RUTH Moss, who lost her teenage daughter to suicide, is calling for urgent changes in education in schools across the UK to ensure children are kept safe.
Sophie was just 13 when she was found dead at her family home near Dundee in Scotland back in March 2024, after a long battle with mental health issues and self-harm.
“I was beyond heartbroken,” the mum-of-two, who now lives in Edinburgh, previously told during an interview with The Sun.
“It was like someone took my heart and smashed it into a million little pieces.”
She added: “All parents love their children – but I just loved her so much.
“You can’t explain how much you love your children and how hard it is to lose one.
READ MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH
Sophie, who had an older brother, was always a “sensitive” child and felt things deeply from a young age, Ruth said.
“She was a beautiful child, always the one looking after other people,” she explained. “She was very kind but inward-looking.”
Things went from bad to worse when Sophie began to self-harm.
“I’d hold her in my arms as she was crying, and she’d be saying, ‘I don’t want to live this life. I feel so depressed. I hate myself.’ It was heartbreaking.”
Despite the self-harming and two suicide attempts, Ruth says Sophie’s issues were not taken seriously enough by CAMHS.
Ruth previously told the BBC that NHS Tayside’s CAMHS dismissed those earlier attempts as “childish cries for help”.
Then, on the morning of March 1, 2014, tragedy struck
“I was nervous that Sophie would attempt suicide again, because she was impulsive and would hit a low very quickly,” says Ruth.
“But on that Saturday morning, I wasn’t expecting it. Even if you know that your child is at risk of severe self-harm, it’s not the first thing that comes to your mind.
“When that doorbell rang I remember thinking ‘What is the postman doing here at quarter to seven?’
When Ruth opened the door, she assured the medics that they had got the wrong house, to which they explained a neighbour had called them after seeing unusual activity at the family home.
Sophie was discovered dead at the scene.
“I sat there completely traumatised not knowing what to do,” the mum said.
“Then they all left and a man was washing his car outside as if nothing had happened while I was just thinking ‘my life’s just fallen apart’. It was just horrific.”
Ruth believes her daughter would have “absolutely” survived if CAMHS had given a good standard of care.
“Nothing exceptional, just standard of care,” she explained. “And had had some element of accountability throughout the process, then Sophie would be alive today.”
Ruth added : “I hold NHS Tayside responsible for Sophie’s death. It’s made me angry, upset, hurt – a whole barrage of other feelings.”
In October 2020 an inquiry by Sheriff Lorna Drummond found that precautions that could have been taken by CAMHS and NHS Tayside “might realistically have resulted in the death being avoided”.
How to get help
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
Now Ruth is backing callings for better education in Scottish schools as well as a better funded CAHMS service, both of which could have potentially saved her daughter’s life.
Earlier this year, the UK Government announced that suicide prevention will be taught in schools in England after three dads who lost their daughters to suicide fought to change education guidance.
Ruth is supporting a campaign that demands the same action to be taken in Scotland.
“I don’t know if a programme like this in Sophie’s school would have changed the outcome for us, but what I do know is that it would have helped her friends to understand how to help her,” she told Edinburgh Live.
“Speaking about suicide helps to break the stigma in itself so if we can have that conversation early, then the better it will be for young people.
“For Sophie, she went through some really down periods in her life. If her friends had been able to understand the risk in that situation, it might have helped.
“Education like this doesn’t only help the person who is struggling, but it helps their support network too.
The latest statistics from Public Health Scotland show thousands of children are being referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) every year.
In June, figures show that 146 children had been waiting more than a year for treatment.
“Waiting lists for referrals to CAMHS must be decreased and young people need to be equipped with understanding suicide.
“Sometimes, it takes children to make an attempt on their own life before they get help. Is that really the position we want to be in as a society?
“For Sophie, I wrote a letter begging CAMHS: ‘Do you need to wait until something happens to her before you accept her? It was agonising but it’s not their fault they’re so under-resourced.
“In order to actually combat this issue, we need to fix the waiting lists, rejected referrals and the quality of service once they get there.”
