WHEN her husband began suffering with crippling stomach pains and relentless diarrhoea, Poppy Bruford was told not to worry. After all, Rob, 37, was fit, healthy and full of life.
Doctors repeatedly assured the couple that his symptoms were nothing more than run-of-the-mill irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and the dad-of-two simply needed to “lay off the cheese”. Months later, he was dead.
Poppy, 36, from Amesbury, Wiltshire, tells Sun Health: “They said it was IBS and sent Rob away with diet plans.
“He did everything they told him to, but he just got worse.
“By the time anyone realised it wasn’t IBS, it was far too late.
“I can’t believe how quickly it happened. Four months from the first GP visit to losing him completely. It’s brutal.”
READ MORE ON PANCREATIC CANCER
Rob worked long, demanding hours as a bar manager for weddings and events, often travelling between venues across the south of England.
He was always on the move, always working. And at first, his symptoms seemed mild and manageable.
“He started getting bad cramps and diarrhoea after eating,” Poppy says.
“We thought it might be a dairy intolerance because his family has that. We laughed about it at first, saying, ‘Maybe you need to lay off the cheese, Rob’.
“But then it became constant. He’d barely finish eating before having to run to the toilet.
“It got to the point where food terrified him because he knew what was coming.”
Rob’s energy levels then plummeted. But given his work schedule, it wasn’t immediately alarming.
“He was always tired, but he worked crazy hours so it wasn’t unusual for him to sleep all day after a late shift,” Poppy says. “But this was different.
“He started falling asleep at the dinner table. He’d sit down on the sofa and be out within minutes. Then he just stopped wanting to get out of bed.
“He looked pale and weak, and the weight started dropping off him.
“Every week, his clothes were looser. He was disappearing in front of me.”
I remember saying to him, ‘This isn’t IBS, Rob. Something’s wrong’. He’d just shake his head and say, ‘The doctor knows best’
Poppy Bruford
Despite his appearance, doctors remained unconcerned.
“He went to the GP so many times,” Poppy says. “They told him it was IBS, said to keep a food diary, eat plain foods, cut out meat, dairy and gluten.
“He followed everything they said to the letter.
“They did blood tests that came back normal, and that was it, end of story. No scans, no urgency.
“We were told to relax. Looking back, I can’t believe how easily it was brushed off.”
For weeks, Rob, dad to Otis and Bohdi, now four and three, battled through his worsening condition, determined not to let anyone down at work.
“He wasn’t one to complain,” Poppy says. “He kept going. But I could see how much pain he was in.
“He’d be bent over at the sink, sweating, clutching his stomach.
“I remember saying to him, ‘This isn’t IBS, Rob. Something’s wrong’. He’d just shake his head and say, ‘The doctor knows best’.”
By late summer, Rob’s health had collapsed.
“He couldn’t eat without being in pain,” Poppy recalls. “He started vomiting every time he tried to eat. Then he couldn’t keep fluids down either.
“He was so weak he could barely stand. He started losing his hearing, which we later learned can happen when someone loses a huge amount of weight quickly.
“His whole body was shutting down. It was terrifying.”
When everything changed
But the pair still didn’t know what was happening, and not once did they, or anyone else, mention cancer.
“We didn’t think it could be cancer, not for one second,” Poppy says. “You don’t jump to that when you’re 37.
“You think stress, diet, a stomach bug.
“I just wish someone, anyone, had thought to check sooner.”
One night, everything changed.
“Rob was in agony, the worst I’d ever seen him,” Poppy says. “Then he started vomiting blood.
“He looked at me and said, ‘I can’t do this anymore, I’m going to A&E’.
“He drove himself there because he didn’t want me to worry. That was the last time he ever came home.”
At the hospital, doctors finally ordered a scan.
“The nurse said she couldn’t tell him anything, but her face said it all,” Poppy says.
“The next day, the consultant came in and showed him the scan, and it just lit up. I’ll never forget those words.
