Don’t call illegal immigrants illegal immigrants, because it’s offensive terminology. Don’t call transgender people by their original name, because it offends them. And don’t call President Donald Trump a clown because it offends … wait, huh?
In further proof of my little-shared conspiracy theory that Mad Magazine has been quietly rebranded as The Washington Post, the capital’s putative newspaper of record decided to publish an opinion piece by a clown named Tim Cunningham who is Very Much Not Happy that liberals keep offhandedly referring to the current president as a clown.
You’d think that, between The Joker, Pennywise, Insane Clown Posse, John Wayne Gacy, and that clown that drove the missile-laden demonically possessed ice-cream truck in the Playstation vehicular combat game “Twisted Metal,” [ed. note: his name is Sweet Tooth] the modern harlequin had enough of a bad rap without focusing on one Donald John Trump, but apparently this is a bridge too far.
The initial piece, as published, was given the po-faced headline, “I’m a clown. Donald Trump is not one of us.” This original headline apparently sounded a bit too ridiculous by the paper’s standards, such as they exist, and it was changed to “Donald Trump is not a clown. I should know.”
When I saw a story from the Washington Post titled “I’m a clown,” I just assumed it was the editorial board and staff finally admitting what we’ve all known for years pic.twitter.com/jQc27v9NUv
— Ian Miller (@ianmSC) July 10, 2025
The contents of the story, however, remained decidedly fatuous, as Mr. Cunningham — the board president of Clowns Without Borders, who also goes by the nom du clown “Dr. Bumble” — was there “to set the record straight.”
Here is “the record,” such as it is:
I have performed as a professional clown for 24 years. Clown, capital C, is a valuable and varied art form; pantomimes, acrobats, magicians, dancers, stand-up comedians, vaudeville artists and jugglers are all examples of artists who incorporate Clown into their work. Whether you know it as Clown or not, you’ve probably seen it. From stage clowns such as Bill Irwin to the characters of Cirque du Soleil, created by masters such as Michelle Matlock and Mooky Cornish; from pedagogical ensembles, such as Pig Iron or Spymonkey, to health care clown organizations such as the Laughter League and Healthy Humor. Clown is huge.
Is Donald Trump a clown?
Clown demands years, if not a lifetime, of study. Consider the physical virtuosity of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, or the impeccable comedic timing of Mr. Bean. What’s more, Clown is not an invention of the modern era; several ancient Indigenous cultures revere a sacred clown figure. For example, the Očhéthi Šakówiŋ (Sioux) people celebrate the heyoka, an honorable community member who uses humor to shed light on societal problems.
You want real laughs? Try saying the words “clown is huge” to yourself in the mirror and attempt to keep a straight face. Really, you can’t.
Anyhow, enough with the opening lecture to the Oberlin class “From Chaplin to Šakówiŋ: The Pantomime as Situationist Resistance.” For those of you still following, we gradually transition to the point, which is that clowns spread “the “common values of healing, empathy and reflection. Our work touches people in need of joy everywhere.”
He goes on to talk about “humanitarian clowning,” which is apparently a thing and involves traveling to “hospitals, war zones, refugee camps and homeless shelters” to bring joy. (Haven’t these poor souls endured enough terror?)
“Yet, our joyful work has been diminished into an insult. Every election season, the word ‘clown’ resurfaces to compare tumultuous Washington politics to a circus. Political commentators and social media users are not the only ones who wrongfully sling this jibe,” Cunningham groused. “’Clown’ is used by almost everyone to belittle those seen as foolish or incompetent. The more we mistreat the word, the more we lose understanding of a sacred art form.”
So, after mewling over the fact we were using the word “clown” wrongly, Cunningham decided to close by using another word wrongly. See if you can spot it. Or if you can’t, I’ve bolded it:
Let’s find a better metaphor to despise and depose fascism. Keep Clown out of Trumpian comparisons and, for that matter, all politics. Offer Clown the respect it deserves and invoke us for good: in alliance with other artists, activists and humans who believe in a better, happier world.
For centuries, clowns have been uniting people in laughter, levity and creativity. That’s what real clowns have to offer. If you’re still stuck on the broken comparison ingrained in our national dialogue, here’s an alternative: Try “buffoon.”
Just so we’re clear, “Dr. Bumble” spent a not-inconsiderable number of column inches bellyaching about the incorrect usage of the word “clown” to describe politicians in general — and one politician in particular — then called the democratically elected, constitutionally constrained guy he was whinging about a “fascist.”
You have to give it to the guy: He is indeed a clown.
Beyond that, though, the mere existence of the piece raises more questions than it answers. For starters: Who thought this was a tenable idea? How did this get published? What was the point?
Did Jeff Bezos give every gatekeeper possible at the WaPo two months off to plan his Venetian wedding and ensure Lauren Sánchez had the unimpeded supply of lip-filler she apparently needs to maintain that look she’s going for? Was the lack of actual news after the Big Beautiful Bill passed so acute that the opinion page had to be turned over to “Dr. Bumble’s Woke Harlequinery History Hour?” Is Trump’s Department of Transportation cracking down on 1968 VW Bugs that carry 37 passengers or more, and someone decided urgent action was needed to save the clown car?
But yes, Mr. Cunningham/Bumble, we can agree on one thing: Donald Trump is not a clown. For one thing, he’s funny. And he’s not in the employ of the Washington Post.
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