Our nation’s estrangement epidemic has been making headlines lately. I know. I’ve been at the center of much of the conversation as Doormat Mom. Since I came out in defense of estranged parents in August 2024, I’ve spent a great deal of time listening, observing, speaking, learning, and praying. Like so many other estranged parents, I want answers.
As approximately 27 percent of families are coping with estrangement in the United States alone, the question of “why” is swirling. There doesn’t seem to be just one reason, but rather a mixing of sorts.
The apparent culprits include entitlement and victimhood mentality, societal conditioning from both social media and establishment media, the transformation of schools into indoctrination camps, political differences, money, faith and religion, conflicting values and morality, destructive therapy culture and mental health professionals, the loss of foundational principles that protect the sanctity and unity of families, the adoption of “gentle parenting” practices, and the shedding of faith and God from every corner of our daily lives. It’s those last two in the list of many that stand out to me.
The combination begs me to contemplate if we’ve turned our kids into idols themselves, and are now serving the consequences of our defiance. The first and second commandments clearly warn us against doing so. The Bible certainly doesn’t mince words on the matter, now does it? No, it doesn’t.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me” (Exodus 20:3-5 KJV).
Yet, when you take a step back and look at the societal norm being pushed onto parents today, it seems that “servitude and worship” are at the core of proper parenting practices — not of God, mind you, but of our own children. Those parents who refuse to follow along, frankly, are at risk of becoming estranged. Tie that to parents’ desire to give their children better and easier lives than they had growing up, and the results translate to generations that expect everything and give nothing in return.
The collateral damage to the family alongside the devastating multigenerational realities are far reaching. Parents affix crowns on their children’s heads because they are convinced that they must; otherwise, they are called toxic, narcissistic, abusive, and neglectful.
By doing so, however, they create fragile temperaments laden with limitless demands and a penchant for boundaries that erect walls — ones they are now running the family into. As they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions,” and estrangement is no exception. It is for many parents their own personal hell.
Obviously, none of this behavior is new to Him.
The “idolatry of our children and the idealization of parenting” at the same time is simply a new version of a very old habit and egotism we just can’t seem to shake as imperfect beings. Hence, the giving of the first and second commandments.
To that same end, it marks the very reason many estranged parents, who are also Christian, insist that estrangement is a kind of spiritual warfare. I am one of them.
To me, the timing of this epidemic seems all too convenient. It’s rather consistent with the absence of God and the preoccupation with man and man-made baubles that all but promise to replace Him.
No one can say our youth are not mesmerized — they are — nor fault them for relishing the kingly treatment they’ve been told that they’re owed both in and outside the home. Who wouldn’t be?
But this evil is destroying the most precious gift God has given humanity — the family. And estranged parents have been given a front row seat to the painful consequences. Without stable, cohesive, functioning families, our nation has no future. Thus, standing in evil’s way has become paramount — paramount for those who have yet to realize the gravity this epidemic holds on every level and for the God who already does.
In other words, stop idolizing your kids and return them to their proper stations as kids. They, you, and everyone else on the planet will be better off. That is the beginning of transforming this estrangement epidemic into a widespread family revival.
The views expressed in this opinion article are those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by the owners of this website. If you are interested in contributing an Op-Ed to The Western Journal, you can learn about our submission guidelines and process here.
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