“It looked like fairy lights tangled together. Tumours everywhere – his liver, bowel, stomach, even his bones. There wasn’t an inch they could save.”
Britain’s deadliest cancer
Rob was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer – a disease so aggressive that by the time most patients are diagnosed, it’s already too late.
It can strike anyone, at any age, and is the deadliest of all common cancers, killing 10,000 people in the UK every year and half of patients within three months of diagnosis.
That’s almost as many as breast cancer (11,500), despite the latter affecting more than 10 times as many people.
Unfortunately, it has a five-year survival rate of just seven per cent.
That’s because symptoms can be vague, and often mask as something else entirely. The most common signs include:
- Bloating
- Pain (usually in the abdomen or back)
- Digestive problems (e.g. poor appetite, indigestion, nausea)
- Jaundice (yellowing of the skin and eyes)
- Diarrhoea, constipation or both
- Unexplained weight loss
- Tenderness, swelling or pain caused by a blood clot
- A diabetes diagnosis
Poppy says: “Doctors told Rob there was nothing they could do. No treatment, no hope. Just pain relief.
“He asked how long he had. The doctors didn’t say it outright, but I could see it in their eyes. We had weeks, not months.”
Rob was transferred to his mum’s house for hospice care.
“He wanted to be somewhere peaceful,” Poppy says. “He was brave. He accepted it faster than I did. He even joked about it, saying, ‘Well, at least I don’t have to work weekends anymore’.
“That was him. Always finding humour in the darkest moments.”
The final weeks were a blur of exhaustion and heartbreak.
“We had two babies, one was two, the other 18 months,” Poppy says.
“I didn’t have time to cry. I was struggling visiting Rob, while looking after the boys.”
Just three weeks after his diagnosis, on May 15, 2024, Rob passed away.
Tragically, pancreatic cancer had struck Poppy’s family once before.
“A few years earlier, on November 14, 2019, my dad died from it too,” she says.
“He was one of those people who never complained, always brushed things off.
“He’d been feeling tired for months, sleeping more than usual, but he just kept going. He thought it was age catching up with him.
“By the time doctors diagnosed him, it was over. He died three days later.
“His main symptom was fatigue; he just had no energy left.
“We thought it was something simple, but it was the same deadly disease.
“I never imagined I’d lose my husband to it as well. How can lightning strike twice like that?”
The terrifying truth about pancreatic cancer
PANCREATIC cancer is the 10th most common in the UK, accounting for three per cent of new cancer cases.
But it is considered one of the most deadly.
Around 10,786 people are diagnosed every year in the UK, and 9,558 lose their lives.
More than half of people die within three months of being diagnosed.
Just 4.3 per cent of patients survive the disease for 10 years or more.
Pancreatic Cancer UK predicts that the number of people dying from it annually will overtake breast cancer by 2027.
Sadly, the disease doesn’t always cause symptoms in its early stages.
As the cancer grows and you do begin to show signs, these may come and go and be unspecific, making it hard to diagnose.
However, you can be on the lookout for:
- Indigestion – a painful, burning feeling in your chest with an unpleasant taste in your mouth
- Tummy or back pain – it may start as general discomfort or tenderness in the tummy area and spread to the back, which get worse lying down and feel better is you sit forward
- Diarrhoea and constipation – see a GP if you have runny poos for more than seven days, especially if you’ve lost weight as well
- Steatorrhoea – pale, oily poo that’s bulky, smells horrible and floats, making it hard to flush
- Losing a lot of weight without meaning to
- Jaundice – yellow skin and eyes, as well as dark pee, pale poo and itchy skin
Poppy is using her grief to raise awareness of the disease, fronting Pancreatic Cancer Action’s #DeadlyKiller campaign.
It highlights the disease’s shocking survival rate and fights the misconception that it only affects older people or those in poor health.
“People think pancreatic cancer is something old men get after a lifetime of drinking or smoking, but Rob was young and loved life,” Poppy says.
