A psychiatrist has revealed six psychological reasons some people only talk about themselves in a video on YouTube.
Dr Sohom Das is a forensic psychiatrist, from London, who also runs an eponymous YouTube channel.
He shares content about crime, mental health conditions, and psychology among other topics.
His previous video topics include how having ADHD can affect your love life, why women are more likely to binge watch true crime than men, and five signs you may have undiagnosed autism.
Discussing why some people aren’t the most inquisitive conversationalists in the clip, Dr Das said: ‘We’ve all met and been bored by people who only talk about themselves.
‘Here are six possible underlying psychological factors that explain their behaviour. I’m also going to throw in a bonus, unusual additional one at the end.’
He added: ‘Personally, I think this is one of the ugliest traits in conversation, where it really stands out when I meet a new person for the first time, but they only talk about themselves.’
1. Narcissism
According to Dr Sohom Das (pictured) there are several reasons why some people only talk about themselves
According to Dr Das, narcissism is ‘probably the biggest’ reason when it comes to why people only talk about themselves. He continued: ‘Individuals with narcissistic personality traits often have an inflated sense of self importance and a deep need for admiration.
‘They may view conversations not as a two-way-street to entertain or educate or stimulate each other, or even for two old friends to catch up with each other…but simply as opportunities to showcase their achievements with little regard of other people’s perspectives.’
2. Lack of empathy
People who struggle with empathy ‘may have difficulty understanding or considering the feelings and experiences of the other person that they’re boring when they’re chatting’ according to the psychiatrist.
He added that their primary focus is on their own internal world and needs. Dr Das said that while there is an overlap with narcissism, it’s not quite the same, as ‘narcissism is about showing off and searching for admiration, whereas lack of empathy might simply be not caring about the other person’s problems or opinions’.
3. Insecurity
‘Surprisingly, self-centred behaviour can sometimes stem from underlying insecurity, so constant self promotion may be a way to seek validation and approval, compensating the feelings of inadequacy,’ he said.
‘So when you’re listening to this, you might think, “well, hang on, this presents similarly to narcissism”, but it’s actually the opposite. For narcissism, they’re feeling superior, but insecurity. They’re overcompensating because they’re feeling inferior.’
4. Poor social skills
Dr Das explained that some people simply do not have the necessary social skills for engaging in reciprocal conversation.
This means they might have a hard time when it comes to reading social cues, understanding conversational turn taking, and showing genuine interest in others.
He added: ‘For example, some people with autism suffer with understanding social cues […] I’m not saying every single person with autism, I’m just saying it’s a common trait.
‘Alternatively, it could be an individual who’s just not socialised into society. Maybe they had very weird parents and they generally didn’t mingle with other people growing up, so they didn’t get to practice the art of conversation.’
5. Attention seeking behaviour
In some cases, self-centred behaviour may be a way to seek attention and validation, but not necessarily admiration,’ Dr Das said.
‘So that’s the difference it’s very similar to narcissism, but the difference is they don’t necessarily need to be admired. They just want to be noticed. For example, the class clown that doesn’t mind being laughed at or bullied, as long as they’re not ignored.’
6. Depression
The psychiatrist (pictured) said that depression can be a reason people only talk about themselves – but it is an ‘unusual’ one
Dr Das explain: ‘I’ve got to say this is an unusual one, but depression can lead to negative cognitions and nihilistic thoughts. So the individual might constantly talk about their problems. They might complain about their life, but it could be because they’re feeling so much misery and dejection they just want to get it off their chest as a form of catharsis.’
He added that in this case, the individual could feel so pessimistic that they ‘simply don’t care whether or not you are being entertained in conversation’.
7. You are boring
The psychiatrist then listed his bonus seventh reason, that comes from his clinical experience – which is that some people only talk about themselves because their conversational partner is boring.
He added: ‘Maybe in other social situations, this individual is charming and interactive, but they get so little from you, either you never reveal any personal information, or maybe your opinions are so bland or even offensive that they literally are just filling the space, filling the gaps in conversation.’
