CATCHING up over a cuppa Ilene Gowan told her daughter Nicole all about the new man in her life.
Ivan Brammer lived in Ilene’s apartment building and with a history of abusive relationships Nicole was thrilled that her mum had finally found a ‘nice guy.’
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But she couldn’t have been more wrong.
On 14th February 2023, callous Brammer strangled Ilene to death before leaving her body to rot in a ditch.
The heartless killer even swiped the £900 savings that Ilene had been keeping in her safe and deposited it in his own bank account.
In January 2024, Ivan Brammer was found guilty of second-degree murder, tampering with a corpse and theft.
But while Brammer might have robbed Nicole of her mum, she now shares his surname after marrying his son Justin eight months after the trial.
Nicole, 32, from Council Bluffs, Iowa, says: “It’s hard to believe my husband’s dad killed my mum.
“But Justin is not his dad, he’s nothing like him and he’s as horrified by what Ivan did as I am.
“It’s thanks to mum’s relationship with Ivan that I met Justin.
“I wish she’d been loved the way I am but Ivan was incapable of that.”
Ilene met Brammer in March 2021, and at first she was unsure about getting romantically involved with him.
Nicole explains: “She told me that he was a really nice guy but he wasn’t the best looking.
“Mum’s love life had been a disaster as she’d dated abusive men so I encouraged her to go on the date reminding her that not everything was about looks.”
Ilene went on the date and soon she and Brammer, 60, were in a serious relationship and Nicole was introduced to him a month later.
“I was happy for her,” she says, “Ivan was friendly and joked around.”
Shortly after Brammer moved in with Ilene, 58, and when her lease ran out in December 2021 she moved in with Nicole with Ivan staying over most nights.
Nicole says: “Mum was devoted to my girls, Aubrey, six, and Ashlynn, one.
“They loved having her around and so did I.”
One day Ilene’s car stopped working and Brammer, a mechanic, offered to help but something didn’t sit right with Nicole.
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“He charged her,” she explains.
“It wasn’t right but my mum just defended him and said that it was cheaper than than the garage.
“I pointed out that they were in a relationship and that she didn’t charge him for meals but I couldn’t get through to her.”
Nicole was having issues with her own relationship so Ilene and Brammer moved in with his son Justin to give her space.
In July 2022 Brammer celebrated his 61st birthday and Nicole met Justin for the first time.
“He was attractive and quiet, the opposite to his dad,” she recalls.
A month later, Nicole’s relationship ended and Justin offered Nicole and her daughters his spare bedroom and they moved in.
“It was nice being with mum again, but I noticed she and Ivan argued a lot,” Nicole says.
“One day he screamed at her because we were going shopping, and he wanted her to stay.
“It was controlling but she insisted that he just wanted to spend time with her.
“He’d question her over who she spoke to at the bar where she worked and if he’d had a drink, he got angry.
“Naturally feisty, mum would give it back if she’d had a few.”
But while Brammer and Ilene’s relationship was on the rocks, Nicole and Justin had grown closer and by December 2022 they were an item.
“We’d become tired of refereeing rows,” Nicole says.
“One night they argued until 3 a.m, then we heard a struggle.
“Justin found mum on the bed with Ivan standing over her. She said that he had been strangling her.
I was sick with worry, I felt that Ivan had to be involved
Nicole Brammer
“Justin asked them both to leave. It broke my heart to kick mum out, but I had two little girls, she understood.
“I told her the relationship was toxic and she agreed it was best to separate.”
Ilene moved in with a friend while Brammer stayed with his granddaughter but just days later the pair were back together.
Nicole says: “Mum told me Ivan had promised to change and go to counselling but she’d been through similar promises with her old boyfriends.
“Trouble was, when mum fell in love, she fell hard.
“She was always reluctant to give up on a guy, even when he was no good for her.
“Though she’d brought me up to be a strong independent woman, mum often settled for men that didn’t deserve her.”
Ilene and Brammer’s relationship continued, on and off, with Nicole continuing to speak to her mum every day.
