A man says he is still a virgin at 47 as he is ‘petrified’ to be intimate with anyone.
Andrew Brookman says he’s always been ‘timid’ and struggled with bullying at school.
His parents divorced when he was aged 10 which fuelled his fear of being social, getting into a relationship or being intimate with anyone, he claims.
Andrew didn’t want to go through arguments and had a ‘fear of life’ so felt he would ‘rather be on my own’.
He says his fears also stemmed from suppressing his sexuality and homophobia he saw at the time he was growing up.
Porn became his ‘only outlet’ and reference for sex and Andrew says he struggled with an addiction to watching it for up to a two hours a night everyday when he was in his 30s.
Now he is starting to open up about his sexuality and is no longer ashamed of being a 47-year-old-virgin.
He feels he can relate to those on Channel 4’s new show, Virgin Island – a unique course in intimacy to help them overcome the fears that are holding them back.
Andrew Brookman (pictured) says he is petrified of being intimate with anyone, and is a virgin at the age of 47
Andrew, a cleaner, from Pontypridd, Wales, said: ‘I’ve never been in a relationship.
‘Watching other people get divorced – and seeing arguments gave me a fear of being social and intimate.
‘I didn’t want to go through all that.
‘I’d rather be on my own.
‘You feel a sense of shame [being a virgin].
‘Having no confidence, no self-esteem and no self-worth and being repressed of sex drove me to seek therapy because I was petrified of getting intimate with anybody.
According to Andrew (pictured) he has always ‘felt different’, and has always been ‘timid and quiet’
NOT ASHAMED: While Andrew says he used to feel a sense of shame about being a virgin, he no longer feels that way now
Writing his book – titled Colours of a rare bird – helped Andrew (pictured) overcome his sense of shame
‘I am not ashamed of being a virgin at 47.’
Andrew struggled growing up and always felt he was ‘different’.
He said: ‘I’ve always been timid and quiet.
‘I’ve always been afraid, I’ve always been emotional.
‘I got bullied in school.
‘I was different. I was odd.’
As a teenager he ‘fancied girls’ but didn’t know how to progress any further.
He said: ‘I wanted to move forward but I couldn’t because of my confidence.’
At aged 16, Andrew realised he was attracted to men and gay but he was fearful of opening up about his sexuality due to homophobia in society at the time.
He said: ‘The fear grew.
‘I went into the closet.’
In his late 20s he had therapy and was put on anti-depressants but Andrew still struggled to get passed his fear.
When he was in his thirties, Andrew (pictured) developed a pornography addiction – he watched two hours every night
He also tackled a porn addiction in his 30s when he got his own place – which saw him watch gay porn every night.
Andrew said: ‘It was my only outlet. It was my only way of feeling sex and seeing sex.
‘I wanted to be doing it as well. I was jealous of them [the porn stars].
‘I was enraged that I couldn’t even have sex in private.’
Now he is starting to let his walls down by writing a book – Colours of a rare bird.
He says writing how he feels down has helped him overcome shame and he has volunteered for the first time ever at his local pride.
The Virgin Island cast – Zac, Charlotte, Pia, Ben, Taylor, Emma, Tom, Jason, Dave, Viraj, Holly, and Louise
Dave was the only Virgin Island castmate to lose his virginity during the filming of the reality TV show
Dog groomer Holly, 23, went on to have sex after Virgin Island wrapped. She was so excited, she immediately shared the news with her co-stars
Andrew says he dislikes that people will laugh about others being virgins.
He said: ‘It’s not funny. By now I should be openly gay – I should be in a relationship.
‘I’m not afraid to admit it now [that he’s a virgin].’
The topic of virginity has been front and centre in popular culture due to the popularity of reality show Virgin Island.
The six-part series featured 12 individuals who were still virgins – Zac, Charlotte, Pia, Ben, Taylor, Emma, Tom, Jason, Dave, Viraj, Holly, and Louise.
They all travelled to Croatia with the aim of losing their virginity on camera.
Aged between 22 and 30 years old, the first-timers worked with a range of sex and relationship coaches, sexologists, ‘bodyworkers’ and even tantric masseurs to help them overcome their fears of intimacy.
29-year-old care worker Charlotte grew as a person and has since been ‘more comfortable in my skin and in romantic situations’
Admin worker Jason, 25, has joined dating app Hinge
After her time in Croatia, Pia reunited with one of her exes
Personal trainer Viraj, 25, was very flirty with his co-star Emma during the retreat
Those on the coaching team ranged from four to 20-plus years older than the young virgins.
They used their wealth of knowledge to guide them in one-on-one and group sessions throughout the course of the show.
Dave, 24, had sex at the end of the retreat, with Holly going on to lose her virginity after filming ended in Summer 2024.
The cast have a chat group, and according to Holly, she messaged the chat ‘almost as soon as it happened’, as she was ‘excited to tell them’.
Meanwhile, Charlotte, a 29-year-old care worker grew as a person while taking part in the retreat and has since been ‘more comfortable’ in her skin, and ‘in romantic situations’.
Civil servant Ben, 30, is still a virgin, but he has been busy speed dating; Emma has yet to have sex, and has been busy traveling Down Under since the show ended; and admin worker Jason, 25, has joined dating app Hinge.
Civil servant Ben, 30, is still a virgin, but he has been busy speed dating
At the end of the programme, the show stated: ‘Zac is feeling positive for the future’
During her time on the retreat food worker Emma, 23, grew close to her co-star Viraj and after filming they did go on a date together
Louise, 22, has also been travelling around Australia. Her co-star Jason expressed an interest in her, and she said she would be down for a date with him if she decides to return home from New Zealand.
Following her time in Croatia, 23-year-old Pia reunited with one of her exes. Drama student Tom, 23, who has not yet had sex, returned to Manchester University to continue his studies.
Taylor, 29, bravely spoke out about her sexuality during the show, coming out as a lesbian, but despite growing so much as a person, she’s still not slept with anyone since the show.
Personal trainer Viraj, 25, who has yet to lose his virginity, is travelling around Australia. And delivery driver Zac, 28, was keen to lose his virginity during one of his sex surrogacy sessions during filming – but it didn’t end up happening, and he is yet to have sex.
Find out more about Andrew Brookman’s book, Colours of a rare bird, here.
