Whisper it, but I’m a member of a secret WhatsApp group called AA. No, not that AA – this one stands for Absolutely Anything.
And it’s an ultra-exclusive, female-led forum like no other. One that combines the qualities of Vinted, Google and LinkedIn and leaves the likes of the popular Nextdoor app – where you have to endure moaning from your neighbours about bins and loud children – in the dust.
Need a designer sofa? Access to a private doctor? A new pet for your little one? AA can provide. People swap nannies, cleaners and furniture as well as tips on schools. The only thing they don’t swap (yet) is husbands.
I like to think of Absolutely Anything as being where Tiggy Legge-Bourke country types rub along happily with the city slickers who commute to London but live in the middle of nowhere.
I live in North Essex in the Colne Valley but AA covers the area from mid-Essex – where women won’t be seen dead without a full face of make-up – to rural south Norfolk, where no one cares when you last waxed your legs.
It started off very small in 2017 with a select group of well-heeled, or should that be well-wellied, females, and now has almost 700 members.
Since 2018, I had heard whispers of this exclusive club at the schoolgates and immediately wanted to join, but was disappointed to learn it was by-invitation only.
The chat group is a way to track down tickets to events at Kentwell Hall
Sybilla jumped at the chance to join AA
‘It started with eight of us whose pre-school children met once a week to share tennis lessons, and soon started to grow. Now if you are a member you can add people instantly,’ says co-founder Camilla Ewart, a married mum-of-two who lives near Colchester.
My dreams came true in 2019, when I was let in by Camilla – and that’s when the fun began. ‘I need a babysitter in Zermatt this weekend. Can anyone help?’ is a typical request. ‘Which is better for winter sun?’ someone asks. ‘The Maldives or the Seychelles?’
If I wanted a rare Norwich terrier or needed a private doctor who will come out on a Sunday (I tried this once when my son had mumps; the bill was £350), I only have to look at my mobile. This ultimate mum WhatsApp group will answer most, if not all, my prayers.
There are a few men in the group, but most women see it as a bloke-free zone. The sheer quantity of notifications, around 50 a day, would probably freak them out.
Initially people would offer tickets to events such as Dickensian Christmas at Kentwell Hall in Suffolk if they couldn’t go thanks to their child contracting croup. Then people started buying and selling travel cots and even engagement rings. There’s a travel section where people can ask for recommendations on where to stay from Normandy to Bali.
There’s even a sub-section called Absolutely Anything Neurodiverse, where parents can get tips on how to manage a child’s diet if they have ADHD or how to get a wired child to sleep (rub organic lavender magnesium balm on their feet before bed and invest in a Yoto player, a screen-free device that plays audiobooks).
Personally, I’ve acquired stick insects as pets for my five children – along with a £600 car bill accrued when I turned up at a friend’s house to sell her a scooter for £5. On my departure I reversed over a cement clad traffic cone. I could have bought her ten brand new scooters.
Which leads me on to another members’ perk. Minutes after the collision, my poor damaged car gave up the ghost, leaking break fluid all over the road and grinding to a halt outside another AA member’s house, who I had encountered years before at a toddler group.
Need an exclusive holiday destination idea? AA has you covered
The author was able to get some high-end skincare products for free from the group
By a stroke of luck she was located opposite a rural garage. The AA member took pity on me and invited me in for Pimm’s – and we have since become firm friends.
There are some very generous people in the group who often give things away for free. I’ve been the happy recipient of La Prairie cosmetics worth around £200, plus duck feather and down pillows.
As for me uploading my goodies, I’ve said goodbye to an electric baby rocking chair, children’s cashmere cardigans and a chicken run.
I’ve become good friends with a few ladies in the group.
‘You met them online? Are you sure this person is OK?’ asked my 18-year-old son, eyeing me suspiciously when a family of five turned up in a people carrier for an impromptu lunch last summer.
I told him not to worry, I had met them through a secret and exclusive club, and they were definitely not serial killers. We might even do a holiday swap together this summer.
In fact I’m not sure what I’d do without AA. But if you get a chance to join, be careful of traffic cones when driving over to another member’s house.
