like the trophy husband. 

‘He is her “beau” and her “fox”, with emphasis on his looks rather than hers. 

‘She tends to appear much more in charge of the poses and the body language and her relationship bonding rituals with Harry look a lot more decisive and emphatic, suggesting she has always felt more confident about seeing her marriage to him as one for life.’

In photos with Harry, Judi commented that Meghan makes herself very integral to the poses thought, nestling in close and flattering Harry.

‘Meghan’s attachment rituals with Harry are industrial-strength, suggesting she is now a keeper and that she has formed a confident, life-long partnership,’ she said.

With Trevor on the other hand, Judi claims that Meghan’s poses ‘seem to come straight from the Deal or No Deal playbook’.

Referring to a picture of Meghan and Trevor at a Beverly Hills awards dinner in 2011, Judi said: ‘Trevor seems as into the red-carpet rictus as she is here, perhaps more.  

‘His smile involves a pulling up of the top lip to reveal his upper teeth, which suggests effort rather than authentic joy or happiness. 

‘His mouth “smile” sees his lips curling up at one corner and drooping down at the other, suggesting complex emotions. 

‘His chest is puffed to suggest alpha power and his feet are splayed to signal confidence. 

‘One hand is thrust into his pocket in what looks like a bid to make himself the focus of attention here.’

Meghan’s ‘complimentary’ pose is ‘classic beauty pageant,’ according to Judi.     

‘Her perfect smile is pure beauty queen, suggesting she’s suppressing her authentic personality here. 

‘There’s very little synchronicity here to suggest like-minded thinking or objectives.

‘In another pose, their bodies form a V shape, apart at the head and shoulders but coming together at the hips to hint at physical attraction rather than emotional and intellectual.

‘When Meghan and Trevor pose in group pics, the woman we now know as passionate about being at the centre of every group and the body language “leader” who bonds people together seems to be sidelined.

‘It’s Trevor in the middle of the action, wearing a very triumphant, self-satisfied social smile, while Meghan has to lean into the shot from the outer edge to pose with a female friend rather than joining her husband-to-be.

‘She doesn’t signal that she is essential to Trevor’s life here. Her look of head-tilted excitement hints that she is accepting of his more extroverted social role and happy to rock and roll with that.

‘Even when the couple are photographed with just two friends, it’s Trevor joining their group to show bonding for the photo while Meghan appears detached as though not easily or keenly socialising with his friends, which could account for the way that Harry and Meghan’s friends as a couple appear to tend to be her friends primarily.’

With Harry, Judi wrote: ‘Her body language looks more authentic and she appears to be aware of her intellectual worth now as well as her beauty, forging a like-minded coupling. 

‘The pageant posing has gone and her more spontaneous and relaxed signals suggest stronger levels of confidence and a desire to look like an equal rather than an attachment or trophy.

‘She uses two hands to attach to Harry’s arm and hand, showing she will not be appearing on the peripherals of any group pics anytime soon.

‘Meghan’s signals of confidence and dominance have grown and evolved with time and they seem to form a very compatible ‘fit’ for Harry. 

‘Sitting in seats in the audience, we can see Meghan sitting to the front of the photo with her hand on Harry’s thigh in a gesture of ownership.

‘She is determined to use display signals to show off not just their love for each other but also to show herself as being in charge in terms of those displays.’

In one photo, Judi points out that Meghan is not just kissing Harry on the lips in the middle of a large audience, but she also has her hands holding his face to direct the kiss. 

‘She looks like a woman aware that the balance, power, love and keenness signals were off-key the first time around but that this time she will get them emphatically right.

‘Meghan’s power signals are now often showing her in the role of star and leader. 

‘At the Times 100 event, she is no longer weakly attached to an alpha-posing husband as she was with Trevor, with her “power language” being mainly about her looks.

‘Now she appears as a woman totally confident in her own power role, even walking ahead at this event while Harry ran around the car to offer help, more like a member of security.

‘Her marriage to Harry seems to have allowed Meghan to achieve her full personal potential while being the one confident enough to emphasise the strength of their bonding. 

‘On the other hand, her marriage to Trevor threw up body language to suggest that this potential might never have been realised if he remained the star and central focus of their social groups.’