Danny Dyer has opened up about his ‘childhood trauma’ and how he was sent to a psychiatrist after his dad left.
The EastEnders star, 47, revealed his father Antony left when he was just nine after having a two-year affair and ‘running’ a secret second family.
Speaking to Lauren Laverne on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, Danny candidly discussed the trauma of being left at such a young age and how he bottled up trauma throughout his life.
‘He’s one of the best actors that I’ve seen, that I’ve met,’ Danny said. ‘Because how on earth that he did that. Like Christmas Day he would disappear for a couple of hours and you would think “Where is he going?”.’
After his dad left, Danny grew very close to his grandfather – a ‘big, hairy man’ who taught him that masculinity and affection could co-exist.
But his grandfather’s tragic death from cancer was traumatic for the actor. ‘Another male strong figure who either dies or leaves me,’ he said.
Danny Dyer has opened up about his ‘childhood trauma’ and how he was sent to a psychiatrist after his dad left amid a two-year affair and ‘running’ a secret second family
Speaking to Lauren Laverne on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs , Danny candidly discussed the trauma of being left at such a young age and how he bottled up trauma throughout his life
‘I watched this man deteriorate over a period of six months and it was the first time I’d really been introduced to cancer and it was difficult. You know this is the stuff that comes out I think later in life, you put it away somewhere. But I had a lot of, again, anger – and grief.’
His grandfather was a strong figure in Danny’s life, and in an environment where men were cold, tough and unfeeling, he made him feel loved.
‘Again this was about the masculinity thing as my dad left when I was 9 and I got really close with my grandfather,’ he said. ‘I’ll tell you what it was about the masculinity, with masculinity you’re not allowed to be affectionate.
‘But my granda was a big, hairy man, a painter and decorator, always had a roll-up in his mouth, was really affectionate with kids.
‘You were allowed to sit on his lap and watch telly with him. And I went “Oh so you can be masculine and affectionate”.’
Danny’s mother and father divorced after his affair, from which the actor has two other sisters, was unveiled.
‘My mum found out because the person he was having the affair with knew about my mum and stuff so she ran up and told her,’ Danny said.
‘I remember yeah. I remember my mum sort of collapsing on the floor while on the phone, on the landline back in the day, with my sister in her arms and me and my brother are sort of thinking “Wow this is heavy”. It was something out of EastEnders I suppose, it was a doof doof.’
After his dad left, Danny grew very close to his grandfather – a ‘big, hairy man’ who taught him that masculinity and affection could co-exist (Danny seen in March)
His grandfather was a strong figure in Danny’s life, and in an environment where men were cold, tough and unfeeling, he made him feel loved (Danny seen in 2009)
Danny struggled with the divorce and admitted he blamed his mother because she was ‘the only one in front of me’. ‘I was angry with the world I suppose,’ he said.
He was acting up at school during the fall out from the break up and was sent for counselling.
‘I went to a psychiatrist as a child and I had to sit in a room and play, weirdly, with a doll’s house and there would be figures like “This is mummy, this is daddy” and I could never quite understand what therapy was,’ he said.
‘[He was referred] because I was really struggling in school. I was really playing it up and it really did affect me. I suppose I wanted answers, because how do you explain to a nine-year-old really.’
One of Danny’s closest friends during his difficult teenage years was a stray dog called Sam, who he said helped him through ‘a lot of trauma’.
‘I had a lovely little dog called Sam who was my little best mate,’ he said. ‘He was a little ginger dog and he had a white question mark on his back but he never had a lead and he would come and hang out with me all the time.
‘He was intuitive. He got me through a lot of trauma. I just lay there by the radiator in the passageway just cuddling him, stroking him.’
But when Danny was 17 years old, and working away on a shoot, he received a devastating call to say Sam had died. Surprisingly, it was his dad who called.
He said: ‘It was my dad who rang me up and he was crying for the first time. I’d never heard him cry about nothing.
‘He sort of left the house didn’t shed a tear then my dog died and he was in bits over it.’
