It was December 23 in 1975 when a homeless man decided to knock on a door in Cardiff, in one hand a bin bag holding everything he owned and in the other, a frozen chicken.
Rob Parsons and his wife Dianne were preparing for Christmas inside when they heard the door go.
Rob opened the door to the man standing, armed with the chicken and his bin bag.
It took a moment but Mr Parsons realised he knew this man, it was Ronnie Lockwood – a kid from Sunday school he had known, one who he was told was ‘a bit different’.
Little did he know that this moment would define the next 45 years of Ronnie’s and the Parsons’ lives.
‘I said “Ronnie, what’s with the chicken?”‘ Rob told the BBC, ‘He said “somebody gave it to me for Christmas.”
‘And then I said two words that changed all of our lives. And I’m not exactly sure why I said them.
‘I said come in.’
Ronnie Lockwood showed up at Rob and Dianne Parson’s door at Christmas in 1975 but never left their side until his death in 2020
Ronnie was 30 when he arrived at Rob and Dianne’s home who were aged 26 and 27 at the time
The couple were aged 26 and 27, with Rob starting out on his career as a solicitor and set up to a be a partner at his law firm. He and Dianne had been married for four years.
Ronnie was 30 and had been without a home since he was 15, moving from job to job in and around Cardiff, and sometimes bumped into Rob at a youth club he ran.
‘Life had taken us in very different directions’, Rob told the Daily Mail speaking about the apparent stranger at his door.
They met at Sunday school as boys – Rob was from an ‘impoverished but loving family’ while Ronnie came from a children’s home ‘having been removed from his family aged eight and had what we now call “learning difficulties”‘, Rob said.
He continued: ‘Ronnie had been terribly injured when an initiation ceremony at the children’s home went wrong.
‘He was never again able to straighten his legs without pain.
‘Aged 11, he was sent hundreds of miles away to a school for ‘subnormal boys’, then at 16 brought back to Cardiff and dumped, alone, in a dingy bedsit with a few kitchen utensils.’
All this led for the two to be reunited and a beautifully unique 45 year long story of companionship until Ronnie died.
Ronnie had learning difficulties but Rob and Dianne always accommodated for him, helping him land his job as a dustman
They led him inside and from there they decided to make him feel as welcome as possible – telling their family to bring him presents over.
Dianne told the BBC: ‘I can remember him now. He was sat at the Christmas table and he had these presents and he cried because he’d never known that sort of feeling of love, you know.
‘It was incredible, really, to watch.’
‘Tender-hearted’ Dianne insisted that Ronnie should eat with the couple, then stay the night.
‘The next day was Christmas Eve,’ Rob said, ‘We couldn’t throw him out on a day like that, could we? Then Christmas Day, then…’
Finally they decided they would look after him until he found his feet with a job on the advice from the local homeless shelter.
After a while of living with Dianne and Rob, tidying their kitchen and waking up early in the morning as thanks for letting him stay, he landed a job as a ‘waste operative’ – a dustman.
Rob had been taking him to the job centre to find work and it showed how his compassion had already caught Ronnie his first break – he needed an address in order to be able to sign on at the job centre which he could now put down as Rob’s.
Rob and Dianne had been married for four years when Ronnie came into their lives
As the first day of the new job was approaching, the couple decided they needed to kit Ronnie out with new clothes, a seemingly normal activity that highlighted the deprivation that Ronnie had been living with.
Dianne asked him: ‘When did you last buy clothes?’
‘I haven’t bought any,’ he said. ‘In the children’s homes, they gave you clothes.’
‘That was a long time ago,’ said Dianne.
‘I know. But they lasted.’
He didn’t know anything about the sizes he wore or even own any underpants but the couple managed to deck him out with a whole new wardrobe.
The first day came, and Dianne said Rob should take him to work in his car.
It was 6am in the morning and a nervous Ronnie was sat at the breakfast table in his new clothes.
