Ladies and gentlemen, as the proud President of WOW, it is a huge pleasure to welcome you to St James’s Palace today to mark International Women’s Day.
As you can see, I am wearing another badge next to my WOW one. You might not be close enough to read the message, but it says, simply, ‘Shame Must Change Sides’. It was given to me last
month by Gisèle Pelicot, whom I was honoured and delighted to meet for tea, to hear her story in person, told with grace, strength and, above all, determination that the world’s view of violence against women and girls must shift dramatically. As she said in her address to Parliament, ‘Changing legislation is far easier than changing attitudes. For victims to speak out, society also has to be ready to listen and to hold their hand’.
In the same year 51 men were found guilty of having raped and assaulted Gisèle, another heartbreaking and shocking crime was reported. In Hertfordshire, Carol Hunt and her daughters Louise and Hannah were brutally murdered by Louise’s ex-boyfriend in their home.
At the end of last year, I met John and Amy Hunt, who, courageously and with great dignity, spoke to me about the loss of their beloved family. Amy – thank you for being here with us today, with your fiancé, Gareth.
In the course of our conversation, when speaking of violence against women, Amy said this: ‘every woman has a story’. Few have suffered as much as John and Amy. But those words of Amy’s have stayed with me since and I often think of them. She is, tragically, right.
A woman is murdered by a man every three days in the UK. 62% of these women are killed by partners or ex-partners: 70% in the sanctuary of their own home.
Almost a third of women in England and Wales have endured domestic abuse. 1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted. And over 70% of women in the UK say that they have been harassed in public. Each of us is, therefore, certain either to have experienced some form of abuse personally, or know a woman or a girl who has.
To every survivor of every kind of violence, many of whom have not been able to tell their stories or who have not been believed, please know that you are not alone. We stand with you and alongside you, today and every day, in solidarity, sorrow and sympathy.
Every woman has a story. And these stories must be told. Because when we live in a culture of silence, we empower violence against women and girls. It is for this reason that, for 15 years, WOW has been sharing women’s experiences through their festivals, inspiring thousands of people across six continents to take action.
One significant misconception about violence against women is that it is ‘a woman problem’ and that, by changing ourselves, women can prevent it from happening and be protected from its consequences.
This is unjust and untrue. Nor is it helpful to frame it as a ‘man problem’ in a way that casts all men as potential perpetrators. It is ‘everyone’s problem’ and only by treating it as such can this scourge be eradicated for good. It won’t be easy.
Recent research listening directly to over a thousand boys across the UK shows something important: boys are not indifferent. Many feel isolated, uncertain, and under pressure to perform a version of manhood they don’t fully understand. 79% say that they are unclear what ‘masculinity’ even means nowadays and that they lack spaces to talk, trusted adults to confide in and guidance to navigate an online world where harmful voices often dominate.
These boys and young men are not the enemy of progress – they are essential partners in it…and the benefits will be felt by girls, by women, by communities and by society itself.
In the playground, boys should be taught to manage and to express their feelings healthily. In the classroom, all children must learn what constitutes consent – and what is assault. In the work place, inspiring male and female role models can demonstrate true egalitarianism. In our social lives, emotional honesty should be seen as strength, rather than weakness. After all, we cannot claim that we believe in gender equality if we also believe that ‘real men don’t cry’. And we cannot be surprised by physical cruelty if, in digital forums, we turn a blind eye to those who heap abuse on others without thought or consequence.
It is in the online space where boys and young men absorb many of the values they will carry through until adulthood: if misogyny and hatred are not confronted here and now, then we will face far greater issues in the future.
I am deeply grateful that, thanks to the work of WOW and many of you in this room, boys and men are increasingly part of the conversation to challenge the status quo, to seek change and to stop harm before it begins.
Every woman has a story. And so, too, does every man.
Let us join together to, in Gisèle Pelicot’s words, bring about ‘a collective awakening. It’s about education, respect and kindness towards others. It’s that simple’.
Thank you.
