Whether it’s discussing his love for baseball or something far more polarizing, namely politics, it appears that no topic is out of bounds for Roy Wood Jr. With his new book, the comedian-turned-author may be taking on his heaviest discussion thus far: parenting.
Known for his years on “The Daily Show” and as a host of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Mr. Wood has recently penned “The Man of Many Fathers: Life Lessons Disguised as a Memoir.” He centers the book around his son’s birth and life to create a generational tour de force of his own influences and father figures. As the title suggests, no topic is off limits, whether it’s blended families or domestic violence.
The Monitor spoke with Mr. Wood via phone amid his book tour, which has included stops in New York and Chicago. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Why We Wrote This
With his new book, “The Man of Many Fathers: Life Lessons Disguised as a Memoir,” comedian Roy Wood Jr. may be taking on his heaviest discussion thus far: parenting.
What was your process in putting the book together?
Books are different from TV shows and movies. With a movie, you write with an ending in mind. With a TV show, you look at which way you want to take characters over an arc of a series, and how you get there, you’re not necessarily sure about. In a navigation sense, a movie is going from Point A to Point B, and you know the route, while a TV show goes from Point A to Point B and there are many routes you can take. A book is just heading in a direction, but where’s Point B? I don’t know, but I’m just headed that way. Then you start writing and thinking about parenting.
The book started originally as a list of lessons to give my son, just some chicken noodle soup for the soul, a bunch of stories that aren’t related to each other. Let me tell you a story about this man who inspired me when I was working day labor. Let me tell you about a drug dealer I met who was oddly inspiring. Let me tell you about my mom. But then the more I needed to tell you about those people, the more I needed to tell you the backstory about why I was making choices in certain situations. Well, for you to understand those choices, I need to explain to you the dynamic between my mom and dad. Also, before we get to that, I gotta explain to you that I’m my mom’s only child, and I’m the ninth of 11 kids. So it became this flourishing, emotional foundation that needed to be laid first, then I could get into the stories.
I have a crazy work ethic. Why? Because sometimes my parents would argue, and my dad wouldn’t pay bills to prove a point. So I started working at 13, so there would always be a little bit of money in the house to counter my dad if he was tripping. Well, is that work ethic or is that a trauma response? So you have to start dealing with that, and now this book is no longer “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” This is a real unpacking of my own reckonings of things, and within that, I’m discovering these new truths that I can now give my son. That’s what the book ultimately became, and what you thought was Point A to Point B across town was actually a cross-country drive. And you’re exhausted and you’re spent and you’re tired. But every stop along the way was necessary and worthwhile to create, the book in its totality. In that regard, I’m grateful that I was able to go on this journey because it was therapeutic for me to a degree as well.
A consistent theme of your work has been character building. Why is that such an important part of your ethos?
I think it’s important to know why we are the way we are. If we don’t know that, or don’t identify that, how can we really pour into anybody? How can you be more [and do more] if you aren’t aware of what exactly it is that you possess?
What have been some highlights during the book tour?
I’d say the best part of promoting the book has been the feedback from the readers. The main thing … has been the messages from parents, emails and DMs from strangers, talking about their own conflicted childhoods that they had with their parents. How do you reconcile it? How do you make peace with that? Because you can’t be a good parent if you’re still in your feelings about what you never got. And there’s no way to completely let go of things that may have happened to us in our childhood. But I do think that there is a way to identify at least the good parts of your parents and focus on how you can pass and instill those values onto your children.
What do you want readers to take away from this book?
Don’t just look to your parents when you search for the answers about your identity. We get so fixated on what our mom did and what our dad did and how that affects us. But that man you worked with for two weeks at that job, if you really sit and look at it, had some crazy and adverse effects on you, too. You gotta acknowledge that. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I mean that in a sense of truth – accepting and absorbing.
Once we start looking at the entire community who raised us, I think, then, we have an opportunity to really be honest with ourselves about who we are. Once you know who you are, then you’re armed with all the tools – what parts of you are the best of you, and how to instill and pass those down to your children.
