IMAGINE if Maccy D’s did a Statue of Liberty takeover.
Or if Wetherspoon’s had a Thursday curry club menu hanging off the side of Big Ben.
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It’s a bit like the French sticking 250,000 bulbs on the Eiffel Tower to spell out CITROEN in 100ft letters.
Actually, that last one did happen in 1925 and lit up Paris for nine years.
The ad was so bright it could be seen for 60 miles.
Legend has it that Charles Lindbergh, the first man to fly across the Atlantic, used it to guide him towards Le Bourget airport as he came in to land in 1927.
The car company’s founder, Andre Citroen, was a genius marketeer.
He illuminated other landmarks including the Arc de Triomphe and the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in his time.
There’s a bit more red tape to deal with today.
One hundred years on, Citroen’s “Electric Show” amounted to a measly six Ami quadricycles parked alongside the River Seine, lighting the way for a random street dance act.
And that was about it.
That’s progress for you.
Thought they’d at least send up some drones.
The actual reason I’m in Paris is because Citroen has refreshed its entire model line-up in the last 12 months — all with a plug. Everyone is doing electric cars. But Citroen is doing six at prices more of us can afford.
All under £35k. We’re getting there, aren’t we?
It starts with Ami.
The titchy two-seater costs £7,695. Not my cup of tea, if I’m honest. But I do like the open-air Ami Buggy that’s coming soon.
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Amazing what taking the doors off can do.
Ami will zip around for 46 miles, recharges in four hours and has a 28mph top speed.
Everything we discuss from here on out has the option of a petrol engine. Which makes them cheaper and more convenient. But today we’re talking electric Citroens.
The first proper car is the e-C3. Two battery sizes. One that’ll do 124 miles for £20k. One that’ll nudge 200 miles for £22k.
Not as cool as a Renault 5 but loads more space in the back. There’s a C3 van coming soon.
Next up is the £23k e-C3 Aircross, a C3 that has been s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d by 30cm to make the cabin even roomier.
The petrol has a seven-seat option. But not the EV. The e-C4 is a £28k family hatchback. Not a faux SUV. I already like it. The French VW Golf if you like.
The 51kWh version gives you 156hp under your right foot and a range of about 256 miles.
Copy and paste the £29k e-C4 X, a saloon with a big boot.
Finally, the £35k e-C5 Aircross is Citroen’s new flagship arriving in September.
Same menu of motors and batteries as a Vauxhall Grandland but with French styling, an upright touchscreen and a squishier ride. The biggest 97kWh battery nudges 422 miles.
One thing I will say is that all these cars are super comfy with sofa-like seats and pillow-soft suspension. That’s the Citroen way.
They’re also priced to sell.
Citroen UK boss Greg Taylor said: “We’re never going to be the cheapest but equally, as other brands have pushed further upmarket, a white space has been created and that’s where we sit.
“The cars look good, they’re comfortable, they have the right level of technology, and people can afford them.
“We have five cars under 30 grand you can buy today. So they’re not coming in six months. They’re not coming in 18 months. They’re here today.
“No one else can say that.”
This summer Citroen will be launching a service-activated eight-year warranty.
Another bright idea.
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