I had a GP appointment last week – we can still get them in my corner of north London. But although my surgery is just a few streets away, there was no flinging on of an old fleece in a last-minute dash out of the door. No, I spent a good half an hour getting ready.
I styled my hair into beachy waves and chose my clothes with care: a blue leopard print coat, Uniqlo barrel jeans and my Isabel Marant cowboy boots.
Why all the effort for a routine appointment? I wasn’t going for a fancy lunch afterwards, or even heading to an important work meeting.
The outfit choices are all part of my carefully thought-out strategy. I’m 70 and intend to be around for another 30 years. I don’t want any symptoms dismissed as just ‘normal for my age’, or routine health tests deemed OK as they are ‘in the expected range’. If I’m going to last the distance, they need to be so much better than that.
Ageism in the NHS is real. A 2023 Silver Voices survey found that 63 per cent of its members reported age discrimination in the NHS and, of these, 82 per cent said they had been told their illness was just because they were old. Age UK has reported findings from a Macmillan Cancer Support survey showing some older patients are refused treatment on the grounds of age and that age-based assumptions can prevent them receiving optimal cancer treatment. Both Macmillan and Age UK warn that patients should not be ‘written off’ as too old for treatment.
So, dressing up to go to the doctor isn’t as daft as it sounds. With costs a major NHS concern, if you want your health taken seriously, you need to demonstrate why you’re worth the investment.
Susan Ward Davies has a carefully thought-out strategy when it comes to making sure no symptoms are dismissed as just ‘normal for my age’
If I’d arrived looking down and dowdy, it wouldn’t matter that I have excellent blood pressure or that I ran all the way there. If I look like I’ve stopped caring, then they might not care either.
These attitudes don’t just prevail in the UK. A French cardiologist once told me he didn’t see the point in recommending treatment for a female patient of 75 with high cholesterol, as ‘she’d had a good innings’.
Our GPs are excellent but, once patients hit 70, I am well aware they have to make a judgment call on how to treat people.
Which is why I was infuriated, but not surprised, to read about the fashion attitudes survey run by campaign group Age Without Limits.
It revealed that most respondents believe women cannot look fashionable over the age of 56. Fifty-six! What a ridiculous and random age. Who are these respondents? Do they live under a rock? The world is teeming with stylish women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and older, and the fashion world loves them.
Only last month, Prue Leith, 86, was strutting the catwalk in a pink ruffle shirt and orange suit for eco-designers Vin + Omi. Red carpet queen Helen Mirren, 80, is regularly dressed by Dolce & Gabbana and is a guest of honour at their Alta Moda extravaganzas.
The always elegant Kristin Scott Thomas, 65, walked for Miu Miu in the latest Burberry trenchcoat campaign, Debbie Harry became the face of Gucci at 79, and National Treasure Dame Maggie Smith fronted a 2023 Loewe campaign at 88.
Susan says: ‘If you want your health taken seriously, you need to demonstrate why you’re worth the investment’
Whoever took part in the Age Without Limits survey is clearly not paying attention. I have never been someone who lets age dictate what I should or should not do. I got my first proper job at 30 on ELLE magazine, married a man 15 years younger than me at 45 and had a baby (a very lucky accident) at 46, cycling throughout my pregnancy until three days before her birth.
It may have been considered risky but I had been getting around London on a bicycle for most of my life and saw no reason to stop then.
I never heard myself referred to as a ‘geriatric mother’ (applied to anyone over 35), probably because I would arrive for check-ups in a hi-vis jacket and cycling helmet, so definitely not your average 46-year-old first time mum-to-be.
I was lucky enough to work at ELLE for 35 years, which gave me a real love and understanding of fashion. But as I got older, I realised that what you wear becomes more – not less – important.
First impressions count. If you turn up for a job interview, or a first date, in scruffy, un-put-together clothes, you won’t get very far. There is a good reason why defendants wear suits in court.
I managed to dodge the various job culls at ELLE until I was almost 65, travelling all over the globe in my role as travel editor.
I would be trekking through the jungle to see gorillas in Rwanda, paddling up the Amazon, e-biking in the Atlas mountains, camping in the snowy peaks of Bhutan, or checking out the coolest bars and clubs in Rio or Barcelona – often on my own.
Actress Kristin Scott Thomas, 65, walks for Miu Miu in Paris Fashion Week earlier this month
Prue Leith, 86, has fun on the catwalk in a pink ruffle shirt and orange suit for eco-designers Vin + Omi last month
It was actually the last of these that was the most challenging. I love a big night out – still do – but trying to look the part in a club after 40 is tough. By my 60s, I was beginning to feel more self-conscious and needed a different tactic to not feel out of place. The solution? Cool clothes and role play. Why would someone my age be alone in a club at 2am? In my mind I was the owner/designer/promoter.
I would put on my Chloe T-shirt and my Me+Em palazzo pants – going for a ‘stylish but not sexy’ look. (Sexy is way too try-hard when you’re older.) Then stride in as if I really did own the place.
I don’t know if it worked but I felt like it did, which was the whole point, and it was a much better look than ‘frazzled mum picking up the teens’, or, even worse, ‘cougar on the prowl’ (an occupational hazard for older women).
Without straying into the ‘what other women should or shouldn’t wear’ territory of the survey, my personal no-no is dressing to ‘prove you’ve still got it’. However appealing that seems after a few drinks, I avoid anything too low, too tight, too short or too revealing.
No matter how much I manage to ace a look, I know there will always be plenty of people who will think it ‘inappropriate’ for older women like me to dress in clothes that are designated ‘young’ and supposedly off-limits for anyone over 50. I have just never agreed with such age restrictions.
I joined ELLE before the launch in 1985 and lived through many different editors. With each new one I wondered if my days were numbered. I was good at my job but never rested on my laurels. Magazine roles were – and are – much coveted and you had to look the part.
I may have been decades older than my colleagues but we enjoyed the same music, went to the same parties, wore the same designers. I never felt age made any difference: after all, your tastes are shaped by who you hang out with, not your demographic.
‘Adapting your style to look rich and powerful, cool and creative, or stylish and sassy, as required, can change your self-belief and help you adopt those characteristics. You are not trying to deny your age, just to feel better about it,’ explains fashion editor and former Editor in Chief of ELLE Anne-Marie Curtis.
Many men don’t ‘get’ fashion, but thankfully my Cuban artist husband is not one of them. He has brilliant taste and a good eye, loves anything ‘with swing’, as he calls it, and has always been my in-house style adviser.
Growing up in a country where you only ever have the same one or two things to wear for years, he has a real appreciation for the sheer breadth and creativity of fashion in the UK and is a pretty sharp dresser himself.
My mother lived (independently) until two months shy of her 101st birthday and I intend to do the same – or better. Every day of her life she’d put on her pearl necklace and earrings and a touch of deep rose lipstick, which was all she needed to look fabulous.
Of course, maintaining peak health and fitness as you age is crucial but I need, and want, to work much longer than most people, which means dressing to impress, or the opportunities might not be forthcoming.
I am not going to stop doing what I like, however age-inappropriate it seems. People may be surprised I love parties and am still happy to night-bus home at all hours. Just as they might raise an eyebrow to see me scouring H&M for designer dupes or sipping a margarita with friends half my age in my silver Moschino dress. These are my fashion and life choices and I don’t intend to give them up.
‘If you feel good in something, wear it,’ says Curtis.
Hats off to that.
