“I’VE DONE it once for Sky, but I’ll never be doing it again,” a football legend once said of punditry “I’d rather go to the dentist.”
The legend was Roy Keane.
Keane uttered that quote in 2008. Everyone is entitled to change their mind and Keane well and truly has.
He has been an ever-present on Sky since 2019 and no Premier League pundit is clipped up as much as Keane is.
Sky Sports were rampant before a ball had been kicked in the Manchester derby on Saturday.
There were seven clips uploaded based on something Keane had said as he embarked on another shooting spree.
Michael Carrick, Jonny Evans, Kobbie Mainoo, the Manchester United board, the United defence. Even the kit men and under 12s were in the firing line.
After Keane was said, “It seems REALLY EASY to get at them (United’s defence)”, the next Keane clip was entitled, “Roy Keane reveals the result of the Manchester derby to fans locked In The Box”.
For those of you fortunate to have missed it, three United fans and three City fans killed the 90 minutes encased in a Big Brother-style room without watching the game.
Keane, who flashed up like an Orwellian figure on the big screen, is a man who once said, “You’re sitting there with people in the studio and they’re trying to sell something that’s not there.”
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Sky are showing more games than ever this season and their 36-year coverage of the Premier League has reached a tipping point.
The overexposure has exposed their shortcomings and they are no longer best-in-class for punditry.
The BBC, with limited time for analysis on Match of the Day, have surpassed them with shrewd hires in Joe Hart, Wayne Rooney and Ashley Williams. It turns out Sky has a limit.
Rooney still strayed by trumpeting the mythical “United DNA” after their derby win.
United supporters are particularly tired of Keane and Neville, the two most prominent pundits in the country, ranting or contradicting themselves.
If you miss them at the weekend you may catch them midweek on their podcast. Keane’s pot-shot at Carrick’s wife, Lisa, crossed the line last week.
Constructive criticism is perfectly acceptable yet United legends and greats got personal in the build-up to the derby.
Nicky Butt and Paul Scholes chuckled that Erling Haaland “would pick Lisandro Martinez up and run with him” and “chuck him in the net”.
It was as if neither had watched Martinez subdue Haaland in the 2024 FA Cup final when United beat City 2-1. Martinez had the final word in the Old Trafford mixed zone.
Punditry is becoming intolerable. Extremely experienced former players do not tell us anything we don’t already know.
It is all about incendiary opinions and sound bites. Butt, Scholes and Paddy McGuinness sound like three punters in a pub.
Butt is doubtless still bitter about his exit from United in 2021. He had an underrated role in reviving the club’s academy but was passed over for the football director role that went to John Murtough.
The pair were involved in a shouting match at the club’s Carrington training complex, with Butt said to have referenced Murtough’s association with Liverpool, where he went to university and worked for Everton.
Butt coached United’s youth team and went on to be chief executive of Salford City. So as a player, a coach and a football administrator, he can shed light on the game.
Instead, he makes daft comments like recommending Keane for the United manager’s role. What club would touch him with a bargepole?
It has been seven years since Scholes’ 31-day stint as manager of Oldham Athletic. He will not be going back into management.
As Scholes said recently, caring for his autistic son Aidan is the priority. It was uplifting to hear Scholes speak so openly about such a personal matter and his life rightly revolves around his youngest son.
As a genuine United legend, his voice carries weight and there is, for now, still a market for ex-United player views.
But there is next to no insight from players who won Premier League titles, European Cups, played at World Cups and European Championships.
Football journalists regularly inform, whether it be through stories, features and informed opinions laden with context.
Neville has delivered some genuine masterclasses in punditry and his partnership with Jamie Carragher has been must-watch television.
But he is becoming a walking contradiction.
“Manchester United have got to appoint a manager that fits the DNA of their football club,” he ordered after Ruben Amorim’s sacking.
Whilst Erik ten Hag was in charge, Neville recommended United switch to a back-three system that Amorim was wedded to.
He never questioned David Moyes during his ten-month tenure, or Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the two trophyless post-Ferguson managers before Amorim.
Neville’s brother, Phil, and former teammate, Ryan Giggs, were members of Moyes’ backroom staff. Neville remains close with Solskjaer, a guest on his podcast.
Neville’s celebratory shriek on co-commentary when Bryan Mbeumo scored against City warranted more Ofcom complaints than when he expressed surprise a Liverpool player had not “whacked” Arsenal winger Gabriel Martinelli.
The former England Test coach Trevor Bayliss recently spoke glowingly about legendary cricket broadcaster Richie Benaud: “If it wasn’t for the accent, you would never have known where he was from or what team he used to play for.
“But these days, a lot of commentators are almost playing up to it. You know who they are supporting.”
Neville is not the only one. But this is the product Sky is cultivating, whilst telling us nothing.
You’d rather go to the dentist.
