This article is taken from the November 2025 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Get five issues for just £25.
From: Ben.Nunn@HMT
Mate, there’s no way I’m getting into Budget speculation. As you know, Rachel is always open to ideas for getting Britain’s economy moving. That’s all you’re going to get from me.
From: [email protected]
Look, who DIDN’T admire Putin in the 2000s? And the 2010s? And, sure, last year? I know you media types go all weak at the knees over the Ukrainians, but my sources in that part of the world tell me the situation is just a little more complex. Frankly I think we have to take a bit of a look at the imperialist aggressors of NATO and the capitalist running dogs of … hang on, I’ll come back to you.
This Crypto investment is going to the MOON! Buy $NIGECOIN now for GUARANTEED RICHES! (Riches not guaranteed. This does not constitute investment advice. You should not invest anything you want to see again.)
From: Tim.Allan@No10
Wonderful lunch, thank you! As I said, we need to find new ways of connecting with voters in the 21st century. I’m thinking about setting Keir up with one of these “weblogs” that I keep reading about in my press clippings. Do you know anyone who could give us advice on “weblogging”? I expect we’d need one of those “sites” like my assistant uses on her computer thing.
From: [email protected]
Bit of a cock-up there, turned out I was looking at one of Nathan’s old briefing notes. Though he makes some good points.
Always tired? Missing your vim and vigour? Drink Miracle REFORMO to put lead in your pencil! (Contains actual lead. Not to be taken internally or externally.)
From [email protected]
OPERATIONAL: Ed Davey will be taking part in a sponsored Laser-Tag tomorrow with ginger orphans, in order to raise awareness of the damaging impact that increasing employment taxes will have on dog shelters.
From: [email protected]
Well, in the first place I simply don’t think you can expect to get fair reporting of the Conservative Party from left-wing outlets like the Telegraph. And second, even if Robert did say that, you can’t know what he meant. Everyone “smells”. He might easily have been saying that immigrants smell nice.
From: [email protected]
I wasn’t.
From: Ben.Nunn@HMT
Seriously, though. Have you got any ideas? We’ll take anything.