But on February 14th, Valentine’s Day, 2023 nobody could get hold of Ilene.
Nicole says: “I called Ivan and asked if he had seen mum, he said he hadn’t but his response felt off.
“Mum didn’t show for work, which wasn’t like her, she was so dependable.
“By the time Justin got home, I was sick with worry, I felt that Ivan had to be involved.”
The couple checked Ilene’s friend’s house where she had been staying and discovered her purse and £900 were missing from her safe.
They went to the police with the hope of reporting Ilene missing but the sergeant explained that as she was an adult there wasn’t much they could do if she had decided to go ‘off-grid.’
“I lost it,” Nicole admits.
“I explained that it wasn’t normal for mum, we talked every day and that I was sure that something very bad had happened.”
The following day the police interviewed Brammer who claimed he’d dropped Ilene at a friend’s.
“But the police could prove that he hadn’t,” Nicole says.
“Then he said he’d dropped her on the road near a friend’s house but they proved that was a lie too.
“Justin even tried calling his dad to ask him about it but he denied having anything to do with the disappearance.”
On the 16th February, the weather took a turn and it began to snow.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of mum maybe out there, in the cold,” Nicole says.
She organised a search of the local countryside with the help of drones, four-wheel drive and a pilot friend even flew over the are in search of Ilene.
But there was still no sign of her.
On February 26th, police arrived at Nicole’s home with horrific news.
A father and son out shooting had found a frozen woman’s body in a ditch.
Her face had deteriorated as a result of local wildlife and she had just one breast.
“Mum had one breast as a result of breast cancer years earlier,” Nicole says.
“I knew it had to be her, but I prayed it wasn’t.”
The following day, fingerprints confirmed that it was Ilene’s body that had been discovered.
“Mum’s funeral was packed with hundreds of friends and family,” Nicole says.
“I picked Celine Dion’s Because You Loved Me, it summed up mum for me.”
A month after Ilene’s disappearance, police arrested Brammer.
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Forensic examination had revealed cuts and bruises on Ilene’s body, a broken tooth and some head injuries, but no obvious cause of death.
It meant that Brammer could only be charged with tampering with a corpse.
“Even that charge looked shaky,” Nicole says.
“The prosecutor urged us to find a pathologist who could determine the cause of death.
“Incredibly, my uncle found an expert who said marks on mum’s neck proved her jacket zip had been pulled across her throat while she was strangled.”
Detectives later found CCTV from February 13th which showed Ilene in Brammer’s car while still alive.
Later footage showed her slumped and unmoving.
“She was most likely dead at that point and Ivan was driving around looking for somewhere to dump her,” Nicole says.
“Detectives also found Ivan had banked the exact amount missing from mum’s safe.”
Brammer was charged with second-degree murder, tampering with a corpse and theft.
At the trial in January 2024, Ivan Brammer was found guilty on all three charges. He was sentenced to 50 years for murder, ten for tampering with a corpse, and five for theft. The sentences were concurrent.
“I burst into tears,” Nicole says.
I want women and girls to value themselves so they reject men like Ivan
Nicole Brammer
“Justin cried out ‘Yes!’ when the verdict was read out.
“In his victim impact statement he told Ivan he was ‘ashamed of the father he’d become.’”
Eight months later, Justin and Nicole married.
“Our celebrant was the lawyer who prosecuted Ivan,” Nicole says.
“I carried burgundy roses and sunflowers, mum’s favourite and mine and inside my bouquet was a locket with her photo.
“It was a beautiful but bittersweet day.”
Since the trial Nicole has had plenty of time to reflect on her mum’s relationship with Brammer.
“Ivan’s controlling behaviour, jealousy and the arguments were all red flags,” she says.
“Sadly mum, like so many women, had low self-worth and thought that was all she deserved.
“I want women and girls to value themselves so they reject men like Ivan.
“Mum loved so deeply, and he took advantage of that.
“Tragically, my mum didn’t love herself enough to walk away from a monster and I hope that’s something other women can learn from.”
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