“It doesn’t discriminate. That’s why I’m doing this, to show that anyone can get it.
“We need doctors and the public to take symptoms seriously, no matter your age.”
Looking back, Poppy believes the system failed her husband.
“The signs were all there – the pain, the tiredness, the weight loss, the back pain,” she says.
“If he’d been 70, they’d have sent him for a scan straight away. But because he was 37, they assumed it was something harmless.
“That one assumption cost him his life. If they’d just scanned him sooner, he might still be here.”
Losing my dad was heartbreaking, but losing Rob so soon after was unimaginable
Poppy Bruford
Pancreatic cancer is the deadliest common cancer in the UK.
Twenty six people die from it every day, and half of those diagnosed don’t survive three months.
Only one in 10 patients are diagnosed early enough for surgery, which remains the only potential cure.
“I didn’t know what the pancreas (a gland which produces enzymes to digest food and produce hormones to maintain blood sugar control) even did until this happened,” Poppy says.
“That’s the scary part, most people don’t. It sits there quietly, and when something goes wrong, it’s almost always too late.
“That’s why awareness is so important. We have to make people understand that this isn’t a cancer that waits around.”
She adds: “Losing my dad was heartbreaking, but losing Rob so soon after was unimaginable.
“Pancreatic cancer tore through my family twice, and both times we were powerless to stop it.
“If we can get people to notice the signs sooner, we can save lives.
“This disease is a deadly killer, and anyone is at risk.
“It doesn’t care how old you are or how healthy you’ve been. It can happen to anyone.”
Poppy hopes that by sharing her story, she can help spare other families from the pain she has endured.
“I don’t want sympathy,” she says. “I just want people to listen.
“If something feels wrong in your body, don’t take no for an answer.
“Push for tests, push for a scan, and keep pushing until someone listens. It could save your life.”
Pancreatic cancer is often called a “silent” or “deadly killer” because its vague symptoms are easy to dismiss.
In the UK, 50 per cent of people diagnosed will die within three months, and a shocking 93 per cent will die within five years.
Despite being the deadliest common cancer, it receives just 3.1 per cent of UK cancer research funding.
“Because most people cannot even point to where their pancreas is, awareness saves lives,” says Anthony Cummings, CEO of Pancreatic Cancer Action.
“Stories like Poppy’s show exactly why we launched the #DeadlyKiller campaign, to stop pancreatic cancer being a death sentence.”
When it’s probably not IBS
IRRITABLE bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common condition that affects the digestive system.
It causes symptoms like:
- Stomach cramps
- Bloating
- Diarrhoea
- Constipation
- Farting
- Passing mucus from your bottom
- Tiredness and a lack of energy
- Feeling sick
- Backache
- Problems peeing (needing to go more often, sudden urges, feeling like you cannot fully empty your bladder)
- Bowel incontinence
These tend to come and go over time, and can last for days, weeks or months at a time.
There is no official test, so a doctor will ask you about your symptoms and may also feel your tummy to check for lumps or swelling.
IBS is usually a lifelong problem. It can be very frustrating to live with and can have a big impact on your everyday life.
While there is no cure, diet and lifestyle changes, as well as medicines, can often help control the symptoms.
This might involve cooking homemade meals with fresh ingredients, keeping a food diary, avoiding alcohol and fizzy drinks, getting plenty of exercise, and trying probiotics.
However, lots of other conditions share symptoms with IBS. These include: coeliac disease, ulcerative colitis and several types of cancer.
You should see your GP if you think you might have IBS and have had symptoms for over four weeks.
Ask for an urgent GP appointment or get help from NHS 111 if:
- you have lost a lot of weight for no reason
- you’re bleeding from your bottom or have bloody diarrhoea
- you find a hard lump or swelling in your tummy
- you have shortness of breath, noticeable heartbeats (palpitations) and skin that’s paler than usual
These could be signs of something more serious.
Source: NHS
