My name is Alexandra and I’m a shopping addict. I became aware of this condition only the other morning when I woke up and realised that with no DHL, Evri or Amazon delivery scheduled for that day I felt bereft. Something was missing.
I’ve always liked going shopping, but this craving is of a different order. At some point – and we can probably pin it, like so many things, on Covid – my delight in wandering around shops to see if anything struck my fancy has grown into a full-on compulsion to have a continual stream of new buys arriving at my front door.
Key to the addiction is that it has very little to do with what you are actually buying. There’s scarcely any difference in the satisfaction derived from scooping up a beautiful object that will live in your house for years, to that of something completely disposable like the flip-flops I am expecting any moment now.
Online shopping addicts get their hit at the point they click ‘buy’. This is the moment when all seems right with the world, but like all addictions the satisfaction is short-lived. The Alcoholics Anonymous mantra of ‘one is too many and a thousand is never enough’ applies as much to shopping on the web as it does to booze.
As soon as the packaging is torn open, the temptation to start looking for something else to buy rears its head.
The joy of a purchase disappears completely if the item needs to be sent back. You are then faced with the bother of repackaging it and the gloomy trek to the post office.
The other day I had the double whammy of having to return two compulsive purchases. One was a pair of navy trousers I was convinced would be my go-to for the rest of the summer, only to discover I was too short and their decorative fringe was going to sweep the floor. The other was a tool intended to turn my hair into silken locks, which simply didn’t work.
I’ve always liked going shopping, but this craving is of a different order. At some point – and we can probably pin it, like so many things, on Covid – my delight in wandering around shops to see if anything struck my fancy has grown into a full-on compulsion to have a continual stream of new buys arriving at my front door. Pictured: File photo
Key to the addiction is that it has very little to do with what you are actually buying. Pictured: File photo
As soon as the packaging is torn open, the temptation to start looking for something else to buy rears its head. Pictured: Alexandra Shulman
The only compensation of having to return both was the thought of a substantial refund.
But the pain of returning things is not enough to stop me seeking the next buzz. So is it any wonder online shopping fuels excessive spending for many people?
I know one man who has a plant problem – splashing out hundreds on bulbs from his bed in the middle of the night. Another friend has an M&S habit, which fortunately for her, if not for them, has been curtailed temporarily by the recent cyber attack.
Even as I write this, I have been alerted to a substantial price drop on a Mint Velvet white shirt I have recently been dithering over, in an attempt to hold back. Reader, I gave in and bought it.
Kids foot the bill? Don’t bank on it!
According to wealth manager Moneyfarm, while the Bank of Mum and Dad continues to bail out children, growing numbers of parents would like their offspring to buy them a drink by the time they are 26 and a
meal by the age of 27. But change may be a long time coming. Taking my 30-year-old son out for dinner the other day in one of those incredibly expensive but supremely relaxed looking joints in fashionable North London, I noticed two things.
One was that despite the hefty prices, the place was packed on a Sunday night. The other was that there were several tables like ours, that were clearly parents dining with their grown-up kids. And in each case – us included – it was the oldies who ended up paying the bill.
Wobbly Lime bikers should take road test
If I don’t end up killing a Lime bike rider, it’s going to be a miracle.
I know that us car drivers are meant to share the roads with others, but it’s become nearly impossible to avoid a collision with some crazy idiot on two wheels.
It was bad enough having to navigate around the endless Deliveroo motorcyclists and the possessed Lycra-clad demons pounding their way to work. But these battery-powered rental bikes, generally ridden by people who appear not to know where they are going, are proving to be a greater danger.
The riders almost never wear helmets, they travel (or rather, wobble) at speed, and those of us in cars are stuck at 20mph trying not to crash into one as they blithely overtake on the inside.
Lime bikes are just as dangerous as cars and there ought to be some kind of proficiency test to make sure those who hire them at least know the basics of road safety.
I know that us car drivers are meant to share the roads with others, but it’s become nearly impossible to avoid a collision with some crazy idiot on two wheels. Pictured: Rental bikes scattered across a pavement in London
Soothing thwacks make SW19 a joy
Wimbledon fortnight is such a delight. Not only does it provide stunning displays of athleticism and exceptionally good-looking players in thrilling matches, there’s also the celebrity fashion show in the Royal Box to enjoy.
However, my main pleasure doesn’t involve watching the tennis at all – it’s the soundtrack.
The thwack of the balls, the measured commentary (in contrast to the stressful yelling that accompanies football) and the clapping of the crowd make for a wonderfully soothing noise to keep on in the background all day.
Sarah, a chic poster woman for disability
My heroine of the week is Sarah de Lagarde, who was in the High Court for her case against London Underground.
Despite losing two limbs when she slipped off a wet platform and was hit by two Tube trains, she turned up for the hearing looking absolutely amazing.
Her fitted white lace dress and gleaming white trainers were accessorised by a prosthetic limb and a bionic arm. A brave poster woman for disability, for sure.
My heroine of the week is Sarah de Lagarde, who was in the High Court for her case against London Underground
England expected less of rascal Nelson
I bet Sir Ben Key wishes he didn’t live in modern times.
Recently sacked as head of the Navy for having a relationship with a subordinate, he might consider the difference between himself and Admiral Nelson.
Back in the 18th century, the married Nelson had a very public affair with the also married Lady Hamilton. Although eyebrows were raised, he kept his job and his reputation.
