The date, at a fancy London restaurant, had been enjoyable. However, it never even crossed Sharon Gavin’s mind to invite her boyfriend of five months back to her place.
There was absolutely no way she would countenance taking him to her family home. The odd rendezvous in a hotel or a night at his house were perfectly acceptable, but no partner would ever cross her threshold.
It wasn’t that businesswoman Sharon, 50, had anything to hide; she wasn’t conducting a secret affair. But there was a ‘significant other’ in her life – and it was out of respect for them that the ‘no gentleman callers’ rule was in place.
This was someone she loved and trusted above all others; her older sister Lauretta, 53.
Both divorcees, they have lived together for 11 years while co-parenting their children – Sharon’s 12-year-old son Carter and Lauretta’s daughter Florence, 15 – in a five-bedroom house in North London.
To all intents and purposes, it’s a perfect marriage. They share everything (it’s Lauretta’s house and Sharon pays rent – while renting out her own flat elsewhere). Chores and bills are equitably apportioned. No one gets nagged about taking the bins out or leaving the toilet seat up.
The sisters are ‘utterly baffled’ when others suggest that their lives would be better if only they could find a man.
‘Couples have expectations of one another – how much attention has my partner given me? Are they still in love with me? Does their bad mood mean we’re growing apart?’ says Sharon. ‘None of those things are a factor in our sibling relationship; and, whatever is going on for me, Lauretta just gets it.
Sharon and Lauretta Gavin are ‘utterly baffled’ when others suggest that their lives would be better if only they could find a man
‘I would really struggle to meet a man who adores my son, looks after me when I’m sick, makes me laugh, listens to me moaning about the minutiae of my day and makes my dinner every night, like Lauretta does.’
As for their children, Carter and Florence are as close as siblings while each maintaining their own, special bond with their own mother.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the sisters’ approach to parenting is very similar, with both believing in lots of love and emotional support coupled with firm boundaries. Neither, they insist, is inclined to take their own child’s side in any argument, of which there are plenty.
‘I refer to them as “my kids”, because we’ve brought them up together,’ says Sharon. ‘But Carter is going to come to me if he’s upset and Florence will go to Lauretta. However, if one of us isn’t around, the other makes a good second best.’
Their children are, of course, a consideration when it comes to the no-boyfriend house rule. Lauretta explains neither will bring a man home ‘out of respect for the whole family unit’.
‘Of course, if one of us was to fall madly in love,’ she continues, ‘and really wanted a man to be part of the family we’d discuss it … but that hasn’t happened.’
Nor is either of them in any rush for it to do so.
Sharon’s longest relationship, since her marriage ended in 2014, was six months and came to an end last year. She’s steered cleared of dating apps – and dating in general – ever since.
Lauretta’s in no rush to ‘get back out there’ either. She gave up online dating when Florence was little, after realising she would rather be catching up on sleep, or watching TV, than making small talk with a random stranger in a pub. She’s been happily single since. ‘There’s a huge over-emphasis on finding romantic love,’ says Lauretta.
‘People think it’s the be-all and the end-all, whereas I believe there’s as much satisfaction to be got from our relationships with our kids, siblings and parents, without all those complications.
‘Because Sharon and I have each other, neither of us is lonely enough to put up with mediocre, let alone difficult, relationships with men.’
The Gavins, actresses who also run a wellness and retreat business together, are often reminded of how unique their situation is, mostly by women who fall into two camps: those who couldn’t think of anything worse than living with their sister, and others who envy their familial closeness.
Although it’s remarkably rare, the sisters have been known to fall out.
Memorably, a couple of years ago while on holiday in Portugal, Sharon was driving and Lauretta navigating – a flashpoint for many a romantic couple – when the shouting got so bad that Lauretta told her sister to pull over and climbed out of the car.
‘The kids, who were in the back seat, still tease us about it.’
But, otherwise, they’ve made the best of their sisterly ‘commune’.
Lauretta and her ex-husband had been together for four years when they married, separating a year later in 2009 when Lauretta was pregnant with Florence.
Although Florence has always spent time with her dad, with whom Lauretta has remained on friendly terms, it was, she says, ‘really, really tough’ being pregnant and then looking after a baby alone. Sharon, who lived nearby, stepped in to help with feeding and changing, giving Lauretta much-needed breaks.
When, four years later, Sharon’s two-year marriage ended and she found herself alone with a one-year-old son, Lauretta welcomed her sister into her home with open arms.
And boy, did Sharon need her sister’s support. Six weeks into her pregnancy, Sharon had become unwell, developing a skin rash and joint pain that got progressively worse until she was unable to stand unaided or even hold a toothbrush.
