BUKAYO SAKA lay in his hospital bed on Christmas Eve, doubting whether he would be as good a player in the future as he had been in the past.
But thanks to a self-help book and the mindful joy of a new puppy, the England and Arsenal star has returned from hamstring surgery focused only on the present.
And it is that perspective that can help put a frustrating campaign — that began with a Euros final loss for England and ended trophyless for his club — behind him.
Saka, 23, said: “I was not happy with last season — how it went and how it ended.
“But the only thing I can do now is look forward and try to be the best version of myself and help my team-mates be the same.”
The Londoner went under the knife on December 24 after sustaining the injury three days prior in a 5-1 win at Crystal Palace.
In typical, kind fashion, he opted to do the procedure 24 hours before Christmas so the surgeons could be with their nearest and dearest the following day.
He made it home to spend Christmas with his loved ones but what followed was nearly four months out which he used for self-reflection.
The Gunners talisman said: “I had gone from five years straight playing football, either involved with the team every single day training or playing games. Everything stops.
“You are on crutches, in hospital and need help around the house for the first few weeks.
Join SUN CLUB for the Chelsea Files every Tuesday plus
in-depth coverage and exclusives from Stamford Bridge
“I got to spend more time with my family and got to do little things around the house that I wouldn’t have even paid attention to when I was playing.
“On that note it was nice and I’ve come back with a bit more of a balanced head about football and life, and I’m trying to balance them better. It definitely helped me mentally.
“The first two days were the toughest, that realisation that I’ve got what I’ve got and I need an operation.
“You start to think, ‘Am I going to be the same?’ as players came back from this injury and weren’t the same.
“After two days my surgery was done, and successful, and you just look forward. I was really positive and put in all the work I needed with my diet, in the gym, on the pitch and the physios would say the same. I feel I’ve come back in a good place.”
Saka is a keen reader of non-fiction and was inspired by a recommendation from Arsenal assistant coach Carlos Cuesta during his time sidelined.
It is called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and its message struck a chord with the talented winger.
He added: “It’s a really good book. It’s about not thinking about the past, not thinking about the future, just being in the moment.
You start to think, ‘Am I going to be the same?’
Saka
“Sometimes I can think, ‘Oh, am I going to come back in the best shape?’ Or, in the past, ‘What could I have done to prevent injury?’
“But all that is not necessary. It’s only going to bring bad energy, negativity to your body.
“One of the best things I took from the book is always ask yourself, what’s necessary in this moment right now and try to live that way.”
Saka spent Christmas Day in a brace and on crutches at his cousin’s, having had surgery at 5am the previous day.
He claimed it took him “ten minutes” to get to the dining room for dinner.
So when his lively new Cockapoo called Tucker turned up soon after, it was not easy “to get after him”, as Saka put it, even if having the pooch has been a “good and funny experience”.
On Tuesday against Senegal at Nottingham Forest’s City Ground, Saka hopes to feature for the first time under Thomas Tuchel, who he describes as “demanding and intense” on the grass but “relaxed and nice” off it.
Former Chelsea and Bayern Munich chief Tuchel has been brought in with the sole remit of winning the World Cup next year after a series of near-misses under predecessor Gareth Southgate.
The German has won all three of his games, without conceding a goal, but underwhelmed with performances, especially in Saturday’s drab 1-0 victory over Andorra in Barcelona.
And Saka admits England sometimes have a motivation issue against the smaller nations.
But the bottom line — and Saka knows this best after a tough 12 months — is that winning is what matters most.
He added: “Every player is different and I can’t answer for every player but naturally in the bigger games everyone is going to give a bit more.
“In these other games we need to find a level where we can maintain that same quality and drive and hunger for the whole game.
“It’s not easy at times but we need to find that and get these games over the line.
“The Andorra game, we still won, got another three points on the board and kept a clean sheet. It’s job done.
“The expectation is to win, rather than entertain. If you can have both, then perfect. But we feel more the expectation is to win than to entertain.”