Ronnie was a particular help to the family when Dianne became ill with ME, helping make the baby bottles and clean up any sick from the babies or worse
He didn’t say a word the whole 10 minute trip to the depot and when he got out of the car he shuffled towards the group of men there talking and laughing.
‘As he went towards them, dragging his feet, he looked out of place – isolated’, Rob said.
‘As I drove away, I started to cry.’
However, on Ronnie’s return he triumphantly told of his day at work with great energy, talking of different bin types and reporting that ‘Mr Clarkson [his supervisor] said I’m perfect as a binman.’
As time went on there were certain problems and frustrations that arose with Ronnie, who Rob later said used to think similar to how a child might.
He struggled with a gambling addiction for nearly 20 years, a problem that showed itself on his first pay check when Rob found he had withdrawn money to play fruit machines.
But despite this, Ronnie showed off beautiful qualities – always looking for ways he could help Rob and Dianne, especially after Dianne had two children – Katie and Lloyd.
While Rob was working hard, expanding his law firm, it was Ronnie who stepped up to help looking after the kids.
The couple were at Ronnie’s side when he passed away from a stroke in hospital in 2020
He helped make up the baby’s bottles, or sat with Katie watching TV while Rob tried to get Lloyd to sleep.
It came into particular focus in October 1980 when Dianne was diagnosed with ME – also known as chronic fatigue.
Ron came home one day to find Dianne in tears and she told him: ‘I don’t know what’s happening to me.
‘I feel as if I’m walking around in a fog… I don’t think I can cope any more.’
Battling her illness together with Ronnie helped show Rob a change in their then five year long relationship.
Rob said: ‘Ronnie and I were in this together. Somebody we both loved was ill and we were trying to get her through it.
‘Before this, I had been a combination of ad hoc social worker and surrogate father, but suddenly he became a friend – and perhaps the brother I never had.’
Ronnie was also fiercely keen to help others in the community, helping manage to local football team, washing up at the homeless shelter and being an avid member at the church – helping arranging chairs for events.
Seven years later, the couple thought it might be a good idea to get Ronnie his own flat, after 11 years in his job, in order to give him independence.
But before they suggested it, they decided not to as they knew he would see it as a punishment – he wanted to be with them not live life on his own.
The children had also never known life without him, Katie saying ‘I love Ronnie, he’s kind’ on one evening he spent watching TV with her.
They decided to keep him in their family home.
But sadly in 2020, this beautiful companionship came to an end.
Rob received a call from Ronnie when he was working downstairs, asking him to come up to his room.
He rushed upstairs to his dear friend and found him on the floor, unable to get up.
They called an ambulance who rushed him to hospital but they could not come with him due to Covid restrictions.
They discovered he had had a stroke and lost control over half of his body.
A few days later they received a call reporting he had another stroke and were told they should come as soon as possible.
Rob and Dianne raced to the hospital to see their friend before he passed away.
When they got there, a sign read: ‘Due to Covid restrictions, only one visitor per patient is allowed.’
When the nurse arrived however, Dianne firmly told her: ‘We really appreciate all you are doing under such difficult circumstances, but Mr Lockwood lived with us for 45 years.
‘We are all he has and we are both going to be with him as he dies.’
The nurse let the couple pass and led them to Ronnie’s bed.
When they got there and pulled up a chair, Dianne took his hand.
He seemed to stir briefly.
Meanwhile, a grief stricken Rob went to the window but something came over him, a need to do something.
He walked over to Ronnie’s bed and put his arms around him in a tight embrace – something he had never done in the 45 years they had lived together.
Rob said: ‘I wished with all my heart I could turn back the clock. As I clutched his almost lifeless body, and with tears running down my face, I whispered: “I love you, Ronnie.”‘
There they sat in the darkness. Thinking over words never said and times they could have been kinder.
‘And yet I think we also knew that was foolish: if there had been no regrets, there would have been no love.’
