DEAR DEIDRE: I’m risking the job I fought so hard to get because I’m having amazing sex with the daughter of my boss.
Her father owns the online jewellery shop I work for.
I’m a guy of 26, and did a silversmith course at university as it’s a field I’m fascinated with.
After graduating, though, I could only find temporary work in bars and restaurants.
Then, three months ago, I applied for a jewellery designer’s job.
It was a dream for me and I managed to convince the very serious director of the business that I had what it took.
The first few weeks were amazing and I threw myself into work.
I loved the creativity and got involved in designing a new range of styles for the company.
I was invited to the launch party too. It was a new experience for me and I was having a great time — then things got even better when the boss’s daughter walked in.
She was incredible and leant in for a kiss on the cheek when her dad introduced us. We talked for ages and I definitely sensed her flirting all night before we both called separate cabs.
Mine turned up first, and she just jumped in with me and came back to my place, where we had sex three times.
She’s incredible, energetic and fun. But one of the women from our accounts department saw us leave together and has warned me off.
Other men who’ve been interested have apparently been “let go” once her father found out. She is a couple of years younger than me and going to university in a few weeks to do a post-grad course.
Should I keep seeing her and risk my job?
DEIDRE SAYS: It depends on how you feel about one another.
She’s about to move away from home and there will be some big changes ahead.
You’re both single and can do as you please. No matter what her father thinks about his daughter, he is going to have to let her go at some point.
Talk to her about how she sees your relationship. If you both want to keep things casual for now, it might be worth keeping things close to your chest.
After all, she’s about to start a new chapter and may well become less focused on you in her first term.
In that case you’d be better off letting her go without having upset your work environment.
But if the time comes when you both feel you want to go public, it will help if you can show how serious you are about each other.
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Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
WORRIED OVER MY LACK OF ORGASMS
DEAR DEIDRE: What does it take for a woman to have an orgasm? I’ve never had one and am longing to experience it.
I’ve been with seven different men – a couple of one-night stands and a few longer-term relationships – but nobody has been able to make me achieve it.
I love sex – but the lack of orgasm leaves me feeling a little unfulfilled.
I’ve got a boyfriend and we’ve tried stopping and starting but nothing helps me. I’m 22 and he’s 25.
I’m worried he might get fed up because I don’t climax.
My friends all talk about their “amazing” sex lives and I’m beginning to think there’s something medically wrong with me. Can you help?
DEIDRE SAYS: Sex doesn’t come with a manual because people are different and like different things.
Most women don’t achieve orgasm through intercourse alone and you’re probably no different.
What you need, is to be fully aroused. You need stimulation to other parts of your body, particularly the erogenous zones.
Perhaps use different strokes and techniques on yourself to see what feels good and then guide your boyfriend to do the same – with his hands, through massage, or kissing and caressing you.
My support packs Understanding Female Pleasure and Women And Orgasm explain how to get the most out of your sex life.
DEPRESSION AFTER CRASH HAS COST ME MY MARRIAGE
DEAR DEIDRE: AN accident has caused my marriage to break down after three months because I wouldn’t admit that I was struggling.
I’m 24 and my wife is 25. I had a car crash at 19 with a friend who hadn’t long passed his driving test.
He lost control and rolled the car.
We both survived but I ended up wearing a back brace. It restricts and embarrasses me.
I’d been with my fiancée for three years and was feeling very low about my situation so she suggested we get on with wedding planning to give us something to look forward to.
After our wedding and honeymoon, though, I felt more miserable than ever. She kept telling me to get an appointment with my GP but my male ego said, “No!”.
I spent weeks in bed, refusing to talk to anyone. She’s now left me and gone to her parents.
DEIDRE SAYS: It can be draining living with somebody who won’t try to help themselves.
Now you’re worried you might lose her, so call her and admit things were tough for you but commit to change.
Convince your wife to see that you’re going to look after yourself from now on.
Talk to your doctor and ask for a referral back to your specialist to see what else can be done.
See backuptrust.org.uk, who help those with spinal issues.
I USED NUDE PICS TO STALK BLOKE
DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve turned into that woman off Baby Reindeer, stalking a man who works with my mum.
He’s found out it’s me and he’s told her what I’ve done.
This man stole my heart when he came to fix our shower one night.
My mum takes service calls for a plumbing company and this man is one of her colleagues. He’s 37 and lovely.
I’m 19 and I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I thought this man could be right. I started following him on social media and found out his work number when Mum left her laptop open.
Without revealing my face, I sent him topless pictures. I thought men liked that. I was hoping he’d message back but I didn’t hear anything so I sent more explicit photos but, again, I heard nothing.
Mum came home furious from work one evening. I’d FaceTimed her earlier when her colleague was next to her. He recognised my bedroom wallpaper. He’s livid. He showed Mum the photos.
Apparently he got sacked from a previous job because a girl got him into trouble.
He says Mum has broken data protection rules by allowing me access to her computer. I don’t know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: I hope your mum can smooth the waters, but you may have jeopardised both their jobs.
Make it a rule from now on to never, ever share a photograph with anyone that you wouldn’t want your family to see.
Once it’s out there, you don’t know where it will end up.
Stalking or harassing is a serious offence. You know nothing about this man and a less scrupulous person may have taken advantage of you.
Write him a card and apologise for harassing him. Tell him and your mum that you’ll never do this again and let’s hope that’s the end of it.
You can get confidential support from themix.org.uk, which offers free counselling to people up to the age of 25.
