The first rule of celebrity is: You’re only as famous as the people you know. That’s why all celebs are shameless namedroppers.
But Rylan, the waxen-faced former X Factor contestant now on the roster of This Morning presenters, is in a class of his own. He doesn’t drop names, he carpet-bombs them.
Casually describing Geri Horner’s 50th-birthday shindig, in the back of a tuktuk on Rob And Rylan’s Passage To India, he said, ‘Yeah, so I’m on a table with Geri, Hugh Grant, Mel C, Shirley Bassey, directly opposite me. Vicky was there, Emma was there, it was lovely.’
His travelling companion, Rob Rinder, made him spell it out: ‘Who’s Vicky and Emma?’
‘Victoria Beckham, Emma Bunton, like Spice Girls, darling.’
Rob, who possesses one of the most acerbic tongues on TV, could easily have pricked Rylan’s bubble, with a little sly mockery — ‘Were they excited to meet you?’
But he didn’t. In the course of their grand tour of Italy last year, the 47-year-old barrister seemed increasingly smitten with his younger friend, and the attraction was no less obvious as they began their new adventure in Delhi.
Guzzling champagne to celebrate Rylan’s 36th birthday, Rob spelled out what he was looking for in a man: ‘I thought I wanted a scaffolder who could read Proust. But basically, all I want is someone who’s just going to make me laugh.’
Neither Rob Rinder (left) or Rylan Clark (right) knew much about Indian art, and the claim that they were following in the footsteps of Edwardian novelist E.M. Forster was simply pretentious, writes Christopher Stevens
The pair began with the obligatory hand-wringing about the evils of the British Empire during their trip
If he was making a pass, Rylan swatted it away. ‘You are never touching me!’ he snapped.
While promoting the show, he felt obliged to emphasise their relationship is platonic: ‘We’re like a married couple — we row all the time and don’t have sex.’
The theme of the previous series worked well. Rob is an art gallery habitué, Rylan can’t tell a Botticelli from a bottle of limoncello. Their gallivanting involved lots of culture and a smattering of debauchery.
But applying the same formula to India was less successful.
Neither of them knew much about Indian art, and the claim that they were following in the footsteps of Edwardian novelist E.M. Forster was simply pretentious.
They began with the obligatory hand-wringing about the evils of the British Empire. ‘For 200 years, we ruled the country for our own benefit,’ Rob announced. ‘We brought cricket and trains, which proved useful for taking our treasure back home.’
He persisted in this crassness at the home of a celebrity billionairess, Shalini — star of the Netflix series Fabulous Lives vs Bollywood Wives. During a tour of her mansion, he marvelled at the photographs of George V and Mary, the former emperor and empress.
‘Can you see why I’m a bit surprised?’ he gasped.
Shalini deftly turned his rudeness against him. ‘Nobody else has ever questioned it except the British themselves,’ she said, and added, ‘Anyway, now Indians rule Britain. All the top business people are of Indian origin.’ Ouch.
