As The Celebrity Traitors ended with a nailbiting draw after last night’s banishment vote, you could almost hear the collective groan from the eight million viewers watching, incredulous at the Faithfuls’ sheer ineptitude when it comes to finding a Traitor.
Compounding our frustration was the fact that, on so many occasions, they have come agonisingly close to identifying the most obvious Traitor of all: Jonathan Ross.
For nights on end, we’ve watched his name get whispered in the corridors of the castle. A name check over a glass of wine in the kitchen. Some of the more switched-on contestants have even accused him to his face.
Yet after four banishment ceremonies, Ross looks safer than ever. Last night’s show ended with contestants locked in the show’s first ever tie. The two at risk of banishment are David Olusoga and Mark Bonnar – both faithful – and each have a 50/50 chance of survival. We will see who makes it in tonight’s episode.
Meanwhile Jonathan, along with his accomplices Alan Carr and Cat Burns, will be free to murder another.
So how on earth is he getting away with it?
After ten years of reporting on showbusiness, I think I know the answer.
These celebrities know ‘the game’, and I don’t mean The Traitors. They know the industry is built on who you know – and how they can help you out.
On so many occasions, the Faithfuls have come agonisingly close to identifying the most obvious Traitor of all: Jonathan Ross
Jonathan, pictured next to actress Celia Imrie, even had the audacity to bump off actress Ruth Codd, after she came within a hair’s breadth of outing him as a Traitor
I am now convinced that the only way that Jonathan will leave is if Cat Burns and Alan Carr, pictured, turn against him, writes Grant Tucker
I believe it is the Faithfuls’ ruthless ambition that is keeping Ross safe – whether he knows it or not.
Out of the 19 contestants who entered Ardross Castle, it is the ITV host who’s clearly the best-connected: he has interviewed Paloma Faith, Sir Stephen Fry, Tom Daley, Alan Carr, Charlotte Church, Clare Balding and Lucy Beaumont and Joe Marler on The Jonathan Ross Show over the years.
And those stars will be hankering for a return invite – all too aware their names aren’t starry enough to expect one from the BBC’s chat show king, Graham Norton, anytime soon.
It is the only explanation for how Jonathan has got away with his treacherous deeds, despite fingers being pointed frequently in his direction.
Jonathan even had the audacity to bump off actress Ruth Codd, after she came within a hair’s breadth of outing him as a Traitor. When she was swiftly dispatched shortly after, attention, of course, turned to Jonathan – with some players claiming it was obvious he’d ‘murder’ his accuser. But he managed to double bluff his way out of that too.
As a self-confessed Traitors superfan, Jonathan will undoubtedly know that frequent mention of his famous pals and chatshow heyday gives him a better chance of staying in the game.
But Jonathan’s nemesis Ruth saw through it. She knew that her cynical celebrity co-stars had formed a hidden hierarchy that put certain, less famous, players ‘at a disadvantage’.
After she was taken by the hooded rogues, she confessed: ‘I knew this was coming. I was murdered definitely because I was a threat to the traitors. I was one of the few people in the group that had my own mind.’
She later added that the competition became ‘quite isolated’, as she explained: ‘You don’t have a phone, you don’t have a TV, you’ve no idea what’s going on in the outside world, so it’s all you’re thinking about.’
‘There was probably an unspoken hierarchy in there,’ she said, ‘and that placed certain people like myself at a disadvantage, because I haven’t been in the industry very long.’
That pecking order has been obvious to viewers, too. The first celebrities voted off by their fellow stars were YouTuber Niko Omilana and Eastenders actress Tameka Empson.
‘But what about household name Clare Balding?’ I hear you cry. Well, frankly, if you are a ruthlessly ambitious star, the only leg-up Clare is going to give you is onto a horse.
And now the faithful have turned on historian Olusoga and Scottish actor Bonnar, hardly superstars in the firmament by showbiz standards.
This ‘unspoken hierarchy’ has by no means ruined the show. Far from it. Watching the Faithfuls utterly fail at the task in front of them is delicious to watch.
But this is a very different game from the regular Traitors series – and Ross knows it.
I take my hat off to him. Jonathan has worked in television since 1987. He has not only studied the game well, but he understands what makes his celebrity co-stars tick.
So much so, I am now convinced that the only way that Jonathan will leave is if Cat and Alan turn against him.
But if they rely on the supposed ‘genius’ of Sir Stephen, who has so far managed to vote for a faithful at each count, or Kate Garraway, who has all the awareness of a blind bat, then heaven help the Faithfuls. They are going to need it.
