WHIZZING around the high street in your Lululemon yoga pants with a flat white in hand while you send a string of emojis to the latest gossip in Whatsapp feeling like old age hasn’t hit yet? Well, we have bad news.
It turns out that while you thought you were being carefree and at one with the kids, they were all laughing at your out-of-date habits.
According to brand and pop culture expert Rebecca May, it turns out these are all showing the youngsters just how old you really are, and there’s a whole list of other habits making you seem geriatric to the Gen Zs and Alphas.
So which of the 27 old-timer practices are you doing without realising?
According to Rebecca, planning your car journey when it’s one you do all the time is a major ick for the younger gen, who knew getting a playlist ready was so divisive?
Once the epitome of high-class snacking, the culture expert says truffle-flavoured crisps are no longer cool and are now just as normal as a tube of Pringles.
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“Truffle flavoured crisps should be left in the past, they’re that commonplace,” the culture expert said.
Burrata tipped mozzarella off the top spot when it came to cheese, now you’d be laughed out of a dinner party turning up with it. It’s all about Stracciatella now.
The culture expert said: “Burrata is no longer cool. Not when you can get it down your local Tesco. Stracciatella is now being served at dinner parties for those in the know.”
Yoga pants for your daily uniform… It’s not the ‘fit you think it is, Rebecca says, instead, opt for a pair of oversized wool trousers for a more put together look while still being comfortable.
Muggles and Mudbloods listen up, it’s no longer cool to be obsessed with Harry Potter, says Rebecca, even if you read it to your kids every night.
Instead, the younger generation on focusing on more risqué fantasy worlds such as A Court of Thorns and Roses.
For those of us who had to make our own emojis on our Nokia phones, the addition of an emoji keyboard was once seen as revolutionary, now using one shows your age.
“You reply in only emojis… especially the laughing face one,” Rebecca adds.
The younger generation is all about making their own ‘stickers’ to use instead of emojis, giving it a more personal touch.
Another common indicator you are no longer in your prime is having a phone case that opens like a book, yes it’s useful for your cards, but it’s not cool says Rebecca.
Instead, opt for a normal phone case that has a cute pattern on the back and accessorise with a wristband to stay on trend.
Flat whites were once the chic coffee order to go for, now it’s like ordering a cappuccino, basic and outdated, claims the pop culture expert, now it’s all about matcha lattes and drip-coffee.
While M&S has gone up the ranks in terms of style, a drawer full of its underwear will never be hip, no matter how comfortable they are.
Instead, try opting for independent and smaller lingerie brands like Lounge to add some variety.
Wearing crew socks with trainers would have had you laughed out of the party ten years ago, now, it’s embarrassing to be seen in ankle socks the culture expert claims.
Rebecca explained: “Socks aren’t embarrassing anymore, they’re meant to be seen,” so make sure to pull them high and get as many fun pairs as you can.
The Uniqlo bum bag was once a sign you were still as carefree as you were when you were a teen, now it’s a tragic sign you’re trying to avoid ageing.
Every trend comes back around, and the youngsters are all wearing vintage shaped bags to complete their looks, so if you want to keep your cool card, start there.
Gen Z have recently rediscovered the trend of knowing your colour type.
And Fabulous‘ Deputy Fashion Editor Abby McHale, goes back to the original colour consultancy to check hers out.
“My wardrobe looks like a rainbow has exploded in it. You name a colour and I’m pretty sure I’ll have something that shade in there. And while I do like a neutral, I’m certainly not afraid of going bright.
That said, I have no clue what colours actually ‘suit’ me. So with colour analysis filters now popping up all over TikTok, I am intrigued.
But this is far from a new phenomenon. In fact, the trend first exploded in the late Seventies with Colour Me Beautiful, the seminal book on the subject by highly regarded colour consultant Carole Jackson.
Decades later, the Colour Me Beautiful movement is still going strong, with 220 consultants around the country, though they now categorise people as light, deep, warm, cool, clear or soft.
I make an appointment (£160 for 90 minutes) with colour consultant Angi Jones to test it out, and I found the whole experience great.
She tells me gold is my go-to for jewellery, blush pink, ruby red and warmer blues are my winning colours, and to steer clear of cooler tones as they emphasise the bluey undertones of my under-eye circles.
Getting your colours done is an investment that will last decades.
Once you know yours you will never go wrong again.”
Rebecca adds: “You add salt to your food before tasting it. That’s never the done thing anymore in polite circles,” instead, take a bite or two before adding any on top.
While buying vinyl was cool ten years ago, there’s no need to splurge on a record now. Team Spotify or Apple Music will do now, says Rebecca.
“It’s OK to simply be Team Spotify or Apple Music,” Rebecca told the Daily Mail.
Printing your boarding pass ‘just in case’ – nobody needs to do it says Rebecca, having one saved in your photo file and one on your flight app is enough.
Asking your friend to go for drinks, but only having one and heading home at 9, is the new friendship killer, says Rebecca.
Either stay out and make it worth your time or don’t plan anything.
Getting super excited about the new cleaning product you’ve found, is not the kind of chat Gen Alpha wants to have, apparently nobody cares and yes, they’ve heard of The Pink Stuff.
Another sure-fire way to tell your age is saying ‘the youth of today’ unironically says Rebecca, maybe opt for ‘the kids’ or ‘the best gen’ to win you back some brownie points.
“You still think a ‘nice bottle of red’ makes you sophisticated,” is another sign you’re getting old says Rebecca.
We all know it’s about pét-nats and orange wines if you want to fit in with the cool kids these days.
Opting to screenshot everything instead of using the save feature on your phone will make you look older, you have to keep up with technology and get to know the latest features.
Still saying ‘Netflix and chill’? It’s bound to make Gen Z cringe, says Rebecca; the younger generation is all about getting to know their date by going out and doing shared hobbies, not watching TV.
Having your child as your profile picture on social media, the younger gen say there’s no need to be that proud, you’re allowed to have a personality outside of being a parent now.
Using two-in-one or three-in-one hair care products, Rebecca says it’s all about upping the hair care regime and investing in products that specialise in one step.
According to the culture expert, carrying a reusable shopping bag with you in case you need it is not something Gen Z approves of.
It’s even worse if you use one as a handbag; instead, canvas tote bags are the way to go for a plastic-free option.
Rebecca also says that wearing a pair of jeans and a blazer for ‘smart-casual’ attire is not what the younger generation is doing.
Instead, they opt for pairing oversized jeans or trousers with a formal shirt or long skirts with baggy jumpers for a more effortless take.
Matching your shoes to your handbag to look put together is a trend that hasn’t come back around for the younger generation, says Rebecca.
Being effortlessly cool and a little thrown together seems to be how the younger gens like to dress, so opt for a bag and shoes that clash instead.
Buying the same perfume you wore at university isn’t the brag you think it is.
Fragrance is a huge thing for the younger generations, so having a few perfumes to wear depending on the season or your mood is the way to go.
“You think ordering tap water at a restaurant requires an apology,” said Rebecca.
Growing up in the cost of living crisis means the younger generation are not willing to spend £5 on water when there’s a free option, and honestly, we can’t blame them.
