Kinsky horror show embarrasses Igor Tudor as Spaniards take control with first-half rout

IGOR TUDOR was supposed to be a firefighter.

Arsonist feels a much more fitting description.

Because the Croat, famed for his alleged track record of making quick impacts, has simply poured petrol on the already considerable flames engulfing Tottenham Hotspur this season.

Three straight defeats in the Premier League since being appointed on an interim basis has seen the gap to the relegation zone shrink to one point.

And now this farce in the Champions League.

It has been an unmitigated disaster of an appointment and one that many furious fans will be demanding is brought to an abrupt end today.

If there is any sympathy for the former Juventus and Marseille boss, it will point to the barely-believable volume of cock-ups that his players performed last night.

On this pitch, the scene of the Champions League final that they reached in 2019, of all places, and with the man who guided them there, Mauricio Pochettino, watching on.

Incredibly, the three goals Spurs conceded inside the first 15 minutes all came from players slipping up on the pitch.

Two were from Antonin Kinsky, who was then embarrassingly subbed off a minute later, and also Micky van de Ven, who has had a shocker under Tudor too.

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Marcos Llorente, Antoine Griezmann and Julian Alvarez, the beneficiaries of the litany of errors, could not believe their luck.

But those with harder hearts will point to the decisions Tudor made in the first place that paved the way to this omnishambles.

Chiefly, playing Kinsky ahead of Guglielmo Vicario.

Granted, Italian Vicario has had a poor campaign filled with shaky moments of his own.

But Kinsky has not played since October and clearly was not ready to play on this stage.

This was the Champions League last 16, lest we forget. And Spurs have just been humiliated in it in a way many supporters would not have thought possible.

Then there was a lack of senior pros further up the pitch, with Joao Palhinha, Conor Gallagher and Dominic Solanke all starting the game on the pitch.

If ever there was a match where their experience was needed, as underwhelming as their own performances have been of late, then it was here, in this cauldron that has the capacity to swallow up the unseasoned.

Notably, it was that trio of players who rushed down the tunnel to console Kinsky after he was hooked and headed to the dressing room to reflect on what the hell just happened.

For those who did not catch the game, think Loris Karius in the Champions League final the year before Spurs made it – but worse.

Tudor tried to be honest in his pre-match press conference by agreeing how this game was something of a free hit, with the “first aim” being Premier League survival, and that it was a chance to try some things out to aid his domestic bid to stay up.

How he must have rued the second part, specifically the inclusion of Kinsky.

It took just six minutes for that call to blow up in Tudor’s face.

Captain Romero, playing for the first time under Tudor due to his four-match ban in the Premier League, squared a simple goal-kick back to Kinsky.

But he made a complete hash of his clearance, slipping over and slicing it to Ademola Lookman – whom Spurs snubbed a chance to sign in January.

Lookman passed it on to Julian Alvarez who in turn knocked it onto Llorente, who buried it into the corner. Kinsky, no doubt panicking after his gaffe, got nowhere near the strike.

It was then Van de Ven’s turn to trip, albeit Kinsky’s next mistake happened so quickly afterwards it was easy to forget the Dutchman’s own horrorshow moment.

Van de Ven, who cost Spurs the game against Palace with an early red card, stumbled trying to control a pass from Pape Matar Sarr.

It allowed Griezmann to waltz in and fire home No2.

Unbelievably, things got worse a minute later.

Kinsky somehow completely mishit a routine pass, this time with his left foot, and Alvarez essentially walked the ball into an empty net from there.

The Czech’s head looked to have completely gone at that point and Tudor hooked him for the man he had dropped, Vicario.

It did not stem the tide, though.

Vicario, in fairness, pulled off a brilliant stop when Sarr flicked a header towards his own goal, only for the ball to loop up and Robin Le Normand to force the rebound over the line.

Le Normand ran to the bench and hugged ex-Spurs defender Clement Lenglet in celebration.

Pedro Porro did grab one back for Spurs, slotting home the fifth goal of the match with only 26 breathless, bonkers minutes having been played.

And Spurs had chances to score more.

But such was their ludicrous luck, they shipped another 12 seconds after a Richarlison header was brilliantly saved.

Matteo Ruggeri then whacked away a clearance which Griezmann flicked on majestically, allowing ex-Manchester City star Alvarez to race the entirety of Spurs’ half and fire into the corner.

Kinsky’s yips were catching as even the great Jan Oblak had his own nightmare, firing a simple pass straight to Porro who fed Dominic Solanke for 5-2 with 15 minutes to go.

It provided some glimmer of hope but it will take a miracle back at home for Spurs to turn this one round next week.

But perhaps the bigger miracle will be Tudor still being in the dugout by the time that second leg comes around.