For years airports have tried to convince passengers that they are destinations in their own right. ‘Your holiday starts here!’ As if. Who wants to spend a minute longer than they have to in an air-conditioned strip mall full of stags with 7am pints in hand, and the unmistakable scent of burgers, duty-free perfume and sweat?
But the good news is that not all airports are created equal. If delays and cancellations strike – and global conflict means that’s happening more often – some offer more than others. Having flown around one million miles and, over the years, been stranded in Addis Ababa, Shannon, Johannesburg, Dubai, Boston and – oh, the indignity! – Stansted, after being bumped by Ryanair, here are a few of my favourite airports.
The 130ft-high waterfall at Changi, Singapore
Changi, Singapore
The best thing about Singapore’s hub is that it’s only 30 minutes from downtown, and hi-tech immigration plus security checks at the gate, not at check-in, make coming and going very quick and easy. British passport holders get a visa on arrival. On a Qantas trip from Perth to London my connecting flight from Changi to Heathrow was delayed, so I went into town for a swim at Raffles hotel as well as a chicken curry in its Tiffin Room and still boarded early. If you don’t fancy dinner, you can enjoy a Singapore Sling in the Long Bar at Raffles.
Need to stay closer to the airport? The Crowne Plaza hotel after arrivals has a great pool, while Jewel, a glass-and-steel shopping and entertainment complex next door, has tropical gardens and a giant 130ft waterfall that roars down from the roof. Buy a bag of Irvins Salted Egg crisps before tucking in to Singapore’s national dish: chicken rice. Check out the Fila store for Royal Tenenbaums-style retro sportswear. Walk back through the butterfly garden to make your connection. A further delay? No bother. The free cinemas in Terminals 2 and 3 are open 24/7 and show local and international films on loop.
Helsinki, Finland
This is the most hygge airport in the world. There are three saunas, so you can sweat out the jet lag (cover-up required, not optional, thankfully). A new, spruce-lined airport wing offers a 360-degree LED Finnish nature experience with a birdsong soundtrack and waterfalls. At Christmas time carol singers tour the gate area to entertain passengers as they line up to board. You can take your children to meet Santa and then go to the duty free to buy some reindeer sausages (sorry, Rudolph).
The stores also have excellent liquorice – try the local salted variety. There are Iittala and Arabia interiors outlets, as well as Marimekko homewares and clothing. Before the security restrictions introduced following the 9/11 terror attacks, I bought an entire canteen of cutlery and a selection of kitchen knives to bring home to London. If you have time, take the six-, 12- or 24-hour city tours of Helsinki, especially during white nights when the sun never sets.
Zayed International, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
The travel hub’s soaring glass curves make it so airy and bright that you need to wear sunglasses inside, meaning you automatically look like a jet-setter. And you can behave like one, whatever class you are travelling, because passengers booked on an Etihad flight can buy access to the national airline’s lounges. Four hours in the business class lounge costs £117 and business class ticket holders can access the first-class lounge for £135. These are the greatest bargains in flying.
Last time I was there I grabbed some kip in one of the Deluxe Suites in the first-class lounge, which have Armani Casa furniture, a daybed and a private bathroom. When I woke up it was dinner time. I enjoyed crab and lobster with Vintage Cuvée Billecart-Salmon 2016 champagne. The shopping is great, too, because there are more than the usual big-name luxury brands. My favourite is the Cuban Habanos store where the cedar-wood humidors are excellent value. You can use them to store watches, jewellery and pens (even cigars).
If you choose a long layover, Etihad will give you a free night in a hotel, so you can squeeze in a trip to the Louvre Abu Dhabi and (coming soon) the Guggenheim on Saadiyat Island – or Ferrari World on Yas Island, if you prefer. Show your Etihad boarding pass for a discount.
Dubai International, United Arab Emirates
All’s fair in love, war and commercial aviation, and if you have the cash, this is the best airport in which to look and feel smug. What could cheer you up more during an unexpectedly long stay? Business and first-class travellers check in at an exclusive wing of the airport and are whisked straight to the upper level of the main – Emirates – terminal where they can enjoy the lounges and Timeless Spa. Fancy fliers board from this upper level, too, straight onto the upper deck of Emirates’ Airbus A380 superjumbos.
If you’re travelling with bored teenagers, you can send them off to the competitive e-sports lounge to play on high-end gaming rigs while you carry on with your gruelling programme of relaxation and looking down on people.
Incheon, Seoul, South Korea
Seoul is for those who can’t sit still even, or especially, when stranded. There’s a 72-hole golf course with a quick bus shuttle to and from Terminal 2, where a cheeky nine holes between flights costs from £18. If you don’t want to leave the airport, the Korean cultural centre will get the blood pumping after a long flight with beginners’ lessons in taekwondo.
Fitness freaks should also aim to be stranded at Phoenix Sky Harbor International, in the US, where it’s so large there’s a mile-long walking trail at Terminal 4 with views over the city. This is particularly useful in summer when it’s too hot to venture outside. If all this sounds a bit energetic, the spa at Haneda Airport, Tokyo has a dozen hot springs and baths.
Hamad International, Doha, Qatar
This is definitely the place for a long delay. It is only 30 minutes into the city to admire I M Pei’s architectural masterpiece, the Museum of Islamic Art, the Jean Nouvel-designed National Museum and Rem Koolhaas’ stadium of books that is the National Library. Brits get visas on arrival. I like to eat Lebanese food and drink Chateau Musar at The Ned, a thrillingly modernist building on Doha’s elegant Corniche. For my money it’s the best outpost of the chain created by Soho House founder Nick Jones – and it’s open to all, not just Ned or Soho House members.
If you have an early connecting flight there’s an airside hotel, while the airport’s 25-metre-long swimming pool, squash court and gym will wake you up. Eat at Harrods café or the Louis Vuitton lounge. I can’t resist a small mid-season update in the two – yes, two – Zegna boutiques and the Thom Browne store. If you just want to bliss out, head for the 6,000-square-metre indoor tropical garden – in the desert.
San Francisco, USA
This is a rarity: a US airport with great public transport, so you can escape and return fast on the Bart subway. It only takes half an hour to reach the ferry terminal where you can enjoy oysters and a glass of unoaked Californian chardonnay after arrival. You’ll soon be over the shock of the delay – and hoping your flight is cancelled. Forever.
AND THE WORST…
Almost any big airport in Europe or mainland USA, especially Miami International (Soviet-grey monotony); Newark Liberty International, New York terminals B and C (so dated, demolition can’t come soon enough); Gatwick, London (nothing to do bar a Wetherspoon’s); Heraklion International, Crete (Europe’s lowest-rated airport by passengers); Istanbul (a dull shopping mall miles out of town); Heathrow Terminal 3 (low ceilings and bog standard shops and restaurants); Malpensa, Milan (how can the home of la dolce vita have such an abomination?); Madrid (the Spanish Inquisition was more welcoming), except Terminal 4; Lisbon (too small and antiquated for such a fantastic city).
