CRICKETERS know all about LBW — and yes, as a woman, I’m apparently not supposed to understand the rules.
But England football fans will soon need a new acronym: LBK. Life Beyond Kane.
England’s two friendlies against Uruguay and Japan were uninspiring and, in both, Thomas Tuchel’s talisman sat on the Wembley bench nursing a knock.
His absence said everything. Without him, we looked exactly what we were — blunt.
The numbers are stark.
A record 78 goals in 112 internationals is impressive enough, but the more alarming figure is this: Since 2015, Kane has scored or assisted 32 per cent of England’s goals. Nearly one in three.
That’s why Tuchel will be wrapping his 32-year-old in cotton wool, bubble wrap and everything else he can find between now and the summer.
The Dominics — Solanke and Calvert-Lewin — worked hard while Phil Foden was used as a false nine during the friendlies, but the cutting edge wasn’t there.
Only ten English strikers featured in the Prem this season, with Chelsea’s Liam Delap the only one under 26. Danny Welbeck and Calvert-Lewin are the only ones to hit double figures — and both are the wrong side of 30.
Tuchel was right to compare losing Kane to Argentina losing Messi. He isn’t just a striker — he’s the difference.
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There is hope on the horizon — Jay Stansfield, Jonathan Rowe, Ethan Nwaneri, Omari Hutchinson and Arsenal’s teenage winger Max Dowman are all exciting prospects — and Lee Carsley’s back-to-back European Under-21 titles show the pipeline is working.
But that’s tomorrow’s story.
England fans booed at Wembley in midweek, but their misery is nothing compared to Italy’s.
The Azzurri have failed to qualify for a third successive World Cup, going out on penalties to Bosnia-Herzegovina.
The last time Italy played in a World Cup knockout game was 2006 — when they won it.
Since then, England have had eight Prime Ministers, nine managers, Leicester have won the league — and a pint was £2.45.
The four-time world champs absent again.
Although spare a thought for the fans who did qualify yet can’t afford to go.
World Cup ticket prices haven’t just crept up — they’ve been launched into orbit.
The best seats for the final are pushing £8,000.
Standard tickets are running into the thousands.
This is supposed to be the world’s game, not a corporate jolly for those who can afford it.
There will be a limited number of cheaper tickets, but for most fans they’ll be about as easy to get hold of as a front-row seat at Wimbledon on finals day.
The truth is simple: The very supporters who create the atmosphere — who follow their teams through thick and thin — are being priced out of the game.
It’s shameful.
As for England — just pray for a fit Harry Kane.
Because right now, he is the difference between a tournament and a very expensive short holiday.