She was eventually diagnosed with the auto-immune condition dermatomyositis, which is similar to lupus, and took such a severe toll that Lauretta was like a ‘second mum’ to her son.
In their quest to get Sharon well, the sisters completely overhauled their diets, cutting out all processed food and becoming ‘teetotal vegans’. Within six years, Sharon was off the medication and no longer symptomatic.
While the arrangement was, at first, meant to be just until Sharon got back on her feet, the set-up proved so mutually beneficial that, 11 years later, neither sister has any desire to live apart.
‘We always say it was easier for me to get out of a marriage I didn’t want to be in because I could move in with my best friend and sister,’ says Sharon.
‘Also, while I’m absolutely open to having a boyfriend, and have dated, I don’t particularly want to live with a man again, uproot my son and blend a family.’
And – to be fair to both Sharon and Lauretta – it would take a very brave, and special, man to try to come between the pair of them.
They admit certain men in their lives have found their close bond intimidating, fearing that the sisters will relay every detail of their intimate relationships to one another.
The sisters’ symbiosis is striking as we sit at the large dining table in their immaculate kitchen, where Lauretta, a trained vegan chef, cooks the family meals and Sharon clears up the ‘huge amount of mess’ she makes in the process. They finish each other’s sentences and gently tease each other in that way only siblings – and those in long-term marriages – do.
The sisters have lived together for 11 years while co-parenting their children – Sharon’s 12-year-old son Carter and Lauretta’s daughter Florence, 15 – in a five-bedroom house in north London
‘You know, statistically, the happiest people are married men and single women, while the unhappiest people are married women, because they end up doing the majority of the work,’ says Lauretta.
Sharon nods, adding: ‘It’d be preferable to be in a happy family unit – mum, dad, kids – so we’re not saying this is the better alternative, just that it’s one that’s worked out really well.
‘My son would love to live full-time with both me and his dad but that isn’t how things have turned out. I feel very proud that we’ve created a home that’s so filled with love, for us and our children.’
This mutually-beneficial arrangement seems almost inevitable, given that the sisters have been effectively joined at the hip since they were tiny and shared a bed at the family home where they were raised, along with two brothers, in North London.
Despite the three-year age gap they were ‘as close as twins’. Although they got their own beds when Lauretta was eight and Sharon five, they would, to their parents’ amusement, still snuggle up together most nights. ‘In my tweens and early teens, wherever I went with my friends – shopping, swimming, to the tennis courts – Sharon tagged along,’ recalls Lauretta.
Lauretta went to dance school aged 18. However, when Sharon began applying for drama schools post-A-levels, she, too, ‘caught the acting bug’ and decided to audition.
Both were awarded places at Guildford School of Acting when Lauretta was 22 and Sharon 19, and moved into student accommodation together.
The next decade was spent working in theatre and television – Lauretta has had small parts in Skins, Doc Martin and My Family, while Sharon has appeared in London’s Burning, Shaun Of The Dead and Motherland.
They picked up work waitressing in between acting gigs and in their 20s bought a flat together in Hackney, East London, before meeting their partners.
Neither ever imagined they’d end up setting up a family home together.
But here they are – and their bond has meant they are ideal business partners, too: six years ago, when friends began to take a keen interest in the sisters’ healthy lifestyle, they began running wellness retreats, in Suffolk, which sell out three months in advance.
Their living arrangements mean there are no arguments about who does the lion’s share when it comes to looking after elderly parents, either.
Their dad, an entrepreneur who came to London from Ireland in the 1960s, and their mum, a retired nurse, are both in their late 70s now, and the sisters support them.
There are times, however, when the Gavins – petite size 10s, Sharon just 5ft tall and Lauretta 5ft 3in – would appreciate a man around to help with heavy lifting and flatpack furniture, for example.
The sisters are also aware that finding a man who shows the same interest and understanding they take for granted in their lifelong relationship would be an extremely tall order.
However, they don’t rule out going their separate ways in the future, should either meet a man or once the kids fly the nest, but they’re in no rush.
‘It almost feels a bit embarrassing to be sisters, living together, in later life,’ says Lauretta. ‘That awful word “spinster” comes to mind – sisters, historically, thrown together because they never met a suitable man.
‘However, in 2025 I like to think that, having weighed up all available options, we have made an excellent choice.’
Sharon, happily nodding along, could not agree more with her sister. ‘This is our family,’ she says. ‘Me, Lauretta and our two children.’
Sharon and Lauretta present the podcast The Gavin Sisters Wellness Show.
