STRICTLY champ Ore Oduba has bravely revealed how the heartbreaking suicide of his sister Lola “changed his whole outlook on life.”
The Strictly winner said the devastating loss in April made him vow to “make the most of every single second” – sparking a huge shift in how he lives his life.
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Ore’s sister Lola was the youngest of four siblings raised in Wimborne Minster, Dorset, by Nigerian parents.
Ore grew up alongside older brother Tolu, 40, and sister Temi, 45, a high-flying businesswoman.
Their dad was a successful lawyer back in Nigeria, while mum Fola, 78, was heavily involved in her church before later moving to London.
Lola, who had worked as a Guardian journalist and trained chef – even appearing on Come Dine With Me – had also battled personal demons in the lead-up to their tragic death.
In a moving farewell letter, Lola revealed they had begun to identify as non-binary after a difficult period in their life.
The loss was felt far and wide, with friends organising a memorial walk and planting a tree in their memory.
Their funeral at Honor Oak Crematorium in South East London was turned into a celebration of life, with mourners encouraged to wear bright, joyful colours.
One of the groups Lola had performed with – a vocal improvisation collective – remembered them as “full of passion, creativity and so much presence.”
They added she “compounded by a number of difficult life events, battled daily with emotional, psychological and in the end, a lot of physical turmoil.
“Ultimately, Lola decided they were unable to fight those daily battles anymore and chose to find peace in death.”
Ore paid his own tribute saying: “I wasn’t prepared to lose my sister. She has been with me every day since. My sister is non-binary, they told us in their goodbye letter.
“They’ve been with me every day since and what my sister did in choosing to find a peace in death that they couldn’t find in life; that was strength. That was courage and that was brave.
“And having gone through the last four or five years of their life and hearing about their struggles physically and emotionally, when actually my sister did more living in the actual five years of their life than the previous 32, and still made a decision that they couldn’t carry on living in this world.
“What they did for all of us in those last weeks, that has given me the strength every day and my responsibility now is to carry that legacy because nothing is hard compared to what my sister went through.”
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He added: “We don’t know when our last day is and the truth of it is there isn’t time, there isn’t time, so I’m going to make the most of every single second I have left.
“I can’t say enough when you have been through something that puts life into perspective – your whole outlook changes.
“None of this stuff matters but you can wrestle what is really important back before it is too late, so that is what I’m doing now.”
Opening up about his own sexuality, Ore addressed speculation head-on, saying: “So am I gay, as someone keenly asked me on Instagram yesterday? No – not in the traditional or sexual sense.”
He explained he’s “shedding a former self” to embrace “the truest version of me – without shame, without hiding, without worrying how others see me.”
Ore had lifted the glitterball trophy in the show’s most-watched final ever.
Over 13 million viewers were captivated by his show-stopping moves and effortless charm as he triumphed alongside dance partner Joanne Clifton in 2016.
Until then, the 39-year-old had been best known as a children’s TV presenter.
Strictly Come Dancing turned him into a household name and launched a dazzling career spanning TV and radio presenting, acting, and West End performances.
Earlier this year, Ore starred as Caractacus Potts in the UK tour of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
He is also starring in the world premiere tour of Picture You Dead, portraying Stuart Piper, an eccentric art collector entangled in a web of stolen art.
Ore recently celebrated one year of sobriety, attributing his progress to therapy and self-awareness.
He bravely opened up about his addiction battle for the first time.
The dad-of-two took to Instagram to share an emotional message with fans, saying he has been fighting addiction for most of his life.
He shared a photo of himself sitting on a train with his hand over his face, and captioned it: “Until recently, I had spent most of my life as an addict.
“Shame was interwoven into my addictive behaviours – they went hand-in-hand.
“Through therapy and finally admitting to myself that I’d suffered from addiction pretty much my entire life, I’m so happy to share I’ve been ‘sober’ for over a year, if that is indeed how to describe my case.
“Despite living with it silently, secretly for decades… undiagnosed and untreated, it might well in the end have ruined my life.”
